Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Wednesday 18th April 2018
Hi Trauma family
, I hope you are all well. So for today's check-in I want to talk about "vision", particularly the kind of vision that sustains us through difficult times. So for example as a child I had a communication disability, and had to practice my speech therapy exercises every day. This was at times really hard work, but my vision was that some day I would be able to speak fluently. Therefore I continued practising even through the difficult times. There were many times that I became discouraged and wanted to give up. However I kept my eyes on what my future could look like, and what opportunites might be available to me, if I continued to practice. I will give another example, I recently watched a TV programme about a prisoner who had received a lengthy prison sentence. He new that prison life would be difficult, but he said that he was keeping his eyes fixed upon the day that he would finally be released, to be reunited with his wife and kids.
One of my favourite historical figures is Abraham Lincoln. For Abraham had a vision to become the President of the United States. However there were a steady stream of defeats and failures before his dream was realised. In 1832 he lost his job and was defeated in legislature. In 1883 his business failed (both of them), however he was elected to legislature. Abraham was engaged to be married to his childhood sweetheart Ann Rutledge, but she suddenly died and this broke his heart. Ann's death led to Abraham having a mental breakdown the following year in 1836. Abraham remained in bed for six months. Over the next few years there were more defeats. Defeated for Speaker, defeated for nomination for Congress, rejected for Land Officer, defeated for Senate, the list goes on and on! However despite all these setbacks, in 1860 Abraham Lincoln became the President of the United States.
Abraham had a vision, a vision that must of strenghened him through all the pain, loss, rejection and heartbreak. During the time of his breakdown he stayed in bed for six months, but one day he made the decision to get up and continue. So what is making you get out of bed in the morning and continue to fight? What is the vision that is sustaining you? What continues to push you forward, whether that be for healing and wholeness, job opportunities, healing of family relationships etc
Also how has your day been? This is a safe place, your space xxx
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Speakers Corner - Life after Trauma audio event
This Event is now Open!!!!
To often Child Abuse renders it's victims silent, unheard, invisible. They often feel unable to turn to anyone. Afraid of being blamed, judged, rejected, shunned, being disbelieved, afraid of the consequences if they tell etc. And above all else afraid of being hurt once more.
This event allows Survivors to speak about recovery, hope, about how to support others, how to help children who are still going through this today, how you can prevent children from suffering what they went through. They want you to listen to their messages. For you to give them the voice they never had as children.
Please see here for more details join this great event and hear the Survivors of Child Abuse have a voice now!
How Can Survivors Stories Help Future Generations Video event Apr 16th-22nd 2018
April is Child Abuse Prevention & Awareness Month and we would love to create a video with the lessons you learned from your trauma stories. The aim is to help children of future generations avoid abuse.
We would like you to create your own video clip, picture or slideshow and send in via the submission form (below). This form will be anonymous unless you wish to add your name to your submission. You can send in video clips you have made to explain to viewers what you have learned. Please do not include specific details of your trauma. This video is about helping future generations to stay safe or get help if they are being abused.
Instructions for submissions are here:
@Raveninthelabrynth
I have send in my video today 😀
@MaschaV
Looking forward to seeing it Mascha
Hi amandisa... My day has been full of klutzy moments that have left me bruised and with a little less skin.. Also been in a laugh cry sort of mood all day.. I start giggling then burst into tears which is odd..
I've never really thought about what keeps me going but maybe its just that yearning for a peaceful content life without fear threats or intimidation .. Hope ill get their eventually 
@calmLake1999
Hi Calm, I sometimes have days like that, when I actually think I'm going to break a bone! I can't tell you how many times I have banged my little toes this week! You mentioned that you were laughing one minute and crying the other. Emotions can be strange and catch us unaware when we least expect it. Maybe something good is happening, and subconcious emotions are being released.
A vision for a peaceful contentful life without fear threats or intimidation. Now that's a vision! I believe you will get there Calm, you have suffered so much, but are still fighting back. I believe your vision will become a reality Calm.
@calmLake1999
You'll get there Calm 💕 *hugs*
And one more announcement folks.
This is to let everyone know that due to folk taking breaks and heavy workloads outside cups, and us running several events this week and next week, we have decided that for this week open chat is cancelled. We hope that folk will be back next week and open chat will be up and running next week. We havent cancelled open chat in quite a long time but we also think our team mates need a break too and with the next few events lined up we hope things will lighten the load a little, and we hope to celebrate our teams first birthday celebration too Sometimes we have to look after our team and take a break as a team as well. So no open chat this week folks, but please do feel free to take part and participate in the next few events, which we hope will bring some laughter and fun and please do offer some suggestions and participate in our birthday celebrations. We hope open chat will be up and running on Wednesday 25th April.
We appologise for any inconveniance.
@Amandisa16 Awesome check in Amandisa, sorry I had to spam it.
@Raveninthelabrynth
No worries Raven
@Amandisa16 My vision is a dream I had one night when the peer abuse had been really bad the day before. I dreamed that I walked into an office and there was this beautiful woman sitting at this desk in this small publishers house. She looked at me smiling and was like: "Hey, I know you. Do you recognise me? I am you!" And she sat me down and gave me hot chocolate and told me about her job at this small publishers house that she loves. Then she took me to a small beautiful house. We walked inside and she got kissed by her husband and two kids ran up to her. A girl with messy dark hair such as I have and a little boy with the same blonde hair as my siblings have. They both had really wide smiles and I loved them at first sight. And as soon as I woke up, I knew that I had to fight as long as possible, because I really, really craved for this dream to come true. It hasn't come true yet, but at the moment I'm studying at university to get this job at a publishers house. This dream is going to become reality. It has too.
@sincerePark336
Hi sincere wow! so the vision that is sustaining you, came from a dream! What an encouraging dream, to see yourself in the future, particularly if your current situation looks completely different. I love the fact that the person that sat you down and gave you some hot chocolate was you!!! This dream seems to have given you some direction professionally, as you said that you are now studying at Uni to move into publishing. Also personally, you can hold onto that vision of having your own family. You are now fighting to make this dream a reality, and I do believe that your dream will come true! thanks for sharing Parks.
hi!
mmm...i don't really know what 'vision' i have. it seems like every dream i ever have has been ripped away from me, y'know? i just don't really have the heart to hope anymore. i guess i want to become more independent and have a family of my own but like...i really doubt that's ever going to happen.
anyways, i've been...uuuuugh not so good? my anixety's been bad and i think i've made a (not-so-good) breakthrough about some trauma and i want to talk about it with my mom but i'm afraid she'll get mad/upset.
@Moonberrycat
I always wanted to have four kids. That was my dream. I wanted to adopt four kids of different races. I grew up dealing with a lot of racism from the other kids as one of the only white kids in a majority black school, and even as a little kid I would tell my mom that I wanted to have four kids that were four different colors so they wouldn't hate anyone for the color of their skin. Specifically, as a little kid, it went as far as me saying I'd adopt a black kid from Africa (I know that's not a country but I was seriously like 5 when I started saying that lol), a Mexican kid, a white kid from Russia, and a Chinese kid. That was my dream. That's never going to happen. My life has played out in a way that there's just no way for that to happen. BUT. I did get that dream in an amended way. I sponsor four kids. Three girls and a boy. My girls live in Haiti, Burkina Faso, and the US. My boy lives in Egypt. Haiti and Egypt are 13, Burkina Faso is turning 12 next week, and the US is 10. I didn't really lose my dream, I just had to change the parameters. I wanted to be a social worker. Well, that might not happen, but I am finally in school for my Bachelor's degree, and I work in hospice, so I work with social workers every day to help dying people and their families. I always wanted to travel and visit all the places I'd only read about. That one did happen. I've been to 8 foreign countries. However, it was only made possible by my grampa dying and my gramma surprising me and my brother by using the life insurance money to take us on summer trips around Europe. Sometimes we get exactly what we'd always wanted, but we have to sacrifice to do so. Other times we need to amend our dreams, because we tend to set them when we're young anyway. You can absolutely become independent. That is a completely attainable goal. Do what is best for you, Moon. If you want to talk to your mom about it, start off by telling her that you have something you'd like to discuss with her but she has to promise she won't get mad or upset, but rather have an actual, respectful discussion with you. You don't have to lose your dreams, Moon, they might just need a few adjustments 💜
@BeeLeigh
Hey Bee sorry to hear that you had to deal with racism at school. When I think about your dream of adopting kids of different races I get this image in my head of Angelie Jolie and her brood. Isnt it' interesting how even through great adversity, that vision can be birthed. For example Martin Luther Kings iconic "I had a dream speech" was birthed out of oppression and injustice .
Now you are sponsoring four children, of different races, living in different nations. I love what you said about not loosing your dreams, but just having to make a few adjustments. This has given me food for thought!
@Moonberrycat
Hi Moonberry I understand how dissappointing it can be when our dreams do not become a reality. It can be very discouraging and lead to feelings of hopelessness. However, your dreams of being more independent and having your own family may still materialise. You never know what's around the corner, and none of us know how our "book will end". No matter how badly things may of started for us, this does not mean that things will end badly. I still believe in happy endings, so hang on in there Moon.
I hope your anxiety is better today, you mentioned that you wanted to talk with your mom about some trauma stuff, hope this went okay.
@Amandisa16
thank you, both of you for your kind words!
i ended up talking to my mom, and she took it really well, even if I did end up triggering myself by talking about it.
@Moonberrycat
Oh Moon so pleased for you , really glad that your mom reacted well. It's so important for trauma survivors to feel heard and to be listened to.
Woke up feeling better than the past week. Wednesday is therapy day which usually makes me a bit anxious. Today I was focused. I have a few specific areas I'm working on and even though I knew the session was going to be difficult, I was(or thought I was) prepared.
I don't even know how I got home. Everything around me feels so heavy. Just taking a breath is an effort.
@affectionateNorth4018
Therapy day can be a tough one. Go easy on yourself and watch some tv or something to ease your mind. I like to pick up sitcoms I haven't seen before and then just binge watch the whole thing when I'm not doing well lol. I hope you've been able to relax a bit since therapy. Be kind to yourself 💜
@affectionateNorth4018
Hi North I know that yesterday was a tough day for you being "therapy day". I hope that today ihas been a better day for you
@Amandisa16
A great topic... I think we all need vision, or if not a vision like somebody like Abraham Lincoln, then at least a reason to keep fighting, sth like a purpose...
For me it's definitely my little one, he's my reason to get out of bed, to go outside, to live... Well I can't tell him there's nothing outside to be afraid of and not bring myself to going outside... When he can't sleep, I tell him it was only a bad dream, it can't hurt you, you are safe, everything will be ok, so I somehow have to believe that myself... He's the reason why I just had to go through all of this, so I can understand him better.... So my vision is giving him the chance to live a content and self-determined life...
@courteousNorth5140
I think that is an absolutely beautiful vision North! You're so right! You can't tell him it's not scary outside if you then show him that you're scared of going outside, because he'll be scared of the outside too then. My mom was kinda freaked out by her parents' basement, and that's translated into me being afraid of basements in general. I mean I still go into them because I understand it's completely irrational, but I have to keep mentally reminding myself there's nothing to be afraid of while I'm down there. She also inadvertently instilled a lifelong fear of the dark in me! That one's super fun to deal with haha! I think it's really brave to face your own fears in order to show your son he's safe. You should be proud of yourself for that 💜
@courteousNorth5140
Hi North , so your focus is on your son, he is the vision that stirs you, and gets you out of bed in the morning. He is the reason that you keep fighting. Your vision is to give him the chance to live a contented and self-determined life, great vision North! How I wish that all parents shared the vision, that you and others have expressed on this thread, for the well-being of their children.
My dream right now is for winter to finally end. Although I do quite enjoy the updates we get from INDOT 🤣🤣🤣
@BeeLeigh
Hi Bee, yesterday in England summer officially started! after months of snow and heavy rain, finally got some sun!! today was officially the hottest day of the year 26c.
@Amandisa16
Wow!! It wasn
@BeeLeigh I like the first paragraph, make me smile
made me darn it
@AmalieAnne
Yeah, their updates are pretty funny! 😊💜
