this is things that I do to cope but I can't not feel ashamed..
TW: SA AND CHILD ABUSE, EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND ABANDONING OF A INFANT
Look i'm a 16 y/o who carries around a stuffed animal giraffe named "PeanutButter" he is my best friend but recently I've began to question my self on what/why I do this.. I do have VERY early childhood trauma, I had SA happen to me due to my horrible bio father (he is no longer in my life and won't be until I want to speak with him) and I was abandon until my grandmother Ethel (may she rest in peace love you grandma <3) found me and took me in. but back to my main point, I get looked at ALL the time because its "weird" to see a boy carry around a plushie at 16 but I need him to keep me calm and I keep my abandonment issues In check.. I have a huge abandonment issue its something I fear I can't be alone for long (thanks "DAD") but if I have him or another plushie I prefer him tho I feel calm and like I'm safe.. I have had emotional abuse from my feelings being belittled so many times before.. plus he will always listen and not judge (Thats a perk lol) but he's one of the first things I want when I'm scared and it helps he was the first thing I was able to hold after I was let of of the mental hospital (over 3 years ago now) but he comes with me..
but my question is why? why do I do this? I feel weird and sometimes ashamed of it.. I know I shouldn't be but I am. I just want some possible reasons or answers
sorry for this being kinda me just ranting but thanks for reading 💗
this is him btw
he says thanks for reading this
@NoahAnimates He comforts you. To me it would be no different than seeing someone with an emotional support animal. PeanutButter is just better behaved I'm sure 😊 He's cute and his name is awesome! He sounds like a very good friend!
@mytwistedsoul thank you for your kind words and yes he is lol. he does swear at times he once called some a pretty bad word but they deserved it not gonna lie 🤣
but my friend is gonna make me a little PeanutButter and yes I do talk with Alice she is sweet and silly
@NoahAnimates You're welcome 😊 Hey sometimes a stuffie has to let those cuss words fly especially if someone deserves it. It's always a surprise though but even stuffies have their limits 😂
@mytwistedsoul
FOR REAL THO THEY DO he's a sweet lil guy if you don't make him mad lol otherwise he'll say stuff-
yeah he wants some more snacks he's a snacker like me love him lol
@NoahAnimates I think that's true for all stuffies tbh. They're sweet and friendly but if they get mad they have no problem telling people what they think. Stuffies are very very brave 😊
@mytwistedsoul
somewhat he LOVEEESS pocky,popcorn,oreos and sushi lol
@NoahAnimates Sushi! 😜 Popcorn is awesome tho 😋 and Oreos! Oreos are even better than popcorn. He's got good snack choices! Except for the sushi lol - not a fan myself 😬
@NoahAnimates peanutbutter is a cutie😍 I had a friend on cups, in the adult side, he left a while ago. But he took his crocodile plushie everywhere he went, for the same sort of comfort reasons as you do. It's a very normal thing to do, so no you should not feel ashamed. And those who give you looks well their just jealous they don't get to hold him. People of all ages, worldwide, suck their thumbs, have some sort of fidget toy in their hands, have a comfort blanket, and plushies. You should not feel embarrassed sweetie, if peanutbutter helps and comforts you, then that's all that matters. Don't be afraid ever to be you ❤❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤
@Tinywhisper11 this was the sweetest thing to log into this morning thank you <3
@NoahAnimates hugs you tightly ❤❤ never be afraid to be you ❤ cause you are perfect the way you are