Hello, I'm new here, and I need help, new friends, conversation and something in particular.
Hi everyone, I've just became a new member of this site right now. :) My name is AshleyGamer1995 (but you could just call me Ashley or Ash for short if you like, I don't mind either way). I don't know much about this place. So I'm just beginning with this first topic thread I create for voicing out, who I am, what problems I have, etc.
To start off, I am a male, currently aged 28 (my BD is 2nd October, which I'll be turning 29 months later on), and I'm one of those who play video games for all the years, as it's one of my best favourite hobbies. I don't have a job and am not much of an outgoing person, which is why I'm autistic and often stick to being at home and doing things that I'm more used to, like using my laptop or playing on TV. My physical health is always perfectly fine, but my mental health isn't - I have a series of feelings and issues with life and how it treats me in such ways. It is a lot to explain, I know, but for this time I'll just share things that matter most to me.
So here goes: For all these years and still today, I have this #1 best interest of mine in life - a franchise called Pokemon, which is very cool in many ways and stuff. But despite my interest in this... It seems as though no one or not many people online would like to speak to me about Pokemon, nor make new friendships with me on it, no matter how patient or hard I try. I mean, especially in my case that I feel like I always regret myself for not choosing to go along with Pokemon communities much earlier on in my life, during the years 2000-2010, either because I didn't think about that idea or wasn't bothered to do so at the time, and even I didn't play much of Pokemon very seriously until 2013 that I finally gave it a chance and started picking up knowledge on what it's all about, how it works, who the characters and what content are, etc. If I had started talking about Pokemon with others during those times, I would of gained new and kind friends who have same knowledge and interest in the series as I. But, of course, turned out I was unlucky after all, and think to myself, "Why is it my fault?" I know I might sound (a bit) weird, but this is a feeling I have and still might think on sometimes, even to this day. :(
I tried to spread my love and interest on Pokemon from other community sites elsewhere, and even tried posting my own works and paid commission artworks of me and Pokemon together, as much as possible. But it often failed for me, which led me to either being ignored, having very little attention or even worst of all, hatred by others for practically no reason at all. What can I say? >_< It just flipped me out a lot of the time, on one site after another, like Nintendo Life. I tried all I can with people but it seems like I'm thought of as inferior, weird, a jerk, etc., when I'm not even intending any of those, just simply making regular comments on others' artworks of the Pokemon creatures themselves that I admire so much, ones like Pikachu, Charizard, Lapras, Eevee and cousins, Meganium, Ho-Oh, Lugia, Victini, Snivy, Samurott, Virizion, Fennekin...and so on. :/
It's like people always make me feel, "You are not worthy for Pokemon so go away and don't come back to it, and it or Pokemon themselves don't like you, either." >_< Not true in reality, only my mind sees it. But it's still part of my own issues, and that's why I still don't have many or enough proper friends on Pokemon that like it and like me showing interest in it. There's just so much more to explain my struggles on all this and society itself bringing me down a lot of the time. :'(
And if I may ask... Are there any fans of Pokemon existing on this site, to help me out with discussions and new friendships to build? I am a fan in Pokemon myself too, but I don't feel bothered to start looking for any other Pokemon fans myself here. That's why I'm asking now if there are any, even at least one somewhere. Last, but not least, if any of you reply to me... Do be careful, since I am delicate in my mind of what is going to be said, especially if it's something negative that I don't appreciate. It's only positives I like better in return. Thank you.