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Thoughts

crimsonLime6525 November 12th, 2019

I'm not sure how this is going to go but I should probably give it a try. Don't use my voice very often but I'm choking inside so have to get some of this crap out......

I have survived the first day at my new workplace

why did I have to be the one to move?

scared

what if I am totally useless and mess this place up too?

am I really rubbish at my job? Surely I would have an inclination if I was?

does 19 years service count for nothing? Am I being punished?

lost and alone

I have no one I can turn to

Hard to trust when all you know is hurt and rejection

So much going on inside but it's all jumbled and knotted together

scared I will end up back in the dark place, can't fight it again....

183
ZeppelinsOverhead November 12th, 2019

@crimsonLime6525 Being in a new work environment can be overwhelming, especially when you're already dealing with other hurt. We're here for you, Lime, and we wish you good luck with your new job (: if you ever want to talk, I'll be here!

crimsonLime6525 OP November 13th, 2019

How do you turn your mind off? Make the bad thoughts stop

it hurts

what kind of monster am I?????

i hate myself

Evil

im just a burden to eveyone

i should suffer

why me?

what did I do to deserve this?

1 reply
mytwistedsoul November 13th, 2019

@crimsonLime6525 Hey Lime - I hope I'm not intruding. I'm just sitting with you - if that's ok.

1 reply
crimsonLime6525 OP November 13th, 2019

@mytwistedsoul thank you

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tinycactus809 January 15th, 2020

@crimsonLime6525

*offers lots of hugs, love and support* πŸ’–πŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œ

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dworth257 November 13th, 2019

one day i woke up in a world i didn't recognize

crimsonLime6525 OP November 15th, 2019

I'm no longer strong

I no longer care

i want to give up on me

im not worth it

crimsonLime6525 OP November 16th, 2019

I wonder why someone like me was even born into this world......

1 reply
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November 18th, 2019

@Lime

You do have a purpose for being here that only you can do, it may be hard to see now, but you hang in there till the strong raging winds stop. heartThe sun will shine again believe me things will get better.

crimsonLime6525 OP November 21st, 2019

Empty......

numb......

nothing......

three little words that say so much

pioneeringPrune7965 November 21st, 2019

@crimsonLime6525

It can be scary to think of the dark places in one's mind from the past. But you have moved past those places as you will now. Proof that you are brave.

crimsonLime6525 OP December 1st, 2019

Why me??

dont I deserve a break from it all???

WTF did I ever do so freaking wrong to have everything I even try go wrong

crimsonLime6525 OP December 3rd, 2019

I am going to give up trying to feel like I belong anywhere, nothing I ever do is right, it's all just fucked up!!!

and sorry for the language

3 replies
rationalCup8950 December 4th, 2019

@crimsonLime6525 Are you okay?

December 4th, 2019

@crimsonLime6525

I am so soy things are not going well with you. I understand the feeling of not being able to feel like anything you do is not right. I to have been in your shoes so many times. However Please listen to me, my dear. Sometimes it is or seems to be along time before you can see change coming. I am a true witness that it will CHANGE. You have done a good job of hanging in there and reaching out for support and I am proud of you for that. I want you to know that although I don't know you I care deeply about you and the struggle you are facing right now. So does the members of 7cups. Keep writing your thoughts here, keep telling us how you are feeling and know that we care and that you matter and you are important. If you would try something for me, every time that critic's voice begins to tell you all these bad thoughts and making you feel alone and nothing is right. Tell that voice to shut up, tell it that it can not keep you bound nor continue to torment you.

Please just ty it for several days and let us know how you are. Please!heart

1 reply
crimsonLime6525 OP December 5th, 2019

@scarletPear1945 thank you for your kind words. I will try

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