Please reassure me.
Today I spiraled mentally and I'm still feeling it. I've been hurt and rejected so many times in the past. I wasted so much time in life chasing false hopes and getting distracted by conditional love that would never last. Nobody figured out what I needed. Nobody saw to it that I could rely on myself and stand on my own two feet. I've been a reasonable person. I've listened and listened to so many people so many times. It scares me how self interested people have been. I've had to be my own hero, but even with that I still crumble. Also I've started chatting with a girl I really like and I just don't feel good enough. I want to give her my best but I am so needy sometimes I'm scared I will let her see that side of me. I live alone. All I need is a caring hand. Someone to keep me company or check up on me to make sure I'm okay. I don't feel like anyone really recognises my needs.
@LuckyDragon88
Greetings, Dragon,
Thank you for your post. It sounds like you're really struggling to find your match in a counterpart. I am sorry to hear that this has been so challenging for you. Relationships can be very difficult to navigate, especially if you're still healing from old wounds. Most of us are, however, there are ways to heal that will prevent you from carrying your previous hurt into your next relationship.
I hope you achieve some clarity in detecting relationship patterns so you can successfully alter them for a more favorable outcome. Sometimes we have to accept that our partner is just not the right person for us, or perhaps we've been attracting the wrong kind of people. As a highly sensitive and supportive person, I have often attracted partners that only drain me further and give nothing back. I don't think you're asking for too much at all, however, it is important to remain your own person and not become enmeshed in your partner.
Additional Reading:
- How to Heal From Past Relationships | The Gottman Institute
- How to Avoid Losing Yourself In a Relationship | Mind Body Green
- 22 Steps to Better Communication In Your Relationships | Psych Central
- Relationship Stress Support Community | 7 Cups
Love yourself.
💞
@blitheSun94
Thanks for your reply and the resource links.
The girl I like is so genuine and kind and really shows me respect and appreciation. That's why I feel so nervous. I usually talk to women who aren't my ideal type and I therefore have no fear of losing them. But when I find someone special after such a long time I just want to jump right in. I get a mix of excitement and optimism but also fear. I am prepared to enjoy her company but I really need to accept that I am worth loving. I agree that I should remain myself but I also want to change myself, even if that just means doing my house chores more often and looking after myself. I rarely meet someone who makes me feel that way. I've heard the saying "faint heart never won fair lady". I think I should go for it and take it as a positive experience regardless of the outcome.
Thanks again.