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Want to talk can't talk

User Profile: DCcat1989
DCcat1989 February 22nd

So I want to connect with other systems like me but everytime I try to open a chat to speak I get scared and anxious.... 

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User Profile: Tinywhisper11
Tinywhisper11 February 22nd

@DCcat1989 opening up about trauma can sure be scary and hard.But you know sometimes venting about it all is good for you ❤ did you know there's a trauma group chat room that pops up late sunday till early morning monday. But that's in UK time. And we have many great listeners here ❤ wishes you all the best and hugs you tightly ❤❤


User Profile: mytwistedsoul
mytwistedsoul February 22nd

@DCcat1989 Hey :) It can be really hard to open up and talk about things. It can often be harder when you have a system. We can be fearful of other peoples judgement and just coming forward as a system can be scary. I host an open support chat for people with DID/OSDD each Wednesday at 1pm. You're welcome to join us. It would give you the opportunity to meet other systems that are here on cups. We talk about things we're dealing with and sometimes brainstorm to help find things to help. There's other chats too that are guided and a little more structured 

This Link is the announcement thread - we give a 24 hour notice for chats. And I send a reminder an hour before the chat I host

And this Link is the schedule of when chats happen. You're welcome to subscribe or just put that you'd like to be added to the tag list on either link :) 

I hope to see you around!

3 replies
User Profile: DCcat1989
DCcat1989 OP February 22nd

@mytwistedsoul

Thank you for the links 😊

I'll see what we can do ☺️☺️

2 replies
User Profile: LittleSunshine2036
LittleSunshine2036 February 22nd

@DCcat1989

And also if you want you can share you feeling and pain with me . I'll try my best to support and listen to you 

User Profile: mytwistedsoul
mytwistedsoul February 22nd

@DCcat1989 You're welcome! You're welcome to lurk in the background too 😊 There's never any pressure to talk

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User Profile: LittleSunshine2036
LittleSunshine2036 February 22nd

@DCcat1989

Opening up is tough my friend which I understand.  But it's neccessary to know that this is a safe place and so many of us here will try to support you . There is no pressure to share , but I believe that sharing pain is better than suffering alone . Traumatic memories are stressful topics which many of us avoid to talk about but dear friend,  we are here for you . 

Love you always *hugs if okay * 

If you feel like you can't open up with so many people around at once , I'll encourage you to connect to a listener and have one on one chat with them . First few may be hard and scary but soon you will start to feel comfortable.  

☺💗

User Profile: DCcat1989
DCcat1989 OP February 23rd

Tw: Trauma, drugs, self harm 

I have 5 alters/people. Sam, Molly, Alex, Cat and me (Dan). All girls.

From ages 3-7; 12; 15-18 I have been people's "play thing". At age 3-7 it was my biological father. Age 12 my adoptive brother. And age 15-18 my ex best friend. 

I was in foster system from ages 3-10. (We had visits with my biological parents until the age of 10.) Moving from family to family school to school every 6 months. No one taught me to read or anything for that matter until mom adopted me at age 10. My adoptive brother asked me to help him with a video game and I went to help him but instead he choked me then touched me. I was 12 and he was 17. When I was 15 I was abused for 3 straight years everyday day in and day out.

My biological parents were druggies and alcoholics. There was substances and alcohol everywhere.

During the foster care system school days Alex would front. Alex was/is a teenage that is (what I call a typical teenager ie: depressed self harm (we have stopped all her and my own self harm) type of person. Molly not entirely sure when but she is a little. Then there's Cat she is a black cat and she took everything trauma from when I was 15-18 years old. My brain said what do you do to a cat.... You pet it. What is the girl doing to me? I must be a cat..... So yeah.... Then there is Sam. Sam is my cyborg when I can't deal with anything. You mention harm and she fronts to keep everyone safe. Either me or others. She came about because I turned to self harm and yeah..... 

Then me. I'm Dan and I'm the host of us. Like every legal doc and such is me. 

Sorry for the very very very long post. I know it's a lot. We are 4 years clean from self harm and it's been a while like a long time since I've had extremely bad thoughts. 

Thank you for reading 💖