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clare7199
24 100,697 M Moving Swiftly
PathStep 154 Compassion hearts2,934 Forum posts150 Forum upvotes349 Current upvotes349 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2024 Member sinceApril 17, 2020
Bio

Wear your strongest self now,
Chin up from the stormy sorrow,
Rowing your boat through an unnerving sea,
Hope in the eyes as far as one can see,
Learning to ride the tides of memories,
Someday within my grasp will be my destiny




Recent forum posts
Eating today *TW*
Trauma Support / by clare7199
Last post
 November 13th
...See more I ate a few grapes today which is a big deal for me because eating food is very triggering due to trauma. I've to use the feeding tube. I think I like fruits sometimes. They're interesting. I never had fruits in my childhood and didn't know 
Tube feeding *TW*
Trauma Support / by clare7199
Last post
 October 26th
...See more *TW for food repulsion and abuse* I recently was put on tube feeding because I got severely underweight. I've struggled quite a lot with food and trying to eat due to past traumas associated with food. The food textures really overwhelms me and makes me want to throw up. It's like my brain freezes. I've to go to some sessions now with my nurse to learn more about how to live with and manage tube feeding and for hospital checkups. So far it's been hard managing with tube feeding and something like a plastic feeling attached to me 
Post Trauma Identity -Who Are We Now?
Trauma Support / by clare7199
Last post
 April 16th, 2021
...See more When someone experiences sexual trauma(s), they may question their sense of self. They may start doubting their abilities and sense of worth. Trauma has a way of shaking us to the very core of who we are as a person Our body screams with emotional and physical tension and pain. We might be enraged, guilt, unable to sleep and confused about the trauma. If we went through sexual trauma as a child, our innocence and our childhood feel stolen. We don’t know how to understand our present and we can’t imagine a positive future. It can be helpful to remember that at that time, we weren’t equipped to cope with sexual trauma happening. We must remember to be patient with ourselves We define our identities based on our life stories and our interactions with each other, our goals, purposes and direction. Our sense of self is dynamic and might change with time. If we experience success in a part of life, it might boost our sense of identity. If we experience failure in a part of life, it might lower our sense of identity Trauma can disrupt this sense of identity in unpredictable ways Going through repeated sexual trauma as a child or adult, we give up our sense of integrity to survive and cope with the traumatic events. We lose a sense of control and fall in a state of helplessness and vulnerability. We disconnect from our integral self. So many emotions build up as we attempt to deal with the trauma. Emotions of anger, fear, sadness, grief, guilt, blame, self-reproach, and a mixture of these If the repeated sexual trauma happened over a long period of time, we might feel that it has shaped our identity and sense of worth. It might seem to be impacting all decisions we make and we wonder how would I be like if it wasn’t for the trauma? Will I be making the same decsions in life? We do not want to be defined by our trauma but sometimes it can feel like we are. We find that certain things that were seemingly normal to us before, seems to trigger us now and brings flashbacks. We might feel changed I think it is ok to feel the way that we do. There isn’t any right or wrong when it comes to how to deal with the aftermath. When it feels like trauma has shaped our identities, it can be helpful to remember that at the core our identity is not a product of our trauma and we are not defined by it. We are still a human and trying our best to be cope with something that's not our faults
Responses In Sexual Abuse ***Trigger Warning, please proceed with caution***
Trauma Support / by clare7199
Last post
 May 25th, 2021
...See more Sexual abuse can have an impact on the survivor’s sense of autonomy. They may experince physical or physiological responses during the sexual abuse. I think it is one of the things that doesn’t get talked about often because of the fear of guilt and shame experienced by the survivor It is not the survivor’s fault for experiencing biological, physical or physiological reactions/responses during sexual abuse Many survivors of childhood sexual abuse and adult sexual abuse may experience pleasurable biological responses to their abuse, along with the emotional distress and pain. This can be very confusing for a child and even as an adult. The survivors may feel shame and guilt and a distrust towards their own body. It may feel like their body have betrayed them. Such responses are not the survivor’s fault. They are simply the biological and physiological responses to the sexual abuse that the survivor experienced Any physical arousals in response to abuse are physiological reactions. It is not something that the survivor had control over. In these situations as a survivor, our bodies just react because of how they are biologically built. For example like panicked breathing during a threatening situation or sweating after exercising Experiencing physical arousals or biological responses are not expressions of pleasure or indicators of consent in sexual abuse A common analogy is of being tickled. If you are being tickled, it can be fun under the right circumstances or can feel awful in other cases. Either way, it can be hard or impossible to stop laughing when tickled by someone. Laughter doesn’t mean that you actually like or want to be tickled. It’s just the way your body reacted to tickling It is ok to feel the way that we do after experiencing something traumatic. It can be really confusing, difficult and painful to go through it. It can bring about feelings of guilt and shame. Everyone processes trauma at their own pace, which is ok! It can be helpful to remind ourselves that it wasn’t our fault. We have to remind ourselves that our biological or physiological responses don’t invalidate the fact that the abuse that happened was wrong. Whatever the physical, biological or physiological responses that we experienced during sexual abuse, does not make what happened as ok. It does NOT mean that we deserved being sexually abused
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