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I have no support at home
AthenaNeeners May 18th, 2023
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I am a recovering trauma survivor from CPTSD and I have been in intensive therapy since January. When I started this, my husband and I had a lot of conversations about what I might need and how he could be supportive. He was enthusiastic about providing that support at the time, but......then he didn't. In fact, he's, whether he realizes it or not, actively triggering me and making things worse. It doesn't matter what resources I send him, he's just impatient and doesn't listen to me, or he gets angry really easily. It's gotten to a point in which I don't feel comfortable sharing any of my emotions with him anymore. I don't have anyone safe to talk to and try to process my experience outside of the therapy office. I don't do vulnerability with anyone else because of said trauma.


I'm at my wits end. Now I have to mask at home so he doesn't have to deal with me, or I have to wait until he is asleep to cry and mourn and process my pain. I'm so tired and worn out and just DONE, you know?

3
uniqueGrace8272 May 18th, 2023
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@AthenaNeeners

hey athena i am sorry about your situation. Your feelings and emotions are valid. Whenever we are in trouble or pain we expect our loved ones to support and understand us . You just want to be able to talk to your husband which is okay. I hope that your husband understands this soon :(. I just wanted to say that don’t give up on yourself. You are strong you have survived a lot and you will survive whatever is happening right now .

mytwistedsoul May 18th, 2023
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@AthenaNeeners Hey :) I have tbh - I don't know alot about relationships. Trauma is a different story. Your husband knew about the trauma before you got married? I think alot of times people have good intentions when it comes to wanting to give support. But idk if they realize what all that involves? Maybe he thought that it was a quick fix? Like now that you're in therapy things are all better now? Or that it was a once in a while issue - not an all encompassing one. Often once we start therapy we find more and more things that affected us. We have good days and bad days. Sometimes it seems as though there are more bad days then good

I guess it would probably be pretty hard to talk to him - to point out his behaviors and explain to him? I'm really sorry that he's not more supportive to you. It's not easy having no support where there should be. I hope things get better
amiableBlackberry92 May 22nd, 2023
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@AthenaNeeners

I'm sorry your going through this trauma/ CPTSD . I have been recovering too. I think it's difficult for loved ones to understand what we need from them on the road to healing. And alot of times their reactions can make it worse for us. Husbands want to fix it and if they can't they don't know what to do to help. The situation could be triggering for him in some way. Or he's afraid and doesn't want to express that. He might benefit from therapy too .

In my situation I never shared my trauma with my spouse because I didn't want him to suffer too. I just couldn't tell him.

Personally I have learned a lot from being in therapy for over 5 years now. It's incredibly intricate and educational journey this road to recovery. I am better than I was and I have my ups and downs but it's taken dedication and alot of work to accomplish what I have. Just keep going forward and put yourself first. As you start to heal you will be better able to cope with all the little things that are affected by your new normal.

Hopefully sharing here will help you as it did for me.

ABB 💜


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