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Hello all. I'm Soffy, a 19 year old computer science undergrad. I don't know me, all I know is I'm not fine, other days I'm good, most days, I'm down, mixed emotions, sad, angry, empty, extremely silent that I don't wanna be ask questions, cos I don't wanna open my mouth. If I looked around, all my bored go-to activities, became unenjoyable, would just be sitting there, looking lost, mostly on the ground, cos it's more comfortable there. Those moments, I don't wanna hear human voices, especially if directed to me, it pisses me off, and fuel my anger but I never showed any of those feelings. They're embarrassing cos they just came at me for no reason, randomly, then I start sleeping, woke up and sleep again, till it's dark. Then sleep again all night. On my good days, I don't sleep at night if I slept enough during the day. I don't know what all these is. Other times, I feel like I need to cry to be okay or break something, even tho I've never broken anything cos of that. Any help? I just wanna know and be fine
@SOFFY9
Sounds like onset of a major depressive episode at least that describes what i have went through a time or two in life...
I try to force myself to go outside and do things fight the urge to sleep all day and think about what i am feeling in the moment and try to do things on my "i always thought trying this or that" ideas...
I used to try that too, many times. But at that moment, everything would become unappealing, nothing of interest or excitement, or just unnecessarily tired to do anything, to think or to even carry an expression on my face. When I heard about feeling empty, I never knew it feels exactly how it spells. I be sooo empty feeling like there's nothing in my soul