On the issue of Love & Hate, it is so easy to hide, to learn to hate takes very little. To know that you can hate with such ease, is your protection from it. To hate ones self is an easy thing if taught, it will be the strongest and most stable belief to hold. Regardless of its worth, no matter how we are later told it is now wrong. Shame to not get rid of its teaching in the first. So, lets talk of love, to love ones self is nonsense, to me at least it makes little sense. Which is the problem to fix ourselves, assuming we are actually broken. Would it not be better or different to start then with a different thing? Perhaps to like ones self. One small act of kindness shown to you is perhaps the start of many others that will one day achieve a thing which could hold wonderfulness. Treating us as compassionate as we do others, then surely that will be a true measure of our hearts.

On the issue of Happiness people see happiness as a goal not knowing that it is much like light. It seems only in the moment, it cannot be preserved for a later time or created away from the energy that creates it. If it is not experienced at this moment, then it will be lost forever. Happiness is never a goal, but rather a thing which can help make this moment even just a little brighter. Ah, it could be felt afterwards you say, replied with confidence, not unless you experienced it in the moment. Once it is allowed into each moment, the light and dark will exist at the same time, the same moment. Never work towards joy rather let it be experienced. There will be moments of complete nights with no moon or stars. Still, when the glimpses of light can be found hold onto it, that is the thing that will scare away the dark. Sometimes it needs a little help in its creation, but there are some ideas about doing such thing.

On the issue of Honesty it comes at great risk, it has the power to harm or hurt or it can bring relief and the start of a new process... A better one, so let me say here I hope it is with honesty, I write, the things in my head are nothing more or less. Written in the hope that it does not harm or hurt. Written hopefully not in condemnation rather allowing a collective action which spurs the moment forward. Forward to a better place, a more honest place.

On the issue of Religion this might be a surprise, but it should not, all religions hurt people by definition they are designed as such. It can produce that easy hate for no other reason than to hate someone you do not know and have not met. Still, think for a moment, as we all should from time to time that my religion to which I hold in low value is nothing but the suppression of girls. Ah, now to the disengagement of your reading this. So perhaps you under not knowing better went to church, the Bible is God then god does not like us girls. We are trapped in, since I know that the bible, at least the versions I have read, that sex is more common with it than acts of compassion. For this reason, all girls must be given the choice, to either accept or complete with all rejections a religion which fails to be good. This of course is a privilege I have but more importantly a decision to which I can make without recourse of punishment, isolation or distaste. Hate is difficult to unlearn.

On the issue of Anger when all preconditions are met, perhaps more which I am sure is the case, then anger itself is not only useful but necessary. Still, it is better to be collectively angry than individually suffering from it. The way things can change is when we are all angry. That is a hopeful expectation. Perhaps one day it will be met and decided upon when we notice that we need to be angry. That would be a good day.

@AmalieAnne

You'll always hold a special place on my heart Ames, just wanted to say that x

I thought that I would try to tell a story but in a different way. Hopefully it will work!

Their Stories

Introduction [Instalment one]
This story begins like many others, it starts with a random group of people who have never even met before, that is until today. True, some relationships are held between them, but if it werent for this significant event, they would most likely have never even thought about each other, let alone been a meaningful part of each others lives. This is the story of how in a strange, peculiar sort of way they became part of a group. Although at this point, they dont yet know that during the next few weeks, they will learn that shortly after their first meeting they share something most of us have never even bothered to think about. A single event that would bring them together and provided an intersection in its own sort of way. I could of course tell you all about this significant event and what it ends up meaning to them all. Still, that would not make me a very good story teller would it.

It should be of no shock that as the story teller, that I have met them all. Not only during the following incident and aftermath, but also in a special way Ive always known them, even before they came into existence. I understand the desire, perhaps even the wish, to know them all right now. For reasons that Im unable to share, it is just not possible at this moment in time. I will tell you about each of them of course or should I say, the ones that Ive arbitrarily decided to tell. Perhaps the most interesting or just the ones I like more. Needless to say, this is a story of certain individuals. It might not be the most coherent method of telling a story, my wish though is that you mostly get to know them more than getting to know what happens to them from this point onwards. Although that is important too.

Dont be mistaken, this might not be a good story at all, nevertheless if you stay with it, there is a chance you might come to know & even like one of these people. Although it is entirely possible that you will not find a single facet or attribute in any of them worth your time. Still, that really does not matter because these are their stories rather than mine or yours. These stories could be seen as a form of hope, human endurance or even just plain old determination however it's not! I guess at this point things should move on. So, lets start…

Todays date is Thursday 6th August 2020 and this group of people are all about to board a plane. This plane will never land in the conventional manner, rather you might say it lands in the most horrific way possible. As you might come to know and perhaps even expect most of the stories are missing. These missing accounts are the ones who knew that they were about to die and then they did. Im sorry to give you such news right from the start, but at least its honest and it is something important to understand. Today 357 people, including the crew, board a plane, it will take off, where it is heading is really not the point, neither is it worth knowing. All you do need to know is that after four hours of flight the plane will crash. I feel the need to give you some sense of hope, sadly all I can offer is this: At this point, when the plane crashes, you will meet some of the passengers.

They will each recall who they are and what happened. Each of them telling you remarkably different things because they are remarkably different people. Each story starts at the end of the crash and each story ends with the same ending, although it might not appear so at first. Having known them and gotten to see what they did after the crash, is yet another way of proving how remarkably different they are. This is just the introduction and a warning, that this might not be the most pleasant set of stories to read. If I could be so bold, I think that they are still worth reading.

Soon you will understand what I mean when I say by me sharing their accounts and you reading them, it serves as remembering them. You might want to change the endings, but sadly you will fail, what has been written cannot be changed. Before one gives up all possibilities of changing destiny, one might consider the power of the human spirit, even free will, these can be strong influences in the universe we happen to inhabit. Still, no matter how hard you try against destiny, you will be disappointed, their fate has already found its own way to where it needs to be.

Now Im not sure who will start, although each person will come forward in their own time, when they are ready. I dont know who will be first or who will be last, but each in their turn they will tell us. What starts now is my testimonies of them and what happened as a result of the crash.

Their stories: installment two

Lucie

Lucie awakened on what an observer could easily describe as part of the wing bobbing in the clear warm ocean, after the crash. Her head hurt and her first thought was to a single action, to look around for the older couple she naturally assumed to be grandparents, who smiled at her when she walked past them trying to find her seat. Still, she could not find them as she tried to move her head around all she could see were bits of the plane, even with some confusion a few small fires. Lucies body was hurting, but as she lifted herself, to sit up, she noticed with strange comfort, the warm waters washing over her legs. The fear she soon realized, that she was all alone, this scared her the most. She had no thoughts of what happened or had partaken in worries about what would happen next. Just a single emotion overwhelmed everything, fear. Not even the warm waters could comfort her as they did a moment ago. She started to cry, thinking nothing more of wanting & needing her mother.

Lucie was travelling alone and for the first time, since her father moved to a completely different country. She was and still perhaps up until this point angry at her mother even though her mother played little part in her fathers actions. When she got on the plane, she was both filled with elements of excitement and fear, mixed together with anger but very much looking forward to seeing her father (less so the woman that had replaced her father's affections). Now things, despite the fear, had changed, now she was angry at her father. Lucie had always fitted in at school, but over the last few weeks she had become more introverted & shyer than her normal self. She had only one good friend, but honestly that is all she really needed. Being 14 years old and having parents not only divorce but her father placing himself so far away well… hurt her. Lucie felt more pain about that than she would ever be willing to admit, it held the sense of feeling abandoned.

As Lucie sat there floating in the ocean, she started to feel lost, in a weird way it felt okay. Used to being alone was not much of a problem she guessed. Then she changed her mind and said in mild tones, what was meant to be a shouting out, What the fuck is happening? Trying to hide her tears even though she knew no one was around her. After that, for roughly 40 minutes she repeatedly shouted help and other things, mostly swear words, she only stopped when her throat became sore. She cupped her hand and scooped up some warm sea water. As soon as the salty water entered her mouth, she vomited. Feeling a little stupid knowing that no one could drink salt water or it would make you sick. She resigned herself a little, for each passing hour she heard nothing but the bobbing water around her and seeing nothing more than the same broken pieces of plane. The fires had now gone out and it was getting dark, this situation now became much scarier.

Although Lucie was shy and hated being at the centre of attention, she had some amazing abilities. It is my belief that she would have become an excellent artist, she loved doing it and had an inescapable talent, even in her failures, as she considered them, were indeed beautiful. Drawing and painting had always been one of the things that had provided comfort for her, apart from Musco that is. Lucie had been given Musco when she was little and somehow, he knew how to provide all the comfort she required under most circumstances. At her birthdays Musco was there, when her parents had split up Musco was indeed there again, after the divorce when she had arguments with her mother… well he was there too. Now it was getting dark, all alone in the middle of a vast ocean, she thought about trying to find him, but fear & tiredness got the best of her. As she laid her head down, to only quickly fall asleep in a now quiet ocean.

Lucie jumped out of her skin, something had just touched her and the thought of a shark had suddenly entered her mind. As suddenly as she jumped, she was comforted by a voice telling her that it was okay. That voice belonged to the lady of the grandparent couple she saw on the plane. They dragged her onto a rescue raft, certainly an improvement on the cold piece of metal she was starting to consider her home, but not by much. Before she could even settle with the comfort of not being alone anymore, she was being asked questions about if she was ok, what hurt, did she want some water, it went on. Lucie then noticed their concern; she had a really big cut on her head. It didnt feel painful though, and at long last she had the comfort of other people. Lucie did not ask many questions back to the couple, but they werent grandparents at all, rather they had met each other about 2 years ago and fallen in love for the first time. The shock followed by the rapid relief caused her to cry, despite her not really knowing why and the older woman held her until she fell asleep.

Lucies third awakening was altogether different and much more familiar. It looked to her like a hospital, but perhaps it would be more logical and make more sense if it were the sick bay of a ship. One of the nurses noticed her trying to sit up and approached Lucies bed. The cut on her head was not the only thing that required attention. Lucie restlessly wanted to get up to ask questions, the nurses instructions were though to get back to sleep. Despite her body being more injured than she or the older couple thought, it strangely still did not hurt. The atmosphere began to change almost as soon as she started to fall asleep, it now was warming and more comforting than before. As her eyes tried to remain open, she saw her mother with Musco and she said a word she hadnt used since she was little, Mummy? Answered by a short acknowledgement it was her. Lucie felt truly safe now, as she stopped fighting the urge to sleep while her mother placed Musco in her bed & started stroking Lucies hair.

There Stories: Instalment three

Timothy

It might be odd to read the following sentence in a story concerning the events of a plane crash. Timothy awoke in his bed, he felt comfortable and at first did not notice anything strange at all. In fact, it was his own bed, but more comfortable. Tim jumped out of it with an energy that he hadnt had in years and stood looking around this room. He had often preferred to be called Tim rather than Timothy. Wait a minute, he thought to himself. Why does my bedroom look so much better than it did before? Tim found more youthful energy and started running around the house. Then, with this new energy, he repeated another run around the house. Tim thought to himself ‘why does this look brighter, cleaner, kind of new & full of life somehow. Tim ran to the front door for no real reason and opened it. He spotted someone he knew very well.
Hey Jeff, my good man, how are you? Waving like a lunatic.
Morning Tim Jeff said with a certain degree of expecting to have this conversation. Why dont you get dressed and come have a walk with me?
But I want to wear my pyjamas they feel comfortable Tim replied.
Okay, come on then, Jeff said with a smile on his face.

Tim now with no shoes and just his pyjamas walked out of the house into a garden that look so alive and full of colour. Which is weird since Tim had not been blessed with a green thumb, rather a black thumb and able to kill almost any plant or flower he came into contact with. As Tim approached the gate, he opened it and greeted Jeff with a handshake while still taking the world around him in. Jeff knowing this was a big transition for his friend, he waited patiently. Tim noticed how the sun was not really there, but everything had a warm, glow and light seemed to be emulating from everywhere and everything. A tree not far away was almost glowing with light.
This way Tim, as Jeff put his arm around Tim. We dont need to talk much, but I would like to show you around the place.
Okay It did not really seem important for Tim to ask a single question, perhaps the whole experience was just overwhelming. Still, Jeff lead Tim in a direction rather than both walking with any meaning Everything looks just so…
Jeff expected this kind of comment and thought nothing for a reply other than weird. He went on though Let me tell you about the place, but it's important you know that the bed you woke up in and the house you ran around in, is yours. We are walking towards the lake and you are just wearing your pyjamas, not sure I expected you to be any different.

As Jeff lead the way, Tim was looking around as if he had never seen any of these somewhat normal things before. His house, trees, the grass, even the ground did not hurt his feet. Then he thought to himself, still half listening to Jeff. The house and his garden, that must have taken a lot of work to make them both beautiful. Still, the birds flying above in a joyful manner and singing to each other as though it were a mere summers day. Wait, he thought this kind of feels like a summers day as he experienced as a child.
Here we are Tim
Where?
This is the lake I would like you to swim in. Ive brought along someone who is also kind of new here as well. I thought you could go swimming together. As Jeff gesture towards Claire.
Hello, Claire replied to the gesture and to the both of them.
Hello, Tim managed to clamber together as his answer. … If I might ask, we dont have any bathing suits, so how can we go swimming?
Jeff could have been taken aback a little by this, but sure as he was, he gently pulled them closer to the lake. Here things are a little different, but there will be time to experience all of it, I promise. Then, without a single hesitation Jeff pushed them both into the lake and allowed himself a little smile.

This would normally be funny only to the person doing the pushing, but Tim experienced something amazing and the water was not scary at all. It was warm and it felt not like swimming in it more becoming part of it. He could see Claire having fun and Tim naturally decided to join in. Rolling about with ease, he could hear himself laughing, hear Claire laughing as if they were children. At all times they felt like they could just stay in the lake all day with all the colourful fishes playing with them. They felt no need to go to the surface in order to get air. It was at this point Tim felt and observed that part of him was somewhere else. Laying on his back in a cold, dark ocean, he could feel the swell of the water and the rain falling onto his face. It was perhaps the look of terror that brought Claire to him. She guided him to the shore, Tim now regaining a sense of this place rather than the other. They both reached the shore to find their clothes dry.
What was that? Claire asked.
Im not sure, just for a moment, I thought I was somewhere very different, very cold and lonely, he finished as Jeff approached them both.
As Jeff did, he said Its ok, you know; you are with us and we will both walk you home. There is nothing to be worried about.

Jeff again gestured both Tim and Claire, they started walking back without saying much but not due to any confusion or negative feelings just in contentment. Then Tim spotted something, something which he felt should not be there and he did not understand why. He blurted out
What is that?
Oh, that is the hospital but we dont need to get into that right now, Jeff replied.
Tim wanted to push for more information, he did not like hospitals they had always been places where you received bad news but Tim decided with some determination to enjoy the lovely day. As they soon reached his house and he invited both Jeff & Claire in for a spot of lunch. They both passively agreed since neither of them had anywhere else to be or anything else to do. They did, however suggest that perhaps Tim should get dressed, he was still in his pyjamas but he had completely forgotten.
Oh, yes, I will change and Jeff my dear man, could you pop the kettle on. Claire please make yourself at home. The feeling of that cold ocean came back to Tims mind, but he pushed it out in order to get back to the enjoyment of his company and a spot of lunch with a cup of tea.

Marie [Instalment four]

Marie experienced a strong & painful flash of light, when she opened her eyes, she had to check whether what she was looking at was real or some kind of illusion. Somehow, she was standing on a rather small island, the sea could be seen in all directions but, the north and south of the island were more distant. It could have been west to east because she did not really know. She turned her head away from the hot sun, now in her view was a small plane that had crashed just a few meters away from her. This was not the plane that she had boarded a few hours earlier rather a twin-engine propeller plane which was smouldering although the wind was taking the smoke away from her. Other parts had been broken off, but overall, in good condition. It would never fly again as she noticed a wheel that had been broken off a little further back. Marie walked towards it and with little to no grace at all, climbed on top, she used her sleeve to wipe the dirt off the window. No one was in the plane, but it did look like someone had been in the plane recently. Marie thought to herself that this plane was very similar to those she studied a few years ago in a museum.

The smell of oil was present in the air combined with a little scent of burning. The island was not that big, but it would make a lovely vacation spot. Bright blue water, lovely sandy beaches and well… an old propeller plane to add some intrigue. As Marie looked harder into the cockpit and rubbed away some more dirt, she could see an old flight jacket, with a name embossed on it. With some strength of will and a large amount of struggling she managed to push the window open enough to pull the jacket out. She finally got it free, the name was A. Earhart, the jacket also had a few missing buttons. She could not believe this bizarre situation, as soon as that thought ended one of the engines made a loud short scrape which made her jump back and onto the wing in a quite painful way. As she attempted to regain her standing position, she looked back towards the rear of the plane. Now she thought things were making more sense and she moved herself closer to the tail. Wiping some dirt and sand away, she thought she knew what should be written on the tail, but she found herself excited as well as fearful. As she finished removing all the dirt and sand off, she stood back. The identification on the tail was the expected one, it read: NR 16020.

‘This is her plane and I have found it, Marie thought. She returned to the cockpit. The radio hissed into life for a few seconds. Looking at it, she did not really understand how these old radios worked, but it was set to a frequency of 6310kHz, kind of, the bottom of the 0 and the top of 1 could be seen as the last number. Inside there were also maps, some rather gross looking food and rather oddly a small pot of anti-freckle cream. To Marie this was unbelievable, this is her plane and she shook her head out of disbelief. ‘A Earhart…
Amelia Earhart, this is your plane she said out loud but softly to herself.
For what felt like a very long time Marie just remained almost hanging over the bottom of the window and she would have stayed like that for longer if it werent for another plane ripping passed her head with a tremendous amount of speed. The force of it made her lose grip and she fell to one side hitting her head.

After regaining control of her faculties, she forced her way into the plane and jumped into the pilot seat with sheer joy. Within a few seconds the pain of bumping her head was replaced with amazement that she was sitting in Earharts seat; she was looking out of the same window and she had her hands on the controls which would had been used by of one the greatest female pilots of all time. Earhart was to Marie an inspiration and although it bothered her, that she was sitting in Earharts plane and it was in such good condition, well for a plane that had crashed that is. The thought made her smile. The plane was somewhat buried in the sand and if it was truly Earharts it would have crashed in 1937. Maries own fascination with planes and everything to do with them could now be summed up with the knowledge that the last person who had sat in this cockpit was Earhart herself! Marie did not have much time to dwell on this as the rather intrusive plane that had ‘buzzed her earlier returned. Prepared this time she saw the plane coming and recognised it as a Catalina… something, it was nevertheless a very old seaplane. She scrambled outside, to start shouting and waving her hands in the air. Then with delight the plane turned around and headed right for her. It past, albeit much higher than before, then continued onwards into the distant blue skies.

With some disappointment and hope that the seaplane would come back, she started to collect all the documents, to keep them together and safe. She thought that this was an amazing find but not an understandable discovery. The sun was slowly starting to go down, with only the occasional burst of wind to keep her company. The excitement of what had been found had not faded. Marie looked up and another flash of painful light came over her, she again struggled to open her eyes. She was back in her seat on the plane she had boarded a few hours ago. She raised herself, everything looked normal. People were looking bored or sleepy, the defined normal in plane journeys. She thought to herself that what she just experienced could have not been a dream. She still felt the sun on her face, the sand between her toes. Then she reached inside her pocket and pulled out a label and an old one at that. It read Dr C. H Berrys Freckle Ointment. As she studied it the ‘bing noise sounded, it was the seatbelt sign. They were coming into land; it did not feel that enough time had passed, but a quick look outside through the window confirmed it. The city was below.

Albert [Instalment Five]

This is perhaps the most uncomfortable and may I say it, an unpleasant account to tell since this is the story of Albert and his own self-torture. To help, someone we have met before will tell us of Albert, it is hoped this will make it more… agreeable, but honestly, it will remove some of my own discomfort. Jeffs role in this place is to meet people like Timothy but not everyone wishes to be happy at all, some prefer to be quite miserable. As Jeff walks towards where he can find Albert the light starts to dim, the weather cools and it starts to look less vibrant and moves towards being dull. The buildings become less maintained and it turns towards a dark winters night. Although it starts to get colder and the snow encroaches on the landscape, Jeff does not feel the cold. He does notice that inside himself a certain feeling of unrest is starting to appear and an urge to not stay here longer than he has to. This is part of his role, these people that live here are still an important part of this place. They might never be able to free themselves, but it is hoped that one day they might stop their own punishment. If they ever do then Jeff or someone else will be here waiting to take them somewhere much nicer.

Jeff finally arrives at a small village with barely a handful of houses, all in some state of disrepair, he notices the one that he has to visit today. He walks towards the door with a little hesitation, but not wanting any eyes watching him to catch anything but his own confidence. He could be assured that others would be looking on with some interest. As he knocks on the door, a shriek is offered in reply. Jeff pushes the door open to find a cold and damp room lit with a single candle. The person that lives here has recently arrived just since the plane crash, but Albert seems to have found some way to make it his home of sorts, albeit not in a positive way. Jeff walks towards the centre of the room looking around for Albert, finally he stops. Albert is human, but a very strange human at that, Alberts skin is pale and he hides himself in the shadows of the room.
Hello, I know that you are new here, I wanted to introduce myself and to let you know that if you need anything someone will always be around… Jeff stops as Albert knocks something over, making quite a noise.
Leave me alone, I said, leave me alone, a voice that could have only been Albert.
Jeff looks around at this pitiful man and this pitiful place, he knew that this is what Albert had created himself. This house had not been here before Albert had arrived. The wooden floors were creaky, the fireplace had never been lit and little light came through the windows. Although Jeff had been to many such places, this one was a little different. The windows in this house had wooden planks nailed across them from the inside, other houses had the planks nailed on the outside. Perhaps, this is a sign of hope. Jeff looked around for something to sit on, finding a broken but perfectly useable chair.

As he sat there, he started to connect with Albert, not through words, more like impressions through images. Albert had always been an angry person, but Jeff could dismiss this as Albert only feeling safe when things were done in a certain way. The created anger was through the anxiety of things that were not in the order that they had been planned out. Jeff could also see that Albert had been a wealthy man, his goal was to make as much money as he could, but even now Jeff could share the sense of regret that Albert felt. Regret that the money was not used to enjoy his life or to share enjoyment with others. That holds true for things even when it came to things in which money was not the issue. Like not taking the time to enjoy a piece of music or waking up on a spring day to have the feeling of the suns warmth touch his skin. The rush to have something or be different had always been before what he already had. Albert had chased the next thing before stopping to enjoy what he had just got. The never ending ‘betterment had resulted in nothing but anger, fear and guilt. Jeff thought to himself, that is not uncommon for people who put themselves here. Still, the way the windows had been boarded up gave Jeff a little hope.

At that moment Albert threw something at Jeff which luckily missed him. Then a sudden rough voice came through the darkness Get out of here, this is my place, you are not welcome here.
Jeff was not shocked by this, but replied I will leave, but I will also return, one day I hope that you will walk with me to a different place.
I want to be here, the now more hostile voice replied.
Nevertheless, I will return and perhaps you will change your mind, Jeff knowing what was to come next. He stood up and walked to the door, turning around to see Albert, a sad figure dressed in rags, blowing out the candle. Then Jeff walked outside, the door was slammed behind him. It brought a smile to Jeffs face because he knew this is what always happens, time and time again. It might be a long time before Albert lets anyone into his house again, but at least it is hoped that things do slowly change. Right then the slamming of other windows and doors could be heard in this dismal village. They had all been watching and trying to listen, others had been interested in what was going on but none of them would ever admit it. Jeff sighed to himself, but then started the walk back to the place he had come from.

As he walked out of the village, a burden of sorts had been lifted in him for the time being. He could hear noises coming from around him, but knowing there was nothing more that could be done, Jeff carried on walking. As he did, the skies opened up, the light returned, as did the warmth. Slowly but surely things became nicer, not long after known voices could be heard. Laughing, talking about topics of the day and the general hum. Jeff decided to treat himself by visiting a friend. This is where we part with both Jeff and Albert, at least for now. It should be of some comfort that not many people force themselves into places like Albert did but it does happen, then when it happens, people like Jeff are waiting for them when they decide they can forgive themselves.