Church Hurt
Something I don't like about myself. I can write, but I don't like to write. Whenever I write something on the internet, is not intended to help anyone. I wish I could write something that would help you. They say that my gift is the gift of helps, and yet I got nothing helpful to say. I am a damaged person, and that is why I'm on 7cups. Relationally I am a damaged person. I'm here on 7cups because this is currently the only place on the internet that I can go and talk to a live listener about my problems. All past relationships in real life have been either a failure or next to a failure. All my past internet relationships have died. Most die very quickly. I have such a bad track record of this, that even when someone is calling me a friend, I think it will end soon. Usually within a week to a month it will be over.
But this wasn't on my mind when I set down to write. I have been a follower of Jesus since the age of 6. I grew up in a Christian family and I went to Church until the problem that happened in 2020. My parents, to whom I still life with, tried to go back in the fall of 2021. We saw something happen at the Church we were attending. When you add it up with all the other past Church issues in our lives, that caused my parents to say to me: "We are not going back".
I understand that not all people will feel like they belong in Church. If you are not a Christian then you will not feel like you belong with a group of people who are. What I am talking about is church culture. There are Bible believing born again Christians who don't feel like they belong in church. Me and my parents are a small group of them. The weird thing about it is, we don't have major disagreements with the local Bible believing churches. They just don't want to be friends with us. We don't know why.
As I work an isolating job, cleaning a school, 2nd shift, I need some kind of community to help my sanity. Ideally that should be a local church. A club might work too, but a club is not a spiritual organization.
I have some additional problems that I have already talked about in other forum posts. I got my learning disability that slows me down. In fact one of the major issues it causes me, it is puts a cap on me. I can learn something to an extent, but eventually I reach my end. For example, I live in the country. Transportation is important for life. I'm not a great driver. I'm trying to learn how to use a GPS. I get lost easily, and I'm not good at changing lanes in traffic. That puts a big limitation on me.
I am not over weight, and my job keeps me moving, yet I have high blood pressure that makes it hard for my doctor to put me on Learning Disability kind of medication.
Why do I work the job I work, even though it is bad for mental health? Because of the learning disability. Why is it that people probably don't like me, is because of my learning difficulties. I'm an awkward person. I'm not confident.
My Church hurt starts a long time ago. It actually started with my parents. In order to try and explain it all, I wrote 6 page piece on it. I realize that I still need to smooth it out and add more details. But it takes that whole thing before anyone understands what happened to me and my parents. It is frustrating to write that much because I don't have that kind of concentration for it. But really upsets me, is that if the local Churches would of treated us right, then I wouldn't be so upset all the time.
@tryingtosurvive2024 That is too bad, they do not want to be friends with you. It really is. It is interesting. I do not understand, why people judge others. I really do not. I wish people, would stop judging others and just take the time to get to know them. Communication in person is really lacking right now. There is nothing wrong with online communication, but there must be a balance between the two. Just my thoughts here. I hope, you can make some friends here at 7cups and I also hope you can make some in real life, that respect your values. Welcome to 7cups. My name is calmMango. It is really nice to meet you here at 7cups.
@calmMango9611 Thank you for the welcome. The Church problems run deep, and confusing. My Grandparents we two people that drank and smoked. My Grandpa was into some really dangerous living. He could of died multiple times! Both became born again believers at a local Church revival meeting. They got very involved with Church and was until they couldn't do anymore. But when my Dad went to college to follow a calling to become a minister in the same Church denomination something weird happened. He graduated 2nd highest in his class, but it seems that those in charge decided that He wasn't what they wanted. A friend of his had to get the papers for him to sign because the guy in charge of that wouldn't give them to him. After He got his license, they put him in a very very small poor church where He couldn't make ends meet. He had to return to factory work force.
During those years, He served in a local Church as just a youth minister. The denomination administrator, threw his license away. And that was the beginning of the downward spiral.
By the time I came on the scene... In the 5th grade, I was being bullied right in Sunday School! There were other issues, and Dad took Mom and I to a large church outside of our denomination to hide. That way we could attend Church, but not be bothered by the politics.
Some years later, a pastor recruited my Dad to help him with his small Church. For the first year or two things were ok, and for the first time I had some friends at Church. But it didn't last. That pastor wasn't a completely honest person. Things happened and the Church split apart. After that we couldn't find any Church that would befriend us. The virus issue of 2020 finally put the final nail in the Church going coffin.
I wrote a 6 page document file, where I try to explain every part of everything as things fell apart.
As a Christian I can relate to at times not being able to fit in church, Jesus said, you are in this world not of this world, If you were of this world the world would love you as it’s own, but as it is I have chosen you out of the world. The Christian walk is a difficult one but no other walk will be more worth it than this walk cause in eternity we will finally be with Jesus who understands our every weakness and loves us more than language can describe, feel free to drop by if you need a friend and a chat may God bless you, may the grace of Jesus Christ be with you.
@RickAshley123 I just realized that in all the years I've been feeling awful about Church Hurt, I haven't found anyone online that I could talk about this with.
Feel free to leave a chat
I come from a similar situation. My adoptive dad is a pastor but treated me terrible but treated the church great and basically it was like he wore a mask to church then took it off at home. Sorry I just kind of skimmed through your post to try to reply and help the fastest I can. If you have any questions let me know. Sorry I'm still new to this app and figuring out how it works.
Thank you all for this support and app.
Lately I have been feeling unsaved because I'm not fitting into Church. It feels like if the body of Christ has rejected me then maybe Jesus has too.
If you believe that Jesus Christ died for your sins and rose from the dead then you my dear are saved regardless of how people make you feel and heaven is your home ❤️
@RickAshley123 It's weird. I wrote what I wrote for a reason. However I could of written this. I feel like maybe since the church rejected me that maybe I did something wrong. I don't know what, but something. Maybe God was trying to tell me to do something and somehow I missed it. It just hurts not having the Body of Christ in my life, helping me to become something better than I am.
I understand, the church consists of imperfect people that may not fully understand you but Christ will never reject you He said in
John 6:37
However, those the Father has given me will come to me, and I will never reject them
@RickAshley123 I feel extremely misunderstood by everyone I know! It is a very painful feeling. Lately it has been making feel sick and I feel my body trembling. I don't know why prayer doesn't calm me down. Lately my blood pressure has been going up too. Yesterday it got the highest I've seen it probably 5 years or so! It is high enough that if it stays where it was, I will need to call my doctor.
Thank you for the scripture! I feel like I got to constantly remind myself that God keeps His promises.
Guess what? The church is more than a group of people that meets in a building once a week. There's a church right here on this thread! We can create our own Pen Pals thread to encourage one another as a little church. It's really sad that that so many professing Christians don't live the Christian life well and make people like you feel unwelcome and hurt. Would you and anyone else on this thread like to start a Pen Pals thread?
@jesusredeemedme2425 Can you start a church pen pals thread? I can't copy and paste tags.
I’m sorry that you’re going through that, may I ask, what are people misunderstanding you about? I’ll definitely keep you in my prayers. We can trust Gods promises because
Hebrews. 6:18
So God has given both his promise and his oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us.
@RickAshley123 That is a very good question but not an easy one to answer. The reason why it is hard to answer is because I can't open up someone's brain and look inside it. All I can do is observe the way these people behave around me. The way they pass me over, as if I mean nothing to them. Or if I try to reach out, the way they act as if that means nothing. I understand the world acting like this. But I feel that Christians should be better.
@tryingtosurvive2024 I forgot to thank you for praying for me! Yes right now I need prayer.
You’re much welcome 😊
That’s unfortunate I’m sorry to hear that, just know that heaven will not be like this
@RickAshley123 What I am going through is weird. It doesn't just effect me, it also effects my Dad and Mom. More my Dad and I than my Mom. My Mom has some Christian ladies that she stays in contact with. Another thing I don't understand is my own work place. I forget if I mentioned this or not. I'm a second shift janitor for a school. I have worked there for 22 years now! There are still some teachers there that used to be friendly to me. Just in that past 3 years they are not friendly to me anymore, and I don't have a clue what I did! Last year I had a Kitchen lady turn on me. I nearly lost my job over it. Her and I used to get along good for many years, and just out of the blue everything went bad. You can see why I feel that I need prayer.