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hard to connect with people?

does anyone else find it hard to connect with other people?

it's especially difficult online, where you can't see who you're talking to and don't get nonverbal cues

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Maslow July 29th

@IdeasOfReference I can empathise with this

1 reply
IdeasOfReference OP July 29th

@Maslow thank you for empathising

I see that you are a listener here

what do you think are the most effective ways of showing empathy as a listener?

1 reply
Maslow July 31st

@IdeasOfReference Active listening

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IdeasOfReference OP July 31st

@Maslow

how are you able to delete messages?

1 reply
Maslow July 31st

@IdeasOfReference No

1 reply
IdeasOfReference OP July 31st

@Maslow

no

1 reply
Maslow July 31st

@IdeasOfReference Deleting messages is not possible

Actually you can <3 You can flag the post and ask them to delete it, or write to a leader who’s a listener and they can delete it for you <3

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Swordpsalm July 29th

All my friends are busy with their other friends and family. I am tired of treating them like a priority when they treat me like an option. I need some real friends. Even though I am married, I still feel alone. I need to sense more of God in my life.

2 replies
IdeasOfReference OP July 30th

hi @Swordpsalm

thank you for stopping by

we all need to have real friends we can rely on when we are struggling

I don't believe in god but I understand that believing brings people comfort especially when they are feeling alone


GoodTrouble19 July 31st

@Swordpsalm I feel you

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@IdeasOfReference

Yes I find it hard. I'm done being a pushover and changing the game, working really hard, so it's doubly hard because people who aren't there will attack and do whatever they can to keep me down because they're trying so hard to compete. Bullying, disagreements, gaslighting...it's all happening by these manipulators, these toxic, abusive people. I'm finding real supportive friends are starting to show up in my life and see me as someone who deserves help, pleasure and help...who actually care and check in unlike these people who are so fake and empty black holes. It's odd for me because my whole life I've been placed in the doormat position. But I'm done being taken for granted and pushed into a hole and gaslit the whole time by people who then wouldn't do a thing to pull me out. So these people are actually seeing this change, seeing that I'm honest, giving and generous, kind...and that I was taken for granted and used. I was doing and would do anything to help these people; they refused to do anything but take advantage of that so I'm done and it's time for my load to be lightened and I think it's time for you too.

1 reply
IdeasOfReference OP July 30th

@communicativePond1728

and I think it's time for you too

my problem is I have strangers talking to me like they have knowledge about me that they aren't letting on, and talking in riddles

nothing can be considered genuine until the abuse stops and people start treating me like a human who deserves dignity, respect and kindness


Jewels2270 July 30th

I found a person like that but I ruined it so :/

1 reply
IdeasOfReference OP July 31st

@Jewels2270

found a person like what?

how did you ruin it?

1 reply
Jewels2270 July 31st

I found a person who was a genuine friend to me, someone who checks on me everyday, tries to help me with my problems, and loved me for who I was. I was in a relationship with them for like 2/ years until they couldn't deal with me anymore.


I ruined it because well I'm a just a loser, she called me a coward,why I can't commit to the relationship despite me telling her the reasons why, she told me I beat around the bush and scared of my own feelings etc...she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore so. I think it's a win for me or both of us not to see each other and I just accept that I'm not gonna be loved ❤️


I guess it's fine by me it wasn't gonna work out in the beginning.





1 reply
IdeasOfReference OP July 31st

@Jewels2270

we're all allowed to have our problems and that doesn't mean we losers

everyone can be loved if we allow ourselves to be

> I guess it's fine by me it wasn't gonna work out in the beginning.

so you didn't ruin it then

@Jewels2270 Relationships are hard, can be complex sometimes, sorry that happened. Live and learn, easy to get down ourselves too, when we blunder. Hard to accept out mistakes too especially when people criticize us. Perhaps we're all losers and winners simultaneously.

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kimidare July 30th

I'm sad because I don't really connect with people. People prefer to hang out with happy and positive people, so they avoid me. And I'm even more sad.

I'm trying hard to hide my sadness but it doesn't seem to work.



1 reply
IdeasOfReference OP July 31st

@kimidare

you just have to keep trying, there isn't really an alternative

you are stronger than you think!

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@IdeasOfReference I get you, sometimes it feels impossible without the body language to fill us in. Some are less expressive through text too. 

I do… I’m autistic and have PTSD, so it’s hard sometimes…