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D2K4
1 18,758 M Progress Road 7
PathStep 70 Compassion hearts477 Forum posts22 Forum upvotes21 Current upvotes21 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2024 Member sinceFebruary 25, 2015
Recent forum posts
Married and struggling with intimacy issues.
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by D2K4
Last post
 August 24th, 2022
...See more I really didn’t know where else to post this and I’m going to try to get it all out without it being rambling and incoherent. Here goes. I’ve been in a long term relationship since 2009. Today we are married. My spouse is in his early 40s and I’m in my mid going on late 30s. Our life seems mostly good except for one issue. The last several years I have not been all that interested in sex. For that matter, we seem to have different tastes in how we show intimacy with each other. Now let me stress here that it’s not that I’m completely uninterested in sex. These days I just don’t feel a lot of desire or need for it. It’s not that I don’t love my spouse by any means, he just seems to want Gomez Addams level affection and that is just not who I am. There’s nothing wrong with me physically. At his insistence I had my testosterone checked-it was fine. I take Lexapro for depression and anxiety I’ve had since forever and feel great taking it. Asked my doctor if this could be a side effect of it at my spouse’s insistence-no, probably not, because there are times I can perform just fine and get geared up to do so. It’s just not nearly so often as my spouse would like. I do have sleep apnea and I’m currently getting used to a CPAP so that could be part of it, but if it is my spouse has no patience for that work in progress as I struggle to get used to my mask. And let me stress, this bothers my spouse a lot. He spends a lot of time sullen and depressed. No matter how much I work at it or how often we talk it never seems to be any better. We had online therapy where the therapist suggested we try to have sex once a week. We did that for awhile and then missed a couple of months and you would have thought it was the end of the world. I try my hardest to be caring and attentive but everything I do seems to be greeted with “you used to…” or “it’s been X amount of time since…” And those are far from the worst moments. The worst are the screaming fights in the middle of the night because we didn’t have sex like he wanted where doors get slammed and there’s a lot of crying. Or the one time where I went to the bathroom and came back to find him awake and angrily accusing me of masturbating without him (in fairness, he only did this once and apologized the next morning; I share only to show how toxic this has been). It’s to the point where I feel like I’m constantly in a pressure cooker and can’t unwind. I walk on pins and needles around my spouse and when he’s upset my first question is what did I do or not do now? I am who I am and by and large I’m happy and comfortable in my own skin, something it took me a long time to get to in life. I’m tired of feeling like I’m being shamed or that there’s something wrong with me for not wanting sex frequently. I’m tired of feeling like the bad guy for not giving him full access to my body when I want space or just don’t feel like doing anything. And while I understand he has his needs to and I’m happy to try and meet him in the middle it feels as if my best is never good enough. The rest of our life together is generally happy and comfortable. I’ve raised the question of if he wanted to split up several times now just because I don’t know what else to do and he repeatedly says he doesn’t want to. I’m getting stressed out of my mind by this though and don’t know what to do now. He’s clearly unhappy, I’m trying my best to make things better, but it just seems like it always circles back to him yelling and crying and me struggling to figure out what I did or didn’t do and how to make it better. I honestly don’t know how much more of this I can take.
Ark Survival Evolved
Hobby Zone / by D2K4
Last post
 May 6th, 2020
...See more So does anyone here play Ark Survival Evolved to unwind? I genuinely find the game relaxing (now that I'm a higher level where I don't have to worry about dying every time a raptor or something shows up!) and enjoy playing with friends on our private server when they can manage to make time for it (a rare event these days sadly). We've each got bases on the Island that match our personalities nicely and a couple that we share together. Mine is a small, rustic stone house (that looks a bit like a trailer if I'm being honest lol) with no electricity, an industrial grill on the back, and a small sheep pen set up next to it. It's by the hidden lake in the north so I get to enjoy my isolated valley in relative serenity, fish, and generally enjoy a tranquil existence under the watchful gaze of a tough mama T-Rex named Rhea. It's a great way to unwind!
Activist Burnout leading to Anxiety/Depression
General Support / by D2K4
Last post
 March 3rd, 2020
...See more Hi all, not sure if this is the place to post this or not but here goes. I'm politically active (on the progressive side of things) and I am really, really, really to the point of being worn out and just distraught with the state of the world. I'm still going and doing whatever I can but I'm really finding it taxing on my mental health, exhausting in general, and, honestly, I'm finding myself getting to the point where I really just don't like people in general and I feel like that's a big red flag that I need to check myself and at the very least find a place or a person to vent to. A really great listener here (Ben19-highly recommend) helped out a lot by giving me an ear but after talking with him I really think I need to find a support group, official or unofficial, and probably a site or something that posts nothing but good news to remind me that the world isn't totally going mad around us. Again, I don't know that this is the place to post this or if I'm just chasing smoke here on this one, but if anyone can point me in the right direction or is going through similar stuff I would very much like to hear from you.
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