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  3. this is things that I do to cope but I can't not feel ashamed..

this is things that I do to cope but I can't not feel ashamed..

TheArtistSystem May 15th
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TW: SA AND CHILD ABUSE, EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND ABANDONING OF A INFANT 

Look i'm a 16 y/o who carries around a stuffed animal giraffe named "PeanutButter" he is my best friend but recently I've began to question my self on what/why I do this.. I do have VERY early childhood trauma, I  had SA happen to me due to my horrible bio father (he is no longer in my life and won't be until I want to speak with him) and I was abandon until my grandmother Ethel (may she rest in peace love you grandma <3) found me and took me in. but back to my main point, I get looked at ALL the time because its "weird" to see a boy carry around a plushie at 16 but I need him to keep me calm and I keep my abandonment issues In check.. I have a huge abandonment issue its something I fear I can't be alone for long (thanks "DAD") but if I have him or another plushie I prefer him tho I feel calm and like I'm safe.. I have had emotional abuse from my feelings being belittled so many times before.. plus he will always listen and not judge (Thats a perk lol) but he's one of the first things I want when I'm scared and it helps he was the first thing I was able to hold after I was let of of the mental hospital (over 3 years ago now) but he comes with me.. 

but my question is why? why do I do this? I feel weird and sometimes ashamed of it.. I know I shouldn't be but I am. I just want some possible reasons or answers

sorry for this being kinda me just ranting but thanks for reading 💗 

this is him btw 

image_1715802143.png

he says thanks for reading this 

10
mytwistedsoul May 16th
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@NoahAnimates He comforts you. To me it would be no different than seeing someone with an emotional support animal. PeanutButter is just better behaved I'm sure 😊 He's cute and his name is awesome! He sounds like a very good friend! 


Could it be possible that your little is influencing you? Do you talk with her? Maybe you could down size? A smaller pocket sized stuffie? It makes it a little easier when you're out in public. Not that I think it's something to be ashamed of but I do understand where you're coming from. But maybe a pocket sized PeanutButter would work? 

I'm sorry for the things you went through. I know it's hard to deal with the aftermath. I wish you peace and love on your journey 💙
TheArtistSystem OP May 16th
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@mytwistedsoul thank you for your kind words and yes he is lol. he does swear at times he once called some  a pretty bad word but they deserved it not gonna lie 🤣

but my friend is gonna make me a little PeanutButter and yes I do talk with Alice she is sweet and silly 

mytwistedsoul May 16th
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@NoahAnimates You're welcome 😊 Hey sometimes a stuffie has to let those cuss words fly especially if someone deserves it. It's always a surprise though but even stuffies have their limits 😂


That's so nice of your friend! I hope it helps so maybe PeanutButter can maybe stay home and Netflix and chill sometimes. Just keep him off the shopping networks 😁

Aww that's great! I'm glad you and Alice get to talk 😊 it really helps when we have that communication 💙 
TheArtistSystem OP May 16th
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@mytwistedsoul 

FOR REAL THO THEY DO  he's a sweet lil guy if you don't make him mad lol otherwise he'll say stuff- 

yeah he wants some more snacks he's a snacker like me love him lol 

mytwistedsoul May 16th
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@NoahAnimates I think that's true for all stuffies tbh. They're sweet and friendly but if they get mad they have no problem telling people what they think. Stuffies are very very brave 😊 

Makes sense that he's a snacker. If he was in the wild he'd probably graze a lot. I think snacking is a lot like that 😂 His favorite snack wouldn't happen to be peanut butter would it? 
TheArtistSystem OP May 16th
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@mytwistedsoul 

somewhat he LOVEEESS pocky,popcorn,oreos and sushi lol 

mytwistedsoul May 16th
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@NoahAnimates Sushi! 😜 Popcorn is awesome tho 😋 and Oreos! Oreos are even better than popcorn. He's got good snack choices! Except for the sushi lol - not a fan myself 😬 

Tinywhisper11 May 16th
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@NoahAnimates peanutbutter is a cutie😍 I had a friend on cups, in the adult side, he left a while ago. But he took his crocodile plushie everywhere he went, for the same sort of comfort reasons as you do. It's a very normal thing to do, so no you should not feel ashamed. And those who give you looks well their just jealous they don't get to hold him. People of all ages, worldwide, suck their thumbs, have some sort of fidget toy in their hands, have a comfort blanket, and plushies. You should not feel embarrassed sweetie, if peanutbutter helps and comforts you, then that's all that matters. Don't be afraid ever to be you ❤❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤

TheArtistSystem OP May 16th
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@Tinywhisper11 this was the sweetest thing to log into this morning thank you <3

Tinywhisper11 May 17th
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@NoahAnimates hugs you tightly ❤❤ never be afraid to be you ❤ cause you are perfect the way you are

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