No one blames my abuser

@Basilstorm I am so sorry that you went through that for whatever it's worth. Your feelings are valid and it's okay not to forgive someone if you can't bring yourself to or don't want to. It's your choice to forgive or not and not doing so doesn't make you a bad person, especially not over something like this. Maybe your abuser didn't understand what he was doing was wrong and maybe that should be a mitigating circumstance on how it was handled, but the pain that what he did caused you is still real and serious and you deserve understanding and support. I don't know that I'm in any position to offer anything more than what I hope is validation, but it might not be a bad idea to sit the people involved down and ask them to listen without interrupting and tell them that you were hurt, that you're still dealing with it, and that you wish they'd be supportive rather than acting like you should just get over it. It might not be a bad idea to talk to a counselor if you can as well. Again, I'm really sorry that you didn't get the support you deserve through that, and it's okay to feel the way you do. Just don't let the pain and trauma of all that eat you up inside to the point you lose yourself. Stay strong.

@D2K4 thank you for your kind words. i'm autistic but i'm extremely high functioning (if aspergers was still considered a separate diagnosis i would probably have that) so i do understand that he didn't mean to hurt me, but my entire family seems to think that i wasn't abused simply because he didn't mean to abuse me. i actually scheduled an appointment with my therapist at school to talk about it, i've never really told anyone because they always end up siding with my abuser, it's just so nice to have someone listen to me, it means a lot to me.

@Basilstorm Glad I could help a little. It's great that you're going to talk to your therapist about this. Might not be a bad idea to see if, after a little time processing with it, they'd be okay with bringing the relevant family members in so you can tell them how all this has impacted you with a supportive third party there.

Some people might tell you that forgiving is always the best way to overcome pain, but it's ok to feel like you simply can't forgive some things. Regardless of his intentions and awareness of the situation, you have the right to feel mad about it. There's no wrong feeling, any way to process it is valid and it's ok to feel like you. It's also ok and more than understandable that you feel so bad about how people reacted: they ignored your suffering in a completely unfair and awful way. What matters the most now is for you to be able to do anything in your power to feel better. If you want to let them know how you were hurt and how they contributed to make you feel even worse by neglecting your feelings, you're free to do it. If you want to cut those people out of your life completely, you're free to do that to. Talking about it with someone you trust, trying counseling/therapy to let things out of your head, taking care of yourself in any way you can... These are all just suggestions, you're the only one who can decide what's best for you. Remember that anything you're feeling is valid, there are no wrong feelings when it comes to this kind of trauma. also, remember that you deserve to take care of yourself and be taken care of, you're worth it, and you deserve happiness.