Help me figure out! Thanks ❤
I have noticed a trend. I connect with a member, some members share what's on their mind, and after a while they feel good about the conversation we have. . But in a day Or two, the same members stop responding. They don't reply to me checking on them.
Why is that so? Does the member want only one time conversation with a listener and dont want to converse with the same listener?
Is it because of easy availability of listeners that they tend to undervalue someone's efforts?
Is it because they are so troubled that they do not care to open the chat box again despite getting a notification?
Is it because the app has bugs and new messages aren't getting displayed?
Please share your opinions. Thank you :)
@Explorepeace tbh you're so kind for even being bothered about it ... it shows you care about your members and want to support them as much possible
I'm actually someone who goes silent at times also .. but it's never because I undervalue or am ungrateful for the listeners that offer support to me ... I really appreciate the people who devote their time and caring attention to support us :)
it's a mix of the other potential reasons you listed sometimes
but it's also correct that sometimes I don't prefer or look for a long term support in a particular listener...maybe others do that too 😅 more of one time chat.
You are also really amazing for checking on your members ... I appreciate the check ins so much... sometimes I go down an isolated hole where a prominent thought is that no one would even bother or care if I'm not around.. in times like these seeing someone care or think of me really makes a lot of difference and with that I can say, it would make a difference for someone experiencing similar thoughts also :')
Please don't let certain instances discourage you from listening...from what I hear .. it seems you're good at it and care about people .. so please keep it up 💕 your efforts and time to support ARE appreciated!
Thank you for writing me back. Thank you for appreciating and providing your valuable opinion.
Sometimes it feels more like I'm becoming dependant on listeners!!
Idk if others feel the same, but a fruitful conversation establishes a bond. Often it is the listener who acknowledges me about how I could make some difference. Probably that makes me feel that 'it isn't the end of conversation'
@Explorepeace I agree with you. Most members do not want a long-term dependency.
Easy availability of listeners? I do not think this is a significant factor.
They are so troubled? Sometimes, yes. If they feel good about the conversation with you, and if that good feeling is not how they really feel about life, then they might prefer a conversation that's more real.
The app has bugs? Yes, the app does have bugs, but I do not think there is a bug that blocks messages.
Charlie
Thank you for responding.
I hope others don't face too much trouble because of such events.
Also, if a member or any human for that matter, doesn't want dependency, should be able to go away from this app, right? If the person chooses to no be dependant on one particular listener, but chooses to remain dependant on different listeners every time, isn't it more likely that the person will remain stuck there, just talking about a couple of issues and getting some comfort in different ways via different words from different listeners everyday and not making any actual progress?!
@Explorepeace That's a good point. Remaining stuck is a risk. Maybe that's why 7 Cups encourages listeners to recommend therapy in those situations (even though there can be many reasons people can't or won't seek therapy).
Charlie
@Explorepeace
Let me tell you, language is a barrier in itself, you can take any language... when the person is really really sad, they want to express themselves but because of the less availability of words they find very very difficult to share themselves.. and listen... Suppose a sad person discuss something with a listener, Already there are very less chances of understanding them properly because a listener is not an expert, they have their own views, their own problems, they own way of understanding things. So already very few listeners are there who actually understand them, and it is not 100% That that listener will always listen compassionately and completely understand the other person, this cycle rotates and rotates depending upon our 'at that moment capability ' & mood, emotions, many other things,. And as i said very few listeners actually understand them, and those who have understood they have not understood them completely, because of thr language barrier, i think this second problem can only be correct by talking to person in reality.. so inshort it's a lie .. that the other person have understood us and they will apply our view, and it's an interesting quality, people are lazy... . You want to help them, there is a way, but if i tell you.. you will be busy in your life rather than helping people especially online...we are helping someone online, this tells alot about us .. It's not hidden, listeners and members are brother of the same family.. usually two brothers only talk when they are in absolute need.. so one has to go to come another.
@Explorepeace
Dear Peace,
I am glad that you posted this question and must apologize in advance, because I was one of those members too. I can only speak in my own name, so maybe some other members will find this relatable and perhaps this will provide some clarity to listeres too.
I never meant any disrespect nor wanting to be rude to a listener. For me personally, the true issue was just that I was so overwhelmed with my own life that responding to a listener checking in was really the last priority I had. I never really thought about it that deeply.
Also, at most times I really craved just a one-time conversation, but didn't see anything in the member-listener relationship that could help me long term, even if the person was really, really good. Having a long-term online relationship was enormously problematic to me at that time, and to some degree it still is. My real need was to have someone IRL in order to make anything long-term out of it, perhaps because I craved being close to someone IRL apart from doing that online.
But this is just my story, I am sure that there are many different factors at play here... I am sorry that this is what it is. While suffering in own problems, sometimes that makes people extremely self-centered and psychologically not able to put themselves in someone elses shoes, because they are so occupied about worrying in their own shoes. At least, in pure honesty, this was the issue with me.
I hope that this helps ❤️