Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in: Wednesday, November 27th 2019

Hey my little Trauma Sub-Community turkeys 🦃 it is I @AriannaPink (Arianna, Ari, or Aria) back with another check-in for you guys, and this one is very special because it is Thanksgiving themed! Before we begin I wanted to ask how many of you celebrate Thanksgiving? Also for the ones who do celebrate what are your plans (if you dont mind sharing)? I hope all of you that do celebrate have a very safe, and terrific Thanksgiving! Now for the ones who dont celebrate hi Im Arianna welcome to this weeks highly decorated check-in it is good to have you! 🧡... My question for you guys in particular is what is your favorite kind of pie? 🤗🥧… Now if you missed last weeks check-in, and would like to tune in on what story was given, and what we last discussed please feel free to click here! Otherwise lets just jump right in to our main check-in question so we can get started with our story for the week!

Main Check-In Question: How are you doing today overall?

Okay now that thats out of the way, get cozy and comfy everyone because we will be starting the story time shortly!

Quick Little Disclaimer: Todays story is highly graphic so @MonBon was kind enough to summarize the graphic parts for us. I personally think you guys should be fine reading this summarized version, but if you feel like you cant or dont want to you dont have to. Just please answer the Main Check-in Question, and then click off here for your own mental health. However if you feel like you can read todays story please feel free to continue on with todays check-in! 😁...

Just like around Halloween the font will temporarily turn back to normal both out of respect for the survivor who courageously shared her story, but also for your reading convenience during the story portion of this thread.

Now without further ado here is Francescas Story!

Francesca is a woman from Ecuador who was in a marriage with an abuser. He abused her multiple times throughout their marriage, even while she was pregnant. Her baby was okay, but the abuse did not stop, and she felt trapped and scared. After their daughter was born, they all moved to the US, where the abuse escalated. It took multiple calls to the police for domestic disputes for him to finally be arrested. He threatened her life if she testified against him.

Domestic abuse became normal for them. She was trapped psychologically and financially. The abuse spread to their daughter, where it did not stop even after it was reported to the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services.

Francesca was in life threatening condition after a fight about continuing her education. She firmly believes it is a miracle she survived.

When Francesca has tried to share her story in the past, shes been met with disbelief or guilt trips on why she stayed. She feels this is due to the gross ignorance surrounding domestic violence. Here is the rest from Francesca herself:

People do not understand how difficult it is to escape. It is almost impossible to gather evidence, because the abuser will find a way to destroy it. No one on the outside knows what is happening because the abuser has the victim trapped and alone. He cuts her off from all outside interaction, and attempts to control her mind, and in many cases, he is successful.

If a woman does manage to escape, the justice system does little to help or protect her. I have had a domestic violence advocate tell me that there is only a 50/50 chance that someone will get convicted of domestic battery in my county, even in cases where there are bloody pictures, good witnesses, hospital reports, and other evidence. This is why women cannot simply just walk out the door. It is a real life or death risk to leave a man that believes he owns you. You could, and many have, die in the process. 4 out of 5 deaths due to domestic battery occur when a woman tries to leave.

I am asking for your help to educate the public on these issues. Women are beaten every day by their husbands, and it is a misdemeanor. You can get a felony charge for getting in a bar fight, but if you beat your wife, the justice system is sending a message that you will only get a slap on the wrist, if even that.

One of the most difficult problems I think battered women and children face is that the abuser isolates the victim to the point where most of the time there are no eyewitnesses. Because of this, it makes these cases very difficult to prosecute, but even worse, it makes the states attorneys office reluctant to even pursue it because they see it as a waste of money and resources.

Domestic violence is NOT a family matter. It is everyones business. It affects us all even if we are not directly abused. Women should be able to speak out against their abusers. They should be able to bring their abusers to justice. The public should be educated about what it means to be battered, and why it is so difficult to escape. With stiffer punishments, and better prevention, many women would be able to leave sooner. PLEASE help me and all women fight for what is fundamentally right.

Now to finish up this check-in I have a couple of questions for you guys...

#1. What was your favorite part of this story?

And #2. How do you feel after reading this story?

Thank you so much everyone for reading this story, participating in this check-in, and taking a chance on me! I will hopefully see you guys next week!!!

- @AriannaPink

P.S. If you would like to see the full/unedited version of todays story click here just please do it at your own discretion because you will see the whole version which may be highly triggering as this story is much more graphic than the usual stories I provide.

P.P.S. As Im still technically on self care, and am taking today to do all the necessary prep stuff for Thanksgiving tomorrow you will most likely still be getting responses from @MonBon not me. However Ill be sure to read every single one of your responses in my spare moments as I am truly thankful (no pun intended 😉) for every single ounce of participation from you guys! Thank you truly from the bottom of my heart! 🧡... Sorry for any inconveniences that my absence over these past couple of weeks may have brought/continue to bring but I promise Ill be back full time next Wednesday as I miss you guys a lot! 🧡...

Hey again its me Arianna back with our very special, Thanksgiving themed GIF for the week! I hope that all of you who celebrates, and acknowledges Thanksgiving as a holiday has a terrific, and very safe Thanksgiving with your families!!! If any of you would like to please feel free to share a story about how your guys Thanksgiving went down below once it has passed because Id be really interested to read those, and learn how different families celebrate a mutual holiday! Thank you so much in advance for your stories!!! 🤗🦃🧡...

P.S. Thank you guys for the greatest almost two months ever!!! 🧡🦃🥔🌽🥧...

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