Anyone know how to build up self esteem?
So a long time ago I went through a very hard period where some ex friends of mine turned on me and started treating me badly. It took a while to recover and I'm still not really 100%. I still have weaknesses and certain triggers, and honestly my brain just wants to escape into my books and stories and never come out.
Here's the thing: I want to make a story about what happened to me during that time. It's not actually about them, but I've seen the pattern of what happened to me happening to other people too, and it feels like an epidemic. I want to publish the story to show what's culturally wrong with America and what needs to change.
My issue is the arguments and controversy. Once I'm published I know those people are going to come back to haunt me and try to bully me again. Or even strangers on the internet are going to troll or fight or bully me over what happened. But I know it will only hurt me if I'm still "hurt" over the bully's comments and if my self esteem is already low. Has anyone rebuilt their self esteem after trauma? Have you undone the damage and gotten a healthy, happy and strong view of yourself?
@HidaYasu
The exact same thing happened to me before so listen to me here.
First up I want to talk about healing. I may not be a healed person over all but in terms of those types of situation I'm in a descent place. You gotta remember the only person in this world who knows you is you. Everyone will tell their perspective, that includes those punks u were talkin bout. Ppl will try to be trolls and bullys, but the key to that is good self esteem
For that u gotta realize wat makes you you. In terms of self esteem, you gotta realize that as long as you continue down this path to and working hard (and smart lol), you will rise above all of those challenges, which in this case includes all those low vibrational ppl. As long as you are able to stick up for yourself wit confidence, they lost, and pu listing a book is an absolutely amazing way of doing that
I may not be able to tell you directly, but I will tell you wst I did and realized. I realized that people kept on harassing me because I was different. If you are different, whether how you talk, walk, look, etc, you will be judged, which is very much a problem in America. The greatest way to heal yourself is to help other ppl. Not only would u make a book to help ppl in America, but around the world too. I know can be hard to ignore these thoughts rn, but I promise to you it all works out.
Have I undone the damage? Not quite yet, but I'm on track. Ppl thinks it's more important to be healed, and while it is very important, it's important you know the route to get their because that is the hardest part.
I am really interested about this book u r making, and I'm sure it will be great!! Everything will work out, and remember that all ppl need some healing ππ€πππ
@HidaYasu gives you a giant tiny hug β€ yeah! Writing about your struggles and feelings, would help other people. But you have to protect yourself from harm too β€ I would hope oneday I'll be able to tell my story and some hard truths, people should be aware off. But it's not safe. Remember safety first. Please look after yourself
This might sound really weird but something random I have been doing that kind of helps is talking to myself (in my mind) in kind of a baby voice to reassure myself about things when the unkind thoughts towards myself are happening. I try to make it as ridiculous sounding as possible like when Iβm talking to a child or puppy or kitten just to reinforce in my brain that all I need to do for that kind of affection is exist and nothing else. It kind of helps cheer me up at the same time by being kinda goofy lol.
@pinkOrange5011
NGL, I'm not sure I'd be able to concentrate enough for this. And tbh, It's not the thoughts that trouble me, but people's comments. Like online or irl and such. And at the time I don't really have the ability to "sit and think to myself in baby talk". This may be good advice for downtime though, so I appreciate it.
So... I finally "let go" of someone today. It was the ex friend who spearheaded everything. I realized deep down I was still seeking her "approval" after all these years. And the problem is, I don't think I got this way naturally, I think it was the trauma. Because her opinion of me basically decided my environment and how people would treat me (since she started the bad treatment and whatnot).
I feel sick. Like literally ill. It's like something "released" in my brain, but it's making me nauseous. I hate relying on anyone, and I never wanted to be dependent on anyone either, so this almost feels like a slap to the face. I have tried to move on for so many years, and in a way I'm happy? But in another I'm upset. Because I feel "weak" for realizing I was still looking for "love" or "approval" from this person who treated me so badly. I'm so mad this was the reason I couldn't get her out of my head or was always worried about her. I feel like they (all the bullies) won.
I know I needed to realize this, because I'm still going to publish what happened to me, because I feel like it's important. I'm just sad it took this long.