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LuckyDragon88
1 380 M Embraced 3
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts42 Forum posts18 Forum upvotes28 Current upvotes28 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2024 Member sinceJune 17, 2024
Recent forum posts
There wasn't enough love.
Trauma Support / by LuckyDragon88
Last post
September 17th
...See more So many people I knew just didn't love enough. They didn't know how to or they were selfish. My life has taken many bad turns and so many people could have prevented that. I find that a very hard thing to swallow. I'm supposed to just accept it and move on. I'm considering therapy after I have paid for a new kitchen appliance. Another thing I feel strongly about is sexual liberation. And I was very much discouraged from it for a long time when I was younger. That has had a massive impact on me. Today I have felt very turned off because there is not enough love in my life. I'm just a product of a failed society. I would consider that I'm the one with the problem, but I have strong principles that contradict that idea. I believe that sharing is caring and that every single person in society should see to it that others write down their thoughts at home using various notebooks with different purposes. To be quite frank I've never met anyone in life who has put that into practice. I am disheartened. Thankyou for reading.
I endure my pain alone
Trauma Support / by LuckyDragon88
Last post
August 22nd
...See more I was bullied in school by so called friends and others. I was bullied at home by family. Why did teachers put pressure on me to perform? Why did they think that was more important than my wellbeing? Why did I go through primary and secondary school then college and university without possessing a single diary at any point? Was I not trained by anyone to be a wise person? My parents were so estranged. Who raised me? Why was I treated badly then abandoned by so many friends? My life has been a wreck. I have learned that if you are treated badly, you will be punished for it. Repeatedly punished because you were treated badly in the first place. Is there no equality? My country disgusts me. If everyone wrote into a notebook the bad things others say and do to them, I think we'd all behave ourselves. Bad people rely on their victims inability to remember how bad they are. That, ladies and gentlemen is the source of my pain.
Please reassure me.
Trauma Support / by LuckyDragon88
Last post
July 23rd
...See more Today I spiraled mentally and I'm still feeling it. I've been hurt and rejected so many times in the past. I wasted so much time in life chasing false hopes and getting distracted by conditional love that would never last. Nobody figured out what I needed. Nobody saw to it that I could rely on myself and stand on my own two feet. I've been a reasonable person. I've listened and listened to so many people so many times. It scares me how self interested people have been. I've had to be my own hero, but even with that I still crumble. Also I've started chatting with a girl I really like and I just don't feel good enough. I want to give her my best but I am so needy sometimes I'm scared I will let her see that side of me. I live alone. All I need is a caring hand. Someone to keep me company or check up on me to make sure I'm okay. I don't feel like anyone really recognises my needs.
I had to teach myself.
Journals & Diaries / by LuckyDragon88
Last post
July 16th
...See more Being raised without proper parenting has left me hurt and desperate to understand life. It took me so long to piece together the information I needed to live a normal life. If I'd been taught well when I was young I would have avoided so many mistakes and would have made much better use of opportunities. I never felt safe growing up. I lacked optimism and I let people hurt me. If I knew then what I know now I'd have a very different life. I live with the aftermath of chaos. I still feel like a reject.
Health anxiety (sensitive topic)
Anxiety Support / by LuckyDragon88
Last post
July 23rd
...See more This is embarrassing but I very rarely get to talk to anyone about it. When I was younger I had the occasional phase of self abuse, sometimes of a sexual nature. I had a phase of putting too much pressure on my "manhood" and even stretching the skin. Ever since then I've had some very noticeable veins and I worry so much about it and what it will be like in the future. I'm always reminded when I go for a shower. I've had it looked at in a hospital appointment and was reassured not to worry too much and that no drastic steps should be taken. But I feel that doesn't rule out all possibilities. I've started using a hemp barrier repair cream. That might not change how it looks but hopefully it strengthens the cells/tissues. I'm fine with intercourse thankfully. But I feel I am in the wake of many issues (both physical and mental) caused by a troubled past.
Accepting the past
Trauma Support / by LuckyDragon88
Last post
July 7th
...See more I have difficulty getting over some psychological abuse I received through life from various people. A few different moments of physical abuse have also been hard to let go of. It would be wrong of me to expect life to be perfect, but I believe some things should never happen and are highly unnecessary. I don't understand cruelty. I need to stop remembering the bad stuff though. I've noticed I can think about things without an actual objective, which most often is not a good thing.