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Mid life sex issues

Kellyseven October 15th, 2023

Am 50 years old. Sex life is gone out the window. Mind you I love sex but I’ve tried pills eating better no alcohol or drugs but nothing seems to work. I’m 6’ 175 lbs Need some input?


9
SparkyGizmo October 15th, 2023

@Kellyseven

Hi Seven! 😊 ❤️ Thank you for creating this forum post and for reaching out for support! That can take a great deal of courage to do so, from time to time. I commend you my friend! ❤️

I'm happy to spend some time here with you and to perhaps go on an exploratory journey 😊. It could be best that I simply ask questions. You can reply with your answers if you feel comfortable doing so and if you don't feel comfortable sharing this information, that is fine too. Me asking questions can be simply points for you to consider? 

So, I hear you saying that you have done certain things in an effort to correct what is going on and through a variety of ways. I think that is great! I too am one of those "leave no stone unturned" kind of people. 

I also am someone that believes in the strong mind and body connection. 

If you would like to, you could expand your "check list of options" to include:

Reaching out to your primary care physician. I say this because there could be times that any of us, as people, could end up having a bit of a hormonal imbalance. This could happen at any age and for a variety of different reasons. 

I see that you shared your age here with us and so with being the age of 50, a clinician may want to do simple lab tests to start ruling things out, one by one. If you are a female, it could be the possibility that you are para menopausal or in menopause. This can effect ones libido or performance.

If you are a male, simple lab tests could also be helpful to see if it is a possibility that you are experiencing "low testosterone" and testosterone levels can decline as well as a man ages. This can also effect ones libido or performance. 

A thoughtful discussion with a primary care physician could be a wonderful first step to help correct things and or to rule out things. 

It sounds as if your "interest is still there" but something is impeding the process? 

Moving forward.....are you currently in a relationship with someone? If so, how is that relationship going? Do you feel that some things may be going on in the relationship that are hindering your performance in that way? Always something to consider. 

How do you feel about your partner if you currently have one? Do you feel safe with them, connected to them in a loving way? 

What role has porn played in your lifestyle? I feel that in this day and age, it's a legitimate question as for some, seeing images on a screen in a somewhat voyeuristic way and not being a part of it, can inhibit performance when in the actual act. What one see's on a screen many times is not what happens behind a closed bedroom door. 

Also, in this day of social media, *** models, beauty filters, etc. this sets up a false sense of what real people actually look like, in the here and the now. Have your expectations changed in regard to what you see as true beauty in your day to day life? 

Again, these are simply questions and thoughts to consider and I'm truly hoping that I was helpful in some way for you! ❤️ If I wasn't or even if I was, hopefully others will see your post, help us out and add their input as well! I truly see it all as teamwork effort around here. 

*high fives* 😊  and big *hugs* ❤️ my friend!  




4 replies
Kellyseven OP October 15th, 2023

I have tried everything possible that I can think of. Loving sex so much and now nothing at all. Very frustrating and depressing!! If anyone has a solution please I beg you let me know!! Thanks

2 replies
adventurousBranch3786 October 16th, 2023

@Kellyseven. I see that you mentioned that you’ve tried pills. If you are a man an Urologist is usually a good place to start.  There are different treatments including surgical implants that an Urologist could discuss with you.

1 reply
Kellyseven OP October 16th, 2023

Do that as well!!

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Kellyseven OP October 16th, 2023

Thanks

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Paulrm October 16th, 2023

@Kellyseven

ah! Yes, midlife does come with sex issues. Hmmmmmm!  Also vision issues, sometimes also weight issues..  structural issues will require modern medicine but psychological elements seem to be trickier to resolve /. In my opinion.  Please accept my sympathy and let me wish you very good luck.

1 reply
Kellyseven OP October 16th, 2023

Thanks

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Sventek October 17th, 2023

@Kellyseven

You didn't specify which pills.

Has your doctor checked your testosterone levels?

The exercise, eating right, abstaining from drugs/alcohol/smoking all help, but isn't always the full picture. The first step, is always to examine any medical issues including hormone control. Then, if all of those check out, your next step is to dive into mind-based reasons.

As men age, some men lose testosterone - which can kill libido.

What else can kill libido in men 50+?

Lack of Testostorone

Other Hormonal Imbalance

Chronic Stress (excess cortisol)

Relationship Issues (lack of intimacy, unresolved issues, etc.)

Pharmaceutical Drugs, especially anti-depression medications also anti-psychotics, anti hypertension.

Self-Image/Self-Esteem

Medical Conditions such as diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, etc.

Sleep Issues which includes lack of sleep OR sleep apnea

Surgeries to the prostate or pelvic area

Lack of exercise (although you didn't go into detail on how difficult your workouts are or heartrates, weights, etc. or just cardio)

It is best to work with your doctor, rule out a medical issue - then work inward from there.

Good luck!