This is my truma (tw: emotional abuse, neglect, and possable sexual abuse)
Hi everyone. I know I have shared my trauma from last year but I want to share this story to not just share but this for me to be vulnerable about my experience.
So being that I have autism, I grew up with neglect and emotional abuse due to how my thinking worked and how I struggled with communicating. I was a subject of emotional and neglected abuse as when the school thought I had ADHD, they decided that me taking medicine will help. But over the years, the school system neglected me... educational and soical as I did even learn how to write better till college. I still have flashbacks of times when I have these moments where adults... to me felt like just abused me by just... neglecting me... these were adults... and the students were no better... isolating me, gas lighting me, even pretending i didn't exist... I even had a ex friend who was trying to see if he like guys or not... and we did have nsfw stuff but he flat out cut me out after 2 nights of passion. I felt so heavy broken that I felt used... like a toy... it reminded me as I was 10 years old, I feel in love with my first friend bit then he moved away almost like he just left for no reason, then a neighbor teenager (10 or 12 at this point) showed me porn and idk why but I felt as he wanted something... I was not touched but it almost wish I was abused more but I know now that is not good thinking.
Even now as I move from my past and heal my trauma with my inner child. I felt as I was just made for abuse but even if I tell myself "you are worthy of love" it still counters with how words of love don't match with their actions... the only thing I ever wanted was just to love and be loved in return
@Vivikun9 Thank you for sharing your story with us. It takes courage to open up about such difficult moments in your life. It's clear that you've been through a lot, and the emotional and neglectful abuse you endured is deeply challenging.
Healing from these traumatic experiences is a journey, and it's positive to hear that you are working on healing your inner child. Remember that you are indeed worthy of love and kindness, and you deserve to be loved in return. Your desire for love and connection is entirely valid.
If you ever feel the need to talk more or seek support, consider reaching out to a psychologist who can provide guidance and help you navigate your healing process. You're not alone in this, and there are people who care about your well-being. Take care 💜
@Mya000
Thank you. I have been with my current therapist for a whole year. We will keep working on tools to help me heal through my trauma.
It's been interesting being able to see the pain that I endured for so long that I don't share my story out of pity but more empowering. I am in my prime and I suffered. But love is still with me. It was not my fault
@Vivikun9 I'm glad to hear that you've been with your psychologist for a whole year and that you're working on healing from your trauma. It's important to recognize the strength it takes to face your past and find empowerment in your story. If you ever need someone to listen, feel free to reach out. Wishing you a lovely day!
