Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
  1. Forum
  2. Trauma Support
  3. I don

I don
GayCutter911 March 28th, 2020
.

Okay, where to start?

for like my entire life I've been scared of my mom, and I think that she might be emotionally and/or verbally abusive.

i know that so many of you have had it so much worse but it's been affecting me lately, especially having to be quarantined with her.

when she gets mad, and she gets mad a lot, I get scared. Like she yells and swears and calls me names a lot. I know it's not very bad but it still makes me feel bad. She exposed me to sex at a very young age when I didn't even want to know; there was a time when we were watching a movie and a sex scene came on and I ran away crying and she just sat there laughing (I was 9 or so)

there's also been a few times where I feel she over-sexualizes my body. I'm only 13 too, and was molested by my uncle so I have a hard time with sex and that sort of stuff. But so anyways it was a hot day, I had worn a hoodie over top of a tank top and my classroom was really hot so naturally I took off my hoodie. My school has no dress code and my teacher doesn't really care so no one said anything. But when I get to my moms car, the first thing she says to me-not hi honey or that- is, "you look like a sl*t" and then she went on a whole lecture about how she's 'fine' (she's obviously not) with me wearing those clothes around her, just as long as I don't around my dad or brothers. Which makes absolutely no sense to me, because my dad has never once said anything to me, and I've worn short shorts around him and he doesn't care.

2
GayCutter911 OP March 28th, 2020
.

I just feel as though she's overreacting. Everyone at my school knows I'm gay, and for the most part they respect that. I get that I do have larger breasts than others, but does that give my mom a reason to call me a sl*t? Also I come from a family of fairly curvy women so it's no surprise I have big breasts. That's not going to change and I have struggled with body image and self esteem for a long time. I am really happy and proud to say that I have been kicking anorexia and bulimia in the @$$! But I also have anxiety and overthink things way too much, so when she says things about my clothing I take it the wrong way and that she thinks I'm fat and ugly and all that. And when she says I can't wear tank tops around my dad it makes me uncomfortable as if he sexualizes me too and then I think of my uncle and assume the worst.

but she can also be nice sometimes, like when she's in a good mood we get along really well. I don't know, am I overreacting?

thank you if you took the time to read this, you are all beautiful and amazing and deserve all the good in the world. I hope you all stay safe and healthy and *virtual, safe* hugs and love from Canada

xxoxx❤️

optimisticWillow1712 March 28th, 2020
.

Hey @GayCutter911

First of all, I'm so proud of you for fighting anorexia and bulemia, you're a tough one!!❤️ You are so, so strong and putting all of that out there takes bravery which you seem to have a lot of! Have you tried talking to another family member or counsellor about the issues with your mum? Reaching out to someone else can be really helpful as they could help you address the issue and back you up. You can also reach out to a listener on this platform at any time- all of us are willing to listen and want to help❤️. Body confidence affects so many people and yes, it takes time to become more confident but you can do it, we're all in this together.

Feel free to message me at any time if you want to chat!🙂

optimisticwillow1712 💕💕

*Support Forum Disclaimer
My communities
Community guidelines
Report an issue
Talk to an expert therapist
Therapy is a worthwhile investment in yourself.       I know it may be...
Talk to Jennifer Now