Sometimes Members block us and that’s okay
Hello everyone, I know that I made a poem yesterday, but I feel like what I have to share in this post, might help a lot of people.
The first time that I talked with a Member, I was blocked, I’m not sure why. Then I started talking to two Members and one Member concerned me so I asked a Mentor for assistance, but because I was so focused on asking for assistance, one of the Members I was talking to, blocked me after I explained that I was still fairly new on here and I apologized to them, but they didn’t want to hear that
I talked with a member last night and then I repeated back parts of what they told me, ( I think the Listener training tells us to do this ), and ever since then, I think they started to use a rude tone with me because whenever I’d suggest things or try to be there for them, they came across like I was bothering them, especially after I pointed out that what they said to me and the generalizations they made about women and Transmen, were not true ( Transmen are men, not women, but they made generalizations about the both of us ) they ended up eventually blocking me. I don’t think the generalizations were necessarily harmful, but I took it personally because I am a Transman ( it’s in my bio. As a gentle reminder. Please look at someone’s profile incase they have their pronouns listed and please don’t just assume someone’s pronouns )
I don’t want to scare you by influencing you to think that someone will block you, but I just want you to know that if you get blocked one day, that sometimes we just don’t connect with someone, sometimes people may accidentally block us, or they don’t like us. You also don’t have to put up with rude behaviour just because your role is to listen
Yes, our role is to listen, but we deserve to be treated well too.
All of this, is to say that i know that sometimes it’s very easy to take things personally, and I’m not telling you not to, but please keep in mind that we won’t connect with everyone we talk to and that’s okay
@embraeycingme1 *claps* This is me giving you a round of applause for learning so early on in your listener journey that not everyone will be receptive to what you have to say. And like you said, not every one will like you. I make an attempt to never try to change a member's belief or opinion--- even if I don't agree with them. I allow people to be themselves and accept them. Embraeycing, I'm so proud of you and your efforts. You are so bright and wise. Thanks for the sweet reminder that it's ok if someone does not like you. It's ok if someone blocks you. This is no reflection on the listener and they should not be discouraged. Thanks again, Embraeycing. Keep on being the amazing you you are. ♡
Thank you!
I know that I can come across as and sometimes I am rude, but if someone is spreading misinformation, even if they may be apart of the community that they’re telling someone something, I personally don’t want them to think it’s okay. I don’t want to force my opinion onto someone, but I want them to know if what their saying isn’t okay and to provide them with another perspective
But if an opinion isn’t harmful, I know that I don’t have to say anything
I appreciate your comment!
@embraeycingme1
Please do not take it personally. It does happen from time to time, it truly has nothing to do with or what you did or didn’t do. I know you’re new here but I have faith you will get the hang of it in no time! There’s a lot of boundary setting as well. You have every right to block someone as well who is harassing or being abusive so never feel bad about it either way!
@embraeycingme1
There are many members out there that want immediate responses or may block for no reason. As a Listener you may get blocked a few times without warning, but that doesn't stop you from Listening. Keep on going and you'll find the members that really need a listening ear and will value you so much!
@embraeycingme1 Thank you so much for this post!
I so far only had 1 member who blocked me because they were expecting questions when I actually gave them the floor to explain what they want to talk about. And this was around my first week of being a listener. What they said was hurtful and I failed to file a report on them since they already blocked me and I failed to screenshot their username and contents.
But I am very glad I could reach out for a coach and mentor on how I can grow to be a better listener and how I can be more vigilant in case any bad situations may occur the next time. And yes, I definitely agree that we don't connect with all kinds of members. And we listeners too deserve the same respect as we give to our members.
You’re welcome! I’m sorry that a Member blocked you
I’m glad that you were able to ask for help. And regarding filing reports, I’m not sure if this is allowed, but when you start a conversation with a Member, take a screenshot or write their username down at the end of a conversation, if you want/need to report them, you’ll have their username. But if you feel like you don’t need to report a Member, delete their username and delete the screenshots . ( regardless if you want/need to report someone, delete their username and screenshots after talking with a Member and or Support. )
I accidentally reported someone based off of remembering only apart of their username and I realized afterwards, that o remembered someone else’s username because they were similar, so please be careful .
Yes, exactly, Members deserve to have support and to be treated with respect, but so do we :)
@OakSerenity same! I’ve had members block me after they got nasty with me and starting swearing at me lol or blocked me after I refused to engage with them sexually. You have to weed out those ones!
@embraeycingme1 a user literally blocked me today because I told them they were brave for opening up and not useless as they thought they were :) was I supposed to just agree? I'm kinda confused...
Maybe the Member was overwhelmed that you cared, or they actually did want you to agree with them or maybe they just accidentally blocked you because I sent a message to someone when I saw that they sent a chat request for a Listener and they instantly blocked me and I’m not sure that it was on purpose
All of this is to say that your feelings of feeling/being confused are valid
I think I have a hard time when I can relate to a Member and I try to let them know that I care, but I can tell that my words just come across as words because I don’t know them and I’m just a stranger to them and I can’t really do much besides refer them to different resources on here and continue to try to support them
@embraeycingme1
well said! All we can do is support, listen, understand, validate. It’s not up to us to change anyone. We are here for them as best as we can try and that’s enough!