Post Trauma Identity -Who Are We Now?
When someone experiences sexual trauma(s), they may question their sense of self. They may start doubting their abilities and sense of worth. Trauma has a way of shaking us to the very core of who we are as a person
Our body screams with emotional and physical tension and pain. We might be enraged, guilt, unable to sleep and confused about the trauma. If we went through sexual trauma as a child, our innocence and our childhood feel stolen. We don’t know how to understand our present and we can’t imagine a positive future. It can be helpful to remember that at that time, we weren’t equipped to cope with sexual trauma happening. We must remember to be patient with ourselves
We define our identities based on our life stories and our interactions with each other, our goals, purposes and direction. Our sense of self is dynamic and might change with time. If we experience success in a part of life, it might boost our sense of identity. If we experience failure in a part of life, it might lower our sense of identity
Trauma can disrupt this sense of identity in unpredictable ways
Going through repeated sexual trauma as a child or adult, we give up our sense of integrity to survive and cope with the traumatic events. We lose a sense of control and fall in a state of helplessness and vulnerability. We disconnect from our integral self. So many emotions build up as we attempt to deal with the trauma. Emotions of anger, fear, sadness, grief, guilt, blame, self-reproach, and a mixture of these
If the repeated sexual trauma happened over a long period of time, we might feel that it has shaped our identity and sense of worth. It might seem to be impacting all decisions we make and we wonder how would I be like if it wasn’t for the trauma? Will I be making the same decsions in life? We do not want to be defined by our trauma but sometimes it can feel like we are. We find that certain things that were seemingly normal to us before, seems to trigger us now and brings flashbacks. We might feel changed
I think it is ok to feel the way that we do. There isn’t any right or wrong when it comes to how to deal with the aftermath. When it feels like trauma has shaped our identities, it can be helpful to remember that at the core our identity is not a product of our trauma and we are not defined by it. We are still a human and trying our best to be cope with something that's not our faults
Thank you for sharing this with us.
@clare7199
"We are still a human and trying our best to be cope with something that's not our faults"
Thank you for sharing this post. Definitely feeling like I've lost my sense of self from all the repeated emotional abuse and other traumas I've experienced through life, especially lately. Who am I? Another human trying their best.
@HunterRose
thank you for reading it. i hear you, it can be alot to cope with when sense of self feels very much empty or clouded by traumatic events. you're trying you best and i think that's to be proud of 💟
TW.....Clare, thx for posting this as I'm new here and I'm struggling terribly with shame, guilt, identity, CPtsd depression ,anxiety. Who the *****k am I ??? I have no idea , abused as young as 2 and then again later in my 40s. Seriously I feel like I don't know myself as I faked my entire life ppl pleasing as a trauma response from such a young age. Fear ran my entire life and all the decisions I made. I'm lucky I'm not dead. Thx for the support. Ppl in my circle have no clue about my pain. I have no real close connections because my wall of fear kept everyone out. I don't share because my story is tough to hear. Thx, ABB
@amiableBlackberry92
thank u for being here! shame, guilt and the confusing feelings that come with after experiencing trauma are very difficult to talk about or to cope with. u are so brave for sharing here. u did not deserve to be hurt in any of those ways. i understand the people pleasing trauma response. i think that is something that gets conditioned in us in childhood abuse. we may want to please our abuser so that they don't hurt us more. it's something i think i did. trauma really can influence so much of us. it's something i struggle with too. it can make one feel reserved if people around us aren't understanding of our pain. your feelings are valid and your pain deserve to be understood and listened to, when u feel comfortable 
Clare, thank you for hearing me. I struggle because I'm alone in a very small circle of ppl,1 friend, family. My CPTSD and all that goes with it caused my job loss last year. I couldn't take the bullying/harassment I dealt with on top of my child hood abuse and recent assault. So I have had alot of changes in the last 3 years and my struggles have been excruciating and alone except for my therapist, & 7 cups. My story is hard to hear. I don't want my small group to look at me differently. They will , it's just human. 💜ABB