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Lucym88
2,606 M Hopeful Heart 5
PathStep 150 Compassion hearts216 Forum posts110 Forum upvotes99 Current upvotes99 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2016 Member sinceJuly 5, 2015
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self-destruct button
Depression Support / by Lucym88
Last post
 December 12th, 2015
...See more Anyone else have that horrible 'button'? When things seem to be getting better..when you're happy. You just get that feeling that something will go wrong, so you take it upon yourself to end things on your terms. You hit that button. But then..in my case..the people in your life don't quit on you. They remind you how hard you have worked, how much they love you. Anyone here want to share their stories of that awful feeling, that tempting self-destruct button?
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Hit an all time low.
Depression Support / by Lucym88
Last post
 July 17th, 2015
...See more Not really sure where to put this..but here i go. Broke up with boyfriend of 10 years on new years day, flirting with another woman on FB. Also no interest in each other, he would just be on the PC or leave me at home while he went off his friends. He used me for a few months for 'one thing'..and i let him, only when i put a stop to it did he become the man i would of loved to have been with, always out and going to events. He has met someone else and it has made me feel....well....like i wanna die. Today was especially bad, went to The Lakes (local mental institution) for an assessment. I will now have to go a couple of times a week and talk or see what other services they offer. Walking back home i started to feel dizzy (I'm type 1 diabetic) sat on a wall and had my sugar tablets but it didnt help and i feel backwards. A man thought i was drunk. Had to call my brother and i couldn't walk, suddenly there were 4 people around me all trying to help then cops showed up then i was taking into the ambulance. Ambulance lady noticed my self-harm cuts on my arm. She was lovely and gave me advice, she had been through heart break before. So anyway, I'm now at home...back is absolutely killing me. I wanna move on, I know it will take me longer, I feel so unhappy and i have no friends (because me and him had mutual friends but they all stayed with him..majority of them were his friends first) I AM SO FED UP!
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I want to move on...but I can't.
Relationship Stress / by Lucym88
Last post
 July 19th, 2015
...See more Hello everyone, my name is Lucy. I was with a man for 10 years, met when we were 16. We had good days and bad days. But the final 2 years were bad, never went out..had no interest in each other. He was always on the PC or just left me at home while he went out with his mates. Sometimes when we argued (which was always about us not doing anything together) he used to say the most awful, hurtful things. New Years Day I had to end things, he went out without me and when he came back home there were flirty messages to another woman on his phone. I had to stand up for myself and draw a line. The first 3 months when we were seperated, he did come over...used me for one thing and I let him. I couldn't believe we let our relationship turn into something sordid and secretative. Only when I said i didn't want that anymore did he stop contacting me. From what i saw and heard he started going out alot more and doing things..I thought "why only now?! I wanted to do those things with him..wasn't I worth it?". A few weeks ago i learnt that he moved on. He came round today to pick up the last of his things. It was hard, he cried, I cried. Saw a photo of them together which I wish i didn't see, she's a young, slim blonde girl. Very pretty. Apparently she's very kind and sweet. Anyway....   I'm finding it so hard to think things can get better for me. Why am i the one to suffer? I feel like i am the one who is being punished for ending things. I have no friends, I literally have to start from rock bottom. This is so unfair.
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