help??? (possible abuse)
so I need help determining whether or not what i'm going through is considered abuse, and if i should talk to my mom specifically about this.
well almost a year ago my mom got this boyfriend, a pretty nice guy at the time.he treated me like his own kid but better (he doesn't treat his children too kindly). he recently moved in with us and once he did he started changing, he started punching me hard enough to leave a bruise but nothing more, i would get mad at him and he would say "oh that didn't hur, i barely touched you" or "i'm just joking, i could hit you harder than that if i really wanted to". I have told him to stop whether it was a joke or not because it hurt but to no avail.
That's most of the physical stuff, but he is very rude to me verbally as well. Stuff like calling me fat (when everyone including him knows im insecure about my weight, and i'm not really that overweight just about 10 lbs), he calls me ugly, stupid, and he says rude stuff about my sexuality. But again he says he's joking and continues to say things like that even though i've asked him to stop many times.
I've been too nervous to address these problems to my mother just because she seems happy with this man, and it's been a while since i've seen her this happy. She's been through multiple break ups and divorces and I want her to be happy even if I'm not
I honestly don't know if this is abuse and i don''t know what to do
Hi there,
Thanks for sharing what you are going through, it;s very brave fo you. Always remember you can come on here for anything,
Simple answer is YES. This is abuse. No one should be hitting or verbally abusing you, no one ever has that right. If you are worried about telling your Mum, for whatever reason, then please find a proffesional. Even your GP can help you, GP may be the best first person you can go to.
Please take care.
Regardless of whether it is abuse (I am veering towards yes but I don't know the full circumstances so am unwilling to pass judgement) you should be able to talk to your mother about whatever is concerning you, it is part of a meaningful relationship. If he is acting in a way which is harmful to you and is not willing to take into account your feelings then it is not a good match for your mother and sometimes you have to take into account the long term, maybe there is someone better for her. If your mother will not listen PLEASE speak to another trusted adult, your wellbeing is important.
I'm sure my mom will listen, I'm just not sure how she will take it. She tends to think things like this are her fault and takes it hard. The man does take advantage of her and she's starting to notice so I hope if I tell her it won't hurt her since she's realizing he's not the man she thought he was.
Thank you so much for your help, I really apprectiate it.