Escape Plan
[TRIGGER WARNINGS: Physical & verbal abuse]
Only back temporarily to 7cups...I have not been doing well and have been reliving some of the same things that caused the trauma in the first place. Long story short, I have health issues, had to leave my job and home that was 1,000km+ away, and ended up living in my abusers house, who is an estranged relative I haven't really had much contact with or any at all a few decades or so. But dealing with her is *** and she has already threatened me with physical violence. I have been documenting and recording her whenever she has a meltdown. Furthermore, I have to deal with stopping her from drinking and driving or making idiotic decisions that'll harm other people. She attempts to bully my autistic son, but I always shield him from her.
My health issues sometimes makes it hard to move around, as my heart and chest starts to hurt badly. I have chronic pain from an accident many years ago as well as from something awful my ex-fiancé inflicted onto me. I have attempted to apply for health benefits in new area, but the abuser thinks its unnecessary and won't sign off that I live here because she's against government help and made it more difficult for me... The abuser has attempted to thwart my plans of finding a job as well and keeping me here/isolating me, however...
Luckily, I found a remote job! So hoping to move out by December at the soonest and February at the latest. I already found what state I want to move too, it's affordable, cheap, and will at least put some distance between me and this abuser. I can't even call her "mother". Never felt like it to me growing up, as she used to hit me often and talk down on me, while comparing me to the rest of my brothers since I was "different". There's more to it, but I'll leave it there.
I should be starting the job either next week or sometime in November(with weekly pay!)...I'm just going *** mad being stuck here with her. I don't have a car currently, but planning on getting one once I quietly up and leave this nightmare and hopefully enjoy life a bit more.
@ImpudentIncognito
Congratulations!! You have a plan and are reaching out for help on 7Cups. &Cups has helped me for several years now, and the many wonderful people I've chatted with make a big difference. They speak the same language and then after getting helped on 7cups we can find a purpose by giving back and being a Listener or stay active on the forums trying to cheer people up. I think you have a good plan and are headed in the right direction!!~ Look to your town resources for help finding benefits you are entitled to. Tag me any time.
Blessings, Day
@juliak1968 Thanks, I've been around Cups since 2019, it's been a while. I just needed a break to process some things going on in life but ... [TRIGGER WARNING: weight] It's starting to weigh in on me heavy. Just depressed that my health was better in the past, I was an amateur weightlifter, now I'm struggling to gain weight and keep it up... It fluctuates from normal to underweight. [//END TRIGGER WARNING] The abuser thinks she knows what my health issues are, and I'm worried she's going to poison me with her "medicine" to make me feel better. She doesn't understand my health issues but... Yeah, I'm recording conversations with her (it's legal) and documenting to keep myself safe from here.
But I digress. I guess I came back since things are starting to become more difficult. I left because I worried I'll be stuck in this loop where I come to vent, but not proactive enough in real life. However... I think I'll be back here every once in a while to check in. I just don't have as much of a mental capacity to stay social. I'm trying to make friends right know on social websites, but I'm already feeling overwhelmed. Definitely going to save money for therapy though, that's my plan for maybe in... February, when I'm more settled in new house.
@ImpudentIncognito
Im here if you want to check in from time to time, just tag me. Have a good night!!~
Blessings, Day
@ImpudentIncognito. I am happy to hear that you found a remote job so you can get out of the abusive situation! It also sounds like a good idea to move somewhere which is less expensive. Your escape plan sounds good to me. I’m rooting for you and hoping that you can get away by December or February.
@adventurousBranch3786 Thank you for your kind words, I'm hoping to leave here soon too! I might just make a post once a month with updates? Just to let you guys know when I escaped or if I'm OK. I have a lot of worries in my head, but I'm trying to think through them all logically and dispel it. If the abuser attempts to hurt me, I can always call the cops and document. My son's safety (as well as my own, so I can protect him) is important right now. Whenever she DOES notice me recording, she backs away and spews lies about me. Or when I'm on the phone with my partner (I usually have my headphones on or around my neck). I could have my partner call if I give him a code word, that way I don't alert the abuser.
Just coming up with safety precautions.
@ImpudentIncognito
I am sorry that you have been through this. You are incredibly strong and courageous for sharing your story with everyone. Congratulations for getting a new remote job! Good things will happen to you.
@Aryan270422 Thank you for your kind words! I'm hoping things get better soon. I'm sure once I start working, things will get better.
[TRIGGER WARNING: Physical and verbal abuse]
Just a quick update, but my mother got physical with me recently. It started when my son (who's non-verbal and autistic) had a meltdown tonight, since something triggered him. I tried to calm him down, and she screamed at him to "shut up". I told her she can close her door (she never does) if it's a problem and we ended up getting into a screaming match.
I told her to back away from me, and she taunted and tried to provoke. I recorded the audio (couldn't do the video at the time, was on a phone call...), and grabbed my arms roughly. I pushed her off of me and backed away and she claimed I "hurt her". I wasn't sure if she was going to slap me or swing at my face and room the precaution. My son saw and hit my mother for doing that to me, and she tried grabbing him but he ran back to me.
I tried seeing if my dad could help me and I could stay with him, but he blew me off. I thought about going to the police, but my BF said it would be pointless, and they can't do anything since it's audio and also because this is the only place I'm staying at...with nowhere else to go... He did get grumpy uncalled him, since she lives 17hrs away so I hung up after awhile. But before that, he suggested I try to talk to my childhood friend instead however... I barely reconnected with said friend, and I feel it might be scummy to do, now that I'm back here in this city (she lives less than an hour away). I don't like asking for favours and she also has a full house of kids while being pregnant.
Originally, I was going to move out by January or February, then I thought December, but now I HAVE to move by November for the sake of both my son's and mine physical and mental health. I just have to hold out for a little while. I usually ignore the witch whenever she insults me and complains, it doesn't bother me. But when it comes to my son, I stop her. It seems she does it on purpose to pick a fight with me, just to hold over my head she's "the head of the house" and BS like that.
I'm sick and tired of my ENTIRE family. My oldest brother didn't do much, I had to ask him to please remove my son from the room, so he took him with him there. My other two brothers from out of state I don't talk to either based on some horrible things they've done to me before, and my dad is honestly a deadbeat, with my mother being a complete narcissist, who believes she's entirely flawless, better than everyone, and ALWAYS the victim. She's a terrible person, and none of her coworkers like her. She also makes racist remarks often, and I'm mixed race and hear the stupid *** she says. Tired of it.
Anyways yeah... Still not doing good, BUT I'm moving in the shadows to improve my situation.
@ImpudentIncognito
Sending strength courage and hope!!~
@ImpudentIncognito Yep, it sounds like one of the circles of h€ll, all right. But you have a good plan to get outta there with your son...I'm glad to see it.
As for your abusive relative... If God can't turn her heart, may he turn her ankles so everyone will know her by the way she limps.