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My daughter

Dormevil1213 February 11th, 2021

So today I just found out 4years ago, my daughter was molested and forced to suck a 18 year old woman, that I allowed in my home. In my car... I didn’t think this person would do this because she has a mindset of a 10-12 year old My daughter said exactly how it happened and where. I am hurt because I did my protect my daughter and I was always working , maybe if I wasn’t doing doubles . I would have noticed signs and on top of this my daughter told this to my husband so now I have to act like I don’t know. What can I do?

3
clare7199 February 15th, 2021

@Dormevil1213

being violated by someone we thought we trusted, can be a very hard feeling to go through and to process. i'm sorry that it happened with your daughter. it can be easy to fall back into thinking that what would've happened if u had not done a double shift. i still think alot about what would've happened if i had done things different and prevented my trauma somehow

it's not your fault that it happened with your daughter. it's not your daughter's fault that it happened. it doesn't make u a bad parent or a bad person

your daughter might be needing support from u, at her own pace and however she feels comfortable. it's very easy to fall into self blame so your daughter might find it comforting to hear positive affirmations that it wasn't her fault. it's a very upsetting experience to go through and your daughter might need time and to feel more in control of the situation. at the same time, as a parent, it can be very hard for u to see your child go through this. it wasn't your fault 💟

faithfulSquare4400 February 16th, 2021

I am a little confused on why you cannot tell your husband, but if it is possible I would really recommend talking about it with him. Having each other to confide in was really helpful for my parents when I came out with my abuse, and for legal reasons or future legal action it might be best to rip the bandaid off and talk with him sooner rather than later. If for whatever reason it is unsafe or difficult to do so I would highly recommend you talk with someone in person who has also gone through this experience.

1 reply
Dormevil1213 OP February 17th, 2021

I think you misunderstood my husband knows because she told him at the time and not me. And I had to pretend he didn’t tell me, what was said to him. Follow-up She finally told me what happened and we talked, I am trying now to help her through this process. And hopefully she will feel more comfortable to talk

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