how can I deal with my main trigger still around?
My mothers ex husband sexually abused me all throughout highschool and after now that I live with my gf he drives by multiple times a day idk why he feels the need but It gives me a lot of flashbacks which cause me to want to cut more I wish he would just go away :"(
I really sympathise with you here, I experienced a similar situation and I never felt safe. After much brain storming and a lot of courage I packed up and moved towns, it was the best decision I ever made. I'm trying to think of a good course if action for you here but sexual abuse and the triggering effects are different for everyone. Have you ever spoke to a therapist?
I see one weekly now unless I get screwed over by a ride That 50 min session really helps and I feel comfortable and trust him but once I'm out of the office idk what going to happen, I'm really putting a lot of effort into self-help and bettering myself just sometimes with those triggers and me fighting with my gf I feel stuck.
I have to agree that in this case you are probably right, and i think its sadistic of this person to torture you this way. Continue to speak to your therapist and carry on with your self help, you are doing a great job and are clearly an amazing, strong person to have made it through this.
thank you so much, I really don't think I give myself enough credit
You are very welcome! you are such a brave person! I know how horrible this situation is, sexual abuse is bad enough without having to relive it due to flashbacks. I really hope this situation gets better for you, with some hard work it might not be a trigger anymore, unfortunately this is something you will have to do for yourself as it is unsafe to talk to or approach this person. Keep yourself safe and if you feel threatened or he tries to enter your home don't be afraid to call the police. Keep up the good work. You can do this
I keep that In mind I'm even taking a online self-help college course on anxiety depression and anger It helps me get through the days I can't see my therapist. I really want to help other people too that's why I really like this site being able to relate to people that have been in the same situation.
In a way its a relief to know other people understand and have experienced the same things, abuse can make you feel like an outcast, but it is more common than you think. Well done for studying up and trying to improve yourself, its a big commitment but you ate clearly doing so well. Be sure to talk to your gf about how you are feeling and be honest with her, is she aware of the situation?
I'm sorry to hear that, keep reaching out to people, we are here for you every step of the way.