Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Wednesday 2nd May 2018
Hi Trauma Family 
today I want to focus a bit on the "Positive Influencers" in our lives. Positive Influencers are people that have a positive influence upon others. Positive Influencers help to shape us and to deposit something deep within us.
So before we look at what a Positive Influencer looks like, lets first look at Negative Influencers. A Negative Influencer can be a person that critizises you alot, puts you down, constantly undermines you, second guesses you, brings discouragement, is negative, patronising or abusive towards you. For example years ago I watched an episode of the TV show "The Apprentice". In this episode one of the contestants was complaining about another contestant (lets call him Jim, I can't remember his name). Jim had a habit of critizising everyones ideas, and his constant negativity drained the other contestants. One of the contestants had compared Jim to one one of the "Tormentors" in the Harry Potter Novels. While another contestant said this " It's like a hot sunny day and you are sitting on the beach with your ice cream, and you are relatively happy. Then Jim approaches, and the clouds suddenly turn black, there is a sound of thunder, and the birds start falling from the sky!"
So what does a Positive Influencer look like?
1)A Positive Influencer will believe in you when no one else does
2)Understand the power of words to build you up
3)Can see positive things about you that no one else can see
4)Might show "tough love" to get you where you need to be
5)Inspire and encourage you to push harder, and reach higher
6)Stand with you through hardships, suffering and trials, offering comfort, encouragement and support.
7)Moves in random act of kindness
8)Exhibits strong leadership abilities
When I began to look back on my life I could clearly see who my Postive Influencers were/are. Interestingly enough, I began to see the people that had "fallen between the cracks". Those whose impact at the time may not of seemed that significant, but now with hindsight, I see how influential they really were.
Here are some quotes for present/future Positive Influencers:
"Dont focus on what others are doing wrong, instead be a light in their lives, a positive influence, a difference maker" (Joel Osteen)
"The people that influence you, are the people that believe in you (Brainyquote.com)"
"To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived, this is to have succeeded. (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
"Every day you are leading by example, whether you realise it or not, whether it is positive or negative, you are influencing those around you. (Bonny Cochrane)
1)So what Positive Influencers have been in your life?
2)What impact did they make?
3)If you did not have any Positive Influencers, are there any books, films, websites, stories that have had a positive influence on you? and how did this affect you?
4)Are you a Positive Influencer? If so, how are you impacting the lives of others.? For example supporting individuals on this site may seem like a small act, but it can have a great impact on someones life.
Also how has your day been? has it been a good day so far? a bad one? Let us know how you are doing
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@Amandisa16
I am having a horrendous positive day! I am working hard and doing my best and sometimes it is one step forwards one hundred backwards!
@warmheartedSoul77
Hey Warm glad that you are having a good day! Yea it can be difficult when you feel as if "you are taking one step forward and a hundred back. The key is to just keep on moving, even a small step forward is progress.
@warmheartedSoul77 heya! glad to hear you
My therapist, my mom, @agreeableKite4304, @Raveninthelabrynth, it
@BeeLeigh
Hi Bee. a great list of "Positive Influencers". I am pleased that your mom and your therapist have been a great influence on you. I know that some people have a love hate relationship with their therapists, so it's so cool that your therapist has been such a help to you. Also really pleased that here at 7 Cups you have found two more great "Positive Influencers" in @agreeableKite4304 and @Raveninthelabrynth
@Amandisa16
It
@BeeLeigh
Mhfmmm Hmmm Mff hmm!
Pft!!!
Aww shucks hon, just lookin out for a friend
@Raveninthelabrynth
But you are a positive force and I
@Amandisa16
It has been a tough week. I thought today was a bit of a turning point until my phone rang that my neighbor has died. I had to run home and comfort my kids, talk to the police and the ambulance. I saw her this morning, she was fine and now she is gone.
Right now I think I am my own worst enemy. If I look around me I have so many beautiful people gathered around me. I know they love and cherish me. I am very lucky.
I seem to be pulling back and I should not but I don't know to feel connected.
@MaschaV
Hi MaschaV so sorry to hear that your neighbour has died, sending lots of hugs your way. You said that you came home and comforted your kids, and talked to the police and ambulance. I suppose you have not had time to process this, as this must of been such a shock for you. I'm so glad that you have alot of "beautiful people gathered around you, that you know love you and cherish you". I am sure that you have been supporting others all day. So don't pull back now it's your turn to receive some love and support MaschaV, and your Trauma Family are also here for you MaschaV!
@Amandisa16
heya!
Positive influencers in my life are for example two really good friends of mine:)
they help me to believe in myself, they give me hope, support and love everyday!
i think, i am also a postive influencer for them. i care for them, support them in any way and share them my love as often as possible.
(and i also try to support and to share love to my 7cups family everyday!)
wishing everyone a lovely day <3
@Hope3729
Hey Hope it's such a blessing to have friends that help you to believe in yourself and give you hope. Knowing that whenever you are in need, or just having a bad day, that you can depend on them to support you. Also having friends that know how to give support, is very important, you're very lucky!
Yes Hope I definately think that you are a "Positive Influencer", as you are caring, supporting and showing love to your friends. I have seen your caring loving responses in the forums towards your 7 Cups family. Thank you for all your support
A current positive infulencer is my partner, he stays with me through all of the bad and encourages me to carry on when I feel overwhelmed. A previous positive influencer was a friend of my dad who was training to be a counsellor, she was there for me when no one else was.
I am not doing so well at the moment, I am stressed, which has caused my anxiety to get worse again and I have been struggling to leave the house. I'm also having trouble with bad memories coming to the surface, causing even more stress.
Love and hugs to all
@FloweringBunny
Hi Bunny! 🐰
Sorry to hear you
@FloweringBunny
Hi Bunny, your partner sounds really supportive. It's good that you have someone who will stick by you through the good and the bad. Sorry to hear that you have been feeling stressed and anxious, here is a link on "grounding techniques", that might help you with your anxiety. http://www.7cups.com/forum/TraumaticExperiencesCommunity_60/TraumaRecoveryResources_481/GroundingTechniquesandSelfSoothingSkillsforEmotionalregulation_115942/
Shoutout to @Rain45 for being the reason any of this even exists! Without you, Rain, none of us would have ever met, and some of us would have no support. You put all this together, and your tireless efforts have certainly not gone unnoticed!! 💜🌈
@BeeLeigh 🎉🎊❤️👏
@BeeLeigh
Yes shout out to @Rain45who is my current Positive Influencer. Always encouragings me to step out and do things that I normally would not have the courage to do. Also believing in me, which is really important particularly at times when I really have not believed in myself. She has taught me many new things, and is someone that has helped me to grow. She has been a really positive influence in my life ❤.
@BeeLeigh @rain45
Rain, you are a life saver!
1)So what Positive Influencers have been in your life?
My friends!
2)What impact did they make?
They've managed to drag me through the worst of times and give me advice.
3)If you did not have any Positive Influencers, are there any books, films, websites, stories that have had a positive influence on you? and how did this affect you?
I did have influencers, luckily.
4)Are you a Positive Influencer? If so, how are you impacting the lives of others.? For example supporting individuals on this site may seem like a small act, but it can have a great impact on someones life.
I feel like I am. I help my friend a lot while he's handling a storm of his own. I also try to share what I learn here with other friends that need it.
@SentientCozyTeacup
Hi Teacup I'm glad that your friends have been there to support you, and advise you. Yep you definately sound like a "Positive Influencer" to me! You mentioned that you are supporting your friend at the moment, and sharing what you have learned, with friends that need help. It sounds as if you are having quite an influence on them
Hi amandisa... I never had positive influencers in my life. But since coming on cups I have found so so many of them. @wizeakre is my main positive influencer and is someone who is inspirational. I have a ton more that connect with me in my diary but I'd be here all day tagging people. I am so grateful to have this new family here or else id be lost. Sending out a ton of love to Cal North Storm West Wize and if I forgot anyone sorry not thinking clearly
Forgot to add *hugs* and hearts 💕💕
@calmLake1999
Hi Calm great to hear that you have found some "Positive Influencers" on 7 Cups, I agree that @wizeake is inspirational ! So glad that you feel supported, and that you have found many Positve Influencers on this site. Kinda wams my heart to know, that those who have not had Positive Influencers in their lives, can find some here on 7 Cups!
Today my pysc MD said that I didn't need a pysc MD and then 10 min later he is making an appt for 2 weeks from now. So confusing. Do I really need this man in my life or not? Some say yes and some say no. I have no idea anymore.
First of all - a lil appolohie for not being very active in this amazing subcom....it is not you guys - its is so me....I have been super triggered , having so many flashbacks and SH while disasociating :(
Was kicked out of my trauma threatment center for disociating - wtf, right?
And now I am on a waiting list for trauma counseling thta is anywehre between 8 - 12 MONTHS!
Losing hope a bit that I can ever talk about what happened and how it has affected my life and how to move forward and heal and reclain my life back.
But - I am starting to do this now anyways - in other areas of my life - other than trauma work, because my chilhood trauma has stolen far too many years and too much of myself ( my entire self and my whole life up until now).
So - going to look for an in-network trauma therapist ( doesn't look like I have many choices that are good bc of my insurance) to see 2x a week, keep my shrink ( who called my flashbacks and SH during disasociaton : PYSCHOTIC!. ...and in 2 weeks - I apply for a job - all the while working towards going back to school to FINALLY finish my MA.
Blah, blah - just my reasons why I have not been on as much as I want/needed to.
1)So what Positive Influencers have been in your life?
I do have to say that I have been BLESSED througout my life with people that have come and gone , out of my life that were positive influencers. I am never without one and I think that has helped me greatly.
I am going to focus on the one I trust most now and that has effected me the most : my energy healer.
2)What impact did they make?
She saw the good in me when I could not see it and widdeled away , each time I see her - all that stands in my way of woning my rightful life. She and I do trauma reikie work - and I , each session, let go of the pain, humiliation, the fear....I let go of these energies that are not even mine so I can move forward in a healing way. She has done more for me than ANY therapist! I have weekley shifts where I just feel more and more ready to forgive, let go of shame and get on with my life.
So much more work to do - and its hard - but I am willing to do it. The time is now.
3)If you did not have any Positive Influencers, are there any books, films, websites, stories that have had a positive influence on you? and how did this affect you?
Heehehehe - I have one <3
4)Are you a Positive Influencer? If so, how are you impacting the lives of others.? For example supporting individuals on this site may seem like a small act, but it can have a great impact on someones life.
Yes ! I beleive I am very much a positive influencer - to a fault. Taking others needs and putting them in front of mmine - something that I am working on bc I know I can not hel panother fill thier cup if mine is empty.
I try to be a cheerleader for all i come in contact with and especially those dear to me. I accept ppl as they are - not asking them to change or be different.
I am always wanting the best for the other - bc just because another person has something wonderful - that does not take away all the wonderful and good that I have in my life <3
Also how has your day been? has it been a good day so far? a bad one? Let us know how you are doing
Eh, described already why I have not been active.
But right now feeling good :)
Have plans in order and the next step and the next and the next laid out to find a trauma counselr in my insurance network so that I can get help 2x a week, see shrink and energy healer - and I think that will be enough to keep me More than afloat - I can start to learn to drop the baggage anf fly.
@blissedNblessed Having childhood traumas must be tough for you :( I'm so glad you are focusing on other areas of your life and not letting that trauma take completely control of your life. Good Luck with Everything!
@blissedNblessed
Hi Blissed No need to apologise with regards to your activity in the forums. We are just happy to have you here! Sorry to hear about the triggers, flashbacks, SH and dissociation. It sounds as if you are going through such a difficult time, sending hugs. You said that you were kicked out of your trauma treatment centre for dissociating! I'm completely confused by that, what were they thinking? Please don't loose hope, you may find a therapist that fits you perfectly. A Therapist that will be able to help you to claim your life back.
You are taking such positive steps 1)applying for jobs 2) working towards going back to school to finish your MA, well done!
Yes, you are very blessed to of had Positive Influencers all throughout your life. I'm glad that your current "Positive Influencer" has helped you to let go of pain, humiliation etc. and that you feel that she is helping you to move forward.
You have made an important point about putting other peoples needs before your own. This is the down side of being a "Positive Influencer. You have to practice self care, and make sure that you are okay and make sure that your own needs are being attended to. Or as you said, you will not be able to help anyone else. Blissed you said " I try to be a cheerleader for all I come into contact with.....I accept people as they are.....I am always wanting the best for others". You sound like a great "Positive Influencer" a real blessing to those around you!
You have your next steps planned, and I am looking forward to seeing you fly!
@Amandisa16
<3
thank you!
<3
that means so much to me . :)
