My Diary

I am writing a story for school and here is what I have so far,

I, laying in the fetal position on the filthy hardwood flooring, now covered in my blood, was crying silently. This was the second time today and it is only 7:35 in the morning! I slowly started to rise from the bloody, dirty, broken beer bottle covered floor. Thankfully both my mother and father had stumbled off to do who knows what in their drunken, drug induced daze. I began to stagger down the steps to my room, a.k.a the basement.

It was a small room, only really having a small box for my clothes and the cold, hard concrete floor that served as my bed. I reached over to the small box and grabbed a cheap black hoodie that I had managed to get from the dollar tree, as well as a black pair of jeans that I had made out of some old cloth scraps. After changing into the clothes, I cleaned up the blood in the kitchen and left for school.

As I walked down the sidewalk of my relatively nice neighborhood, I saw Ashley Oakwood. After seeing her and her little group, I quickly pulled my hood over my long, red, curly hair and went down a side street, as I didnt want to be pushed around more this morning. As I got further away from the group, I slowed and pushed some of my red hair off of my pale, bruised face. I paused, took a breath, and continued on my way to school.

The character does not resemble me in anyway. I just wanted to do a story about abuse and a couple of other topics.

Hold on, Holy Ghost
Go on, hold me close
Better run, here we come
It's the day of the dead

We come from a world of oblivion, bad dreams
I got all I need strapped right to my hamstring
I'm not really bad, I'm just made up of bad things
I'm really not a mad man, the voices keep asking
Born with a soul that don't wanna be saved
Every time I look around I see what a fiend made
Every time I die, I hope they digging up my grave
An undead one like the flag that I wave
I'm not afraid to cry from this cocaine sickness
I'm not afraid to die, let the good book witness
I ask and give none, nope, no forgiveness
The day of the dead and you're on our hit list
So come all you misfits
Bitch, you're on our hit list

Hold on, Holy Ghost
Go on, hold me close
Better run, here we come
It's the day of the dead
Hold on, Holy Ghost
So long to the ones you know
Better run, here we come
It's the day of the dead

This is exactly what has to be done, it happened so gradually
It's like I magically happened to be the phantom that cannot be
Lets this dagger cut jaggedly
While you're gasping so rapidly
While you gag on this rag
I see you all laughing so happily
It's okay to get startled and be afraid of the dark
I'll just wait here to swallow your soul and tear you apart
And I've already started, there ain't no saving your heart
This is the day of the dead, this is ain't no day in the park
Here I come, here I come, grab your guns and crossbows
And run, better run from the skull and crossbones
The fun has begun, yeah, it's hard to swallow
When I'm done, I ain't done, 'cause it's hell that follows
Now get ready for sorrow,
'Cause it's hell that follows

Hold on, Holy Ghost
Go on, hold me close
Better run, here we come
It's the day of the dead
Hold on, Holy Ghost
So long to the ones you know
Better run, here we come
It's the day of the dead

When the ashes start to rise
And the moon falls from the sky
And a thousand candles burn into the night
When the angels softly cry
On the flames below the sky
Would a thousand souls still pray for you and I?

Hold on, Holy Ghost
Go on, hold me close
Better run, here we come
It's the day of the dead

Hold on, Holy Ghost
Go on, hold me close
Better run, here we come
It's the day of the dead
Hold on, Holy Ghost
So long to the ones you know
Better run, here we come
It's the day of the dead

It's the day of the dead
(Hold on, Holy Ghost)
It's the day of the dead
(Hold on, Holy Ghost)
It's the day of the dead
(Hold on, Holy Ghost)
It's the day of the dead

Hollywood Undead - Day of the Dead

Life has begun to seem like an endless prision. What have I done to deserve this? Faking a smile has become so easy. Even those closest to me can't tell the difference. The only thing I can't really hide is the emotions in my eyes. They don't even notice. On the outside, I am happy, normal. I want to cry for help, but that cry is muffled, to just my eyes. People say that they like my eyes (color), but they are forced. There is nothing else about me anyone can really like. I know their lying, because they don't see the plea for help. I am tired of hiding, but I can't stop. I want to be happy, but everytime I try, I fall further into the rabbithole, that is my mind. The demons arise from the deep and suck everylast bit of happyness from me. I am but a shell, of my former self.

Hey, so I really need a listener that can help with DID. So, if anyone knows of someone like that, please let me know.

Watching one's self break is an odd experience. Just when you think you can't possibly break anymore, there goes another piece of you. Broken. Gone. Fighting the madness is futile. It is a losing fight. No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to win. To catch a break. To find a chink in the enemies proverbial armor.

I was listening to Bring the Horizon earlier and some lyrics really stuck with me:

So you can throw me to the wolves
Tomorrow I will come back
Leader of the whole pack
Beat me black and blue
Every wound will shape me
Every scar will build my throne

This really describes my current abusive situation at home and my thoughts on it. It is nice how much power and meaning a couple of words can hold for someone.

(Lunar Chronicals)

(Lunar Chronicals)

(Lunar Chronicals)

(Lunar Chronicals)

(Kaneki-Kun) (Sorry lol)

(This picture and the one below are of Nagisa Shoita. He is verbally and mentally abused by his mother because she would rather had had a girl. I thought this was interesting.)

UWU

https://voca.ro/bTkqkDxds2Q

I tried to sing Outsider by Three Days Grace lol

I am sick and sound horrible...

:)

I realized that I have been saying UWU a lot lately and I decided to say that I am not a furry, I just like the phrase. However, I have nothing against furries of course!