Post Trauma Identity -Who Are We Now?

When someone experiences sexual trauma(s), they may question their sense of self. They may start doubting their abilities and sense of worth. Trauma has a way of shaking us to the very core of who we are as a person

Our body screams with emotional and physical tension and pain. We might be enraged, guilt, unable to sleep and confused about the trauma. If we went through sexual trauma as a child, our innocence and our childhood feel stolen. We don’t know how to understand our present and we can’t imagine a positive future. It can be helpful to remember that at that time, we weren’t equipped to cope with sexual trauma happening. We must remember to be patient with ourselves

We define our identities based on our life stories and our interactions with each other, our goals, purposes and direction. Our sense of self is dynamic and might change with time. If we experience success in a part of life, it might boost our sense of identity. If we experience failure in a part of life, it might lower our sense of identity

Trauma can disrupt this sense of identity in unpredictable ways

Going through repeated sexual trauma as a child or adult, we give up our sense of integrity to survive and cope with the traumatic events. We lose a sense of control and fall in a state of helplessness and vulnerability. We disconnect from our integral self. So many emotions build up as we attempt to deal with the trauma. Emotions of anger, fear, sadness, grief, guilt, blame, self-reproach, and a mixture of these

If the repeated sexual trauma happened over a long period of time, we might feel that it has shaped our identity and sense of worth. It might seem to be impacting all decisions we make and we wonder how would I be like if it wasn’t for the trauma? Will I be making the same decsions in life? We do not want to be defined by our trauma but sometimes it can feel like we are. We find that certain things that were seemingly normal to us before, seems to trigger us now and brings flashbacks. We might feel changed

I think it is ok to feel the way that we do. There isn’t any right or wrong when it comes to how to deal with the aftermath. When it feels like trauma has shaped our identities, it can be helpful to remember that at the core our identity is not a product of our trauma and we are not defined by it. We are still a human and trying our best to be cope with something that's not our faults