Are you a Victim or a Survivor of Child Abuse? Share Your Story and Seek Support

Okay so i never really talked about this here, at least not in details so here we go, I'm sorry if this is long.

I feel like my parents have always been abusive, my dad more than my mom, but both of them are i think. I was born with a heart disease and they both blame me for it. They always compare me to my older brother who is perfectly healthy. My mom already told me that i'm not strong, that i owe her everthing. she never believed me when i said i have anxiety, i'm the one who went to the doctor to start therapy and she keeps telling me that i should thank her for that even though she never did a single thing for my anxiety, even after trying to talk to her about it for 10 years.

Since i was around 5 maybe, my dad started to be physically abusive. He would punch me in the arms/shoulder so nobody would notice the bruises. When i was 5 i also found out i was allergic to animals. And my dad kept telling me that the only gift i would get for my 18th birthday would be a suitcase because he'd rather have a dog than a daughter. He never allows me to go out or see other people (other than my one and only friend). When we go to the store he always follows me, sometimes he gets to close to me..

There was also that time when i was helping with the groceries at home and he smashed my face into a wall without any reasons, and my mom yelled at me for crying.

I learned how to defend myself but he keeps trying to hit me.

Whenever i go somewhere, like therapy, he always asks me tons of questions, same thing whenever i go out. Not like "how did it go" but like "what happened, when ? what did you talk about ? to who ? etc..." He also take his sister's defence even thought she wished my death.

I am not sure if this abuse or not. The one thing i know is that because of this i can't get close to other people, i am too scared they might hurt me. I am so sorry for this long post. I never really talked about here in details and i just wanted to get it out of my chest.

It's difficult to call it child abuse, however emotional awareness and being theraputic towards your children Was not something observed by my mother or my father's parents generation, so they did not know any better themselves. Also, I'd like to briefly add that in my opinion there are good and bad points to having evolved into becoming more psychologically aware of our children. The good points? Certainly , empathy, and compassion , but the bad points ?

far too much emphasis in dealing with children without any real experience in psychology. So every parent is suddenly an expert, not! . For instance, everyone wins awards ? After the age of 7, this seems counterproductive and self indulgent . I'm sure there are many more cons versus pros that others can add as examples .

However :

My experience : my father was a falanderer , At the age of 8, I had no idea that my father's drinking was a problem or that he was not being a responsible spouse or parent, I just loved him! At 8 , all I knew was his long trips out of town to his relatives were preceded with my becoming extremely sensitive to his absence and this was preceded with tears and stressing my mother more.

Mom belived I was old enough ( she said) to know "the truth about your father", she let me go over the summer with him. My father was so an alcoholic too,it wasn't long before I discovered his infidelity and it devasted me. I felt alone and not normal, depression began at age 8.

Okay.

Sometimes I WANT to talk about it, and sometimes I just think I'm just a terrible person who's just saying awful things about her own mother.

But that's the story I remember, even she telling nothing of this was true.

My parents divorced when I was 3, and I'm not really sure when my mom turned out to be abusive. She'd pull my hair (always one of my teo braids) and squeeze and grab tightly my arms, wrists and even scratch my legs. I would shrink against the seat of the car in the hope her hands wouldn't reach me.

Always screams, always stressed. I remember one time, when I was like 10, I wanted to go fix my hair at the salon, and she'd be mad because I gave up on doing it. She threw her cellphone on the floor with such strenght that it broke in several parts. It was so scary, and my grandma saw it all. I don't really think she knows I remember this.

My mom would yell at me all the time. I was an extremely fearful child. I had no friends. I wanted to be accepted SO bad.

There was a time she was more calm, like when I was 13 and 15. But she'd always turn that person again, the person I fear, the person I hate.

She calls me worthless, useless. She doesn't think I'm pretty. She doesn't ask how my day was. And if I do, she'd be ironic, like she is when I have panic attacks.

I had one during a trip with her boyfriend and her, and she got angry and told me I ruined eveything. She told me it was my fault because I couldn't control myself. And while I was shaking and out of breath. While I was numb and scared because of the scary joke her boyfriend did (yes, it was HIS fault, not mine), she yelled at me and left me sitting there, having the panic attack all by myself, and went to talk to him, she if he wanted some chocolate and check if he was upset with my reaction. Well, he was, and she got so mad at me.

This is NOT what a mother should do to her child. I'm blood of her blood, and he's just some other guy she thinks is cute.

I'm done. I'm seriously done. I just wanna run far away and forget everything she did to me. Sometimes I hate her, sometimes I love her, but that's the story I remember.

That's the story of my life throught my eyes.

I dont want to say victim , because simply of the word but i guess im a survivor.

I dont remember much from my childhood , i think my mind doesnt want to, the one few blurred memories i have are not very pleasent to me.My dad left us because he was ( is?? ) alcoholic, my mom always preferd to mind her own things such as like her career,friends and such so i was basically raised by my grandparents.Rather by my grandmother.My granfather was ( is ?? ) alcoholic too and sometimes he was very loud and violent.As i said i dont remember much but i recall hiding under my blanket and closing my eyes wishing it would end.I recall bruises my grandmother tried to hide from me.And mosty noises.My mum ignored things that happend at home or she did she would join them.My uncle ( who was likely the one that always defended me ) killed himself.Mum decided it would be best for me if went abroad to study ( i was like 6 yrs old?? ) so she sent me with my grandma to live with my aunts.

My aunts...well they did me good too.They were ( are ?? ) violent but mostly they are manipulative.I thought that everything that happend to me was completly normal.I wasnt allowed to doubt them because u would be punished.I wasnt allowed to say what i dont like because i would be punished.I wasnt allowed to cry because it was annoying.I was worthless,useless,stupid piece of something.I shouldnt have been born.I deserve to die.They are the ones that were taking care of me ( i didnt die, did i?? ) so i should just shut my mouth because im burden.After 10 years of living with them i realized that this wasnt normal, so i ran away.I was in foster care but it was almost same so i ended up in psychiatric hospitals.

Today im adolescent who shouldnt be so confused because its not whats expected from me.Confusion is luxury which only the very young can possibly afford and im not that young anymore.I dont have clue who iam.Pretending and adapting was the only thing i knew.Now i cant pretend nor adapt so well, even i just cant do properly stuffs that i should handle well.I dont remember stuffs that were bad.I dont remember stuffs that were good.I honestly just was and im.I dont know what are my hobbies, i dont know whats going inside my head nor what im feeling,i dont know how to be have relantionship, i dont know that to do with my life.I feel broken,void and sad.

Hi.I'm also victims of domestic abuse.mostly daily sarcasm like yelling or controlling.i had almost lost my life over suicide.And my mom said I'm going to hell. My dad is abusive too.he is having mental problem he doesn't even realize.He stays home since I was kid and has no job. He yelled sometimes,threw thing once in front of my friends.He once closed my face with pillow and my mom even blame me for that. We had physical fights over times.i still live with them sometimes I want to run.i have quite severe mental illness.a BPD I guess.once diagnosed as skizophrenia. My dad took me for years to psychiatric and mostly doctrines me. My mom always angry to me and my father. And now my sister even hate me and say bad things to me while she is younger and my whole family hate my only best friend my dog. I lost friends along the way some are judge. Not completely lost but just never same. I made couple new friends but mostly leave me.i still work but only can work at home.im afraid it became more severe. I'm thinking of counseling therapy.my childhood was full of abusing moment too. I was dragged if I got pee on pants or locked up or beaten if didn't want to sleep. I wish I could get help. I never good in making friends. I have many friends but mostly please everyone. Now I feel much rejections especially from parents, family, boss and male friends. Adding trauma,I received multiple exorcisms led by mom,aunt making me trouble to face reality.

I guess this may be the longest post ever...but I have abused myself for long enough. Its time to talk. I suffer from undiagnosed PTSD that started with childhood physical and sexual abuse. I dont know where the sexual abuse started, and honestly who did it. I always thought it was my father because of a few shameful memories of being naked in front of other men his age when I was 5. I remember being turned on by penises and self stimulation at age 7. My older sister would show me where my dad kept the key to his dirty magazines and movies and we would look thru them and watch the movies. I remember she had friends come over to play "house" and we would all play sexual role playing games directed by her. When I was 7 my mom found one of my sexual drawings and questioned me about it and I lied about what it was to get out of trouble. My father drank and hit me with a closed fist a lot. He would make me lay naked over the end of the couch and he would pound me with a wooden paddle till I couldn't sit down. I recall some inappropriate touching in my genital area too but this was up till9 or ten years old. Once on a camping trip, when I was about 12, I remember waking up in a camper bed when I was sick. My father's hand was stimulating my clitoris. I froze and he appologised and said he thought I was my mom. I dont remember much other than that and constant physical and mental abuse. He would taunt me about getting fat like my older sister.I developed Bulimia at 12.

OK, so I came here to see what you guys thought, maybe you can give me insight.... So since around when I was 9-10 my mom and my grandma would fight A LOT. Recently they have been fighting with me more, especially my mom. She has cancer, and she also had a pre mature baby 8 months ago (my brother). She's been suffering from post partom depression and she's had bipolar disorder her whole life (that's just insight on maybe why she does it). She's pinned me against walls, spat in my face, thrown things at me, have told me that I'm useless, to go live with my father (I live with my mom and grandma only), and said countless tens that she wishes I wasn't here. My grandma on the other hand, she's just a DREEEAAAMM not. She has also thrown stuff at me, more heavy stuff, has hit me with a broom, and told me she wishes I would leave. Does this count as abuse? Mental and Physical? I'm only 13.

When I was about 9, I got Facebook because I was bullied a lot in school and didnt have any friends, so I tried to make friends online. So I met this older man who wanted to be friends and seemed very genuine to my innocent mind. But as our friendship continued over the years, he started to ask me more things. More personal questions. Then those questions started to turn sexual, which made me uncomfortable but I was just discovering my sexuality and he made it seem like I shouldnt be uncomfortable. He was grooming me for child prostitution as it turns out and had every intention of kidnapping me. He also manipulated me into giving him child pornography of myself. When I became sexually active, his interest really peaked. I lost my virginity at 13, and he encouraged me to delve deeper than I maybe should have into my sexuality very quickly and he wanted all the details of it, and to meet me in person to experience those things for himself. He knew my parents and had been watching me and keeping his identity hidden. It went on for 4 years or so before my parents looked through my phone and found out. When they found out, we went to the police, and the police didnt really do much except take my phone. And my parents cut me off from the outside world and my first boyfriend dumped me. I had no friends, no boyfriend and no family that would talk to me. Then when I was 14, I met a guy 5 years older than me, and we started a relationship. He was schizophrenic but I didnt know that at the time, and he was just starting to show signs when we began our relationship. As our relationship progressed it became more apparent. And with his delusions and hallucinations starting, he started to abuse me, any way you can think of. As they got worse and worse, so did his abuse. Eventually I got out, but he proceeded to try and contact me for years and sometimes I would give in and make contact, which was always a mistake. I thought the abuse was completely intertwined with his schizophrenia and if he could just get a handle on that, maybe we could start again. There was various instances of sexual assault, too many to describe, by various different people after that. And I live in a small, judgemental town which labelled me as a whore and a liar.

This may be triggering to some people:

My name is Kara. I wanted to share my story with others in similar situations, so here I go. Every since birth my parents have been abusive. I have vivid memories of it all as far back as when I was five. My mom, she was dysfunctional. She had cancer, and suffered from brain tumors. In my early years, she would yell and cry and scream at me. Smash dishes and lock me in the basement. Her memory was terrible, sometimes she'd forget me there for days. As I grew up, the basemen became Hell, and still to this day is. It was cold down there, and usually covered in blood. My mom would force me to clean it daily. I used to believe monsters lived down in the basement, my imagination would scare me the most when I was down there. My mom eventually passed away from the cancer, leaving me alone with my dad. I have a strange relationship with my dad, on one hand he beats me daily, and does other unthinkable things, but for some reason I never want to leave him. In fact, the abuse seemed normal until I came on 7cups and realized there is so much more that I was missing out on. Im still with my dad, and though I've been getting help for other mental issues, I don't think I'd ever be able to leave. I can understand now though how badly damaged the abuse has made me. From getting blackouts and changing personas, to wanting to hurt others and my friends, it's been a living nightmare.

If your suffering from abuse, you are not alone 💖💖💖

I'm not sure of it, but I needed to know if someone shared this opinion, too. I need to know if I'm going crazy: am I overreacting? Am I blaming my father for things every man does, every parent does? Is his behavior normal? Am I missing something obvious that everyone else sees? Is there something I misunderstand about the situation?

Because from my point of view, nothing about him is normal. I just guess I was trying to hide it from myself, how strange his eyes glint, how he makes faces that become the stuff of nightmares. How -- how scary he is most of the times. I'm serious, I've been scared of my dad for most of my life. I always want to hide when he comes in a room. Whenever he tells us he has a meeting and won't be at dinner, I start jumping from joy, I feel so relieved, and sometimes, I almost wish he didn't come back. dinner with my sister and my mom -- us three, alone, without him -- is always better and less stressful. I mean, it isn't the same for her. And it really isn't much better at all -- when dad isn't here, we yell at Mom, we criticize her. We can't get along; she's always doing something wrong, and her mistakes "annoy us". She's "insulting us" when she says something wrong. When she's angry, she's "being crazy", and "being stern". That, or her anger is an insult, and we get even more mad at her until she stops being angry and apologizes. This is basically a reenactment of how our father acts around her: we're treating her like garbage.