I don't feel understood
I am not a new member, but this is my first time posting publicly. In the two years I've been here, I've spoken with many listeners, and I can say that very few seem to truly understand what I’m saying. This isn’t necessarily their fault, as my depression is quite severe, and my way of thinking tends to be extreme (black-and-white)
I just feel huge disappointment because even those who initially seem to understand, eventually start talking to me about hope and saying things like "everything will be fine," without basing it on anything concrete. I understand that many people need to hear exactly that, and it’s said with 100% good intentions, but to me it feels like toxic positivity and it’s triggering. If there were signs that there is hope for my situation to improve, I would have hope. And if there was an obvious solution to my problems, I would have already tried it (as I have).
I’m not asking anyone to understand me under pressure, as that’s impossible. Only someone with similar experiences or a mindset like mine could do so. But I keep searching and can’t find anyone...
I apologize if I sound critical.
Thank you for reading.
i've been thinking about this post for days since i first saw it and been following it and reading the responses that come in. Some of which are def less than helpful or understanding, sigh. That one by AFollowerofPlate was pretty awesome.
I don't have any words of hope or "it will get better" to offer, because honestly, you might have the shittiest life imaginable and you don't need me or any internet stranger to offer you empty words to make you feel even worse. That Is toxic positivity.
the only thing i wanted to offer was what worked for me when depression was kicking my *** and everything was hopeless, looking at things from a scientific perspective. (and please disregard everything i'm about to say if you already know all this, and please skip to the last part of my msg if you don't mind)
so when we are depressed (either because of a chemical imbalance, or because our situation is really effed up, or any other reason) our brain chemicals get all effed up. Here's some things i didn't know about brain chemicals before i really started digging into what was going on in my head (and body)
There are some main brain chemicals that drive not just our mind, but a lot of how are body works
.................................. actually, you know what, i'm going to try and spare you scrolling all past this and just put this into a google doc, so you can literally and very easily just skip past this if you already know all this
Google Doc (written by me) called "Brain Chemicals and how they mess us up when they are messed up"
anyways, learning about this helped me a lot when i felt absolutely hopeless and like there was no point to going on. if you didn't know this information, i hope it helps, and even if you did already know this, i'm really sorry you are going through what you are dealing with and even though it doesn't do any actual good, i just wanted to say you've been on my mind and i hope you find what you are looking for
@RandomHuman001
i don’t want to say I understand, and I feel like I do. I struggle with severe major depressive episodes. It’s really difficult, and I understand the struggle.
@Ana2024
I'm aware that there are a lot of people who suffer from depression out there and they understand my situation, more or less. So I'm sure you do too.
The real problem problem is that when I talk with people and we start to go deeper in what's going on in our heads, they don't seem to understand my philosophy. That's okay, as everyone is different, but still frustrating.
It seems that all of us can understand the struggles of depression itself, but we're unable to understand the pathway one followed to end up like this.
@RandomHuman001
do you feel comfortable elaborating?
@RandomHuman001 i think it also has to do with that people are, obviously, different so the way they take depression also differs
We all can have depression, but the way it affects us or how we deal with it and such are not the same
We're all in a boat but some people have a cruise ship, others have a raft, some an ocean liner and another some driftwood. So when the water is trying to pull them down, some are almost drowning while others are safe and dry.
People can be on a ship but while one is fine the other isn't. People can be underwater, one is struggling to go back up, one accepts it and another welcomes it.
^^not sure if that's fully related to your point but that's where my thoughts took me sorry for disturbing
@RandomHuman001 no you didn't sound critical, yes people do need to reach the way your described, sometimes they would rush in the conversation, as we all want results and for them result is making another person better but 7cups isn't about results it's just a free open space 🌼