Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check In - Monday August 13th 2018
😃 Hey!!! It's MONDAY!!!! (Or almost) 😃 Please remember this is your SAFE place to share - so WE can show some CARE ❤️❤️ Don't what to do anything but say HI, that's okay to!!! ❤️
Today's topic - Our Counselor's / Therapist. What do you think their main goal is? More importantly, what is our main goal in seeing them? When I first started working with my counselor, I had NO clue why I was there. I was terrified! I literally didn't talk for I think 4 months? And it took almost a year to even look at him. I still find that hard. So, if healing is important and it is possible, which it is, what makes thearpy work FOR YOU!!! What helps with your growing and ability to talk sometimes. What is the hardest part about being able to say things - even if you like your counselor/ therapist. Is it shame? Fear? Please feel free to share anything you'd like to. And here is a SAFE hug 🤗 ❤️❤️
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@KLM3278
Great Thread Post check in! 😊😊!!
Keep up the great work that you do in the Trauma community!! 😊😊😊😊!
Take care!! 😊😊😊😊!!
@GuardianAngel77
❤️
@KLM3278
👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋!!😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆
@GuardianAngel77
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻❤️
@KLM3278
💖💖💖💖💖
@KLM3278
I don't know what I need to tell...
@humorousBeing8966
That's ok, humorous ❤️ Maybe you keep going at your own pace and whatever you need to share will find it's way out. It can be real scary which is why even coming here takes bravery!!! Even typing words is a first step! Don't feel bad or sad for not knowing. Just keep trying. ❤️
@KLM3278
I don't like it how she immediately names emotions that I took a long time trying to find out or didn't know or don't want to feel like I experienced...I don't know... I just don't like being one or more steps behind...I need to figure it all out before I tell...
@humorousBeing8966
That does sound confusing. ❤️ I was thinking the same thing @DasiyLion said. Can you talk with your therapist about it? Maybe she doesn't even realize your uncomfortable? ❤️
@KLM3278
I just don't know what to say to her all the time...I find the bad thoughts about hurting myself come back all the time though....especially after the sessions 
@humorousBeing8966
Well, can't you just simply tell her exactly what you told me? ❤️❤️ Start there❤️❤️It sounds important to let her know those thoughts because she will want to help you! You can do this! ❤️
@KLM3278
That's a good question
Idk I think vaguely they are supposed to at least try to help you
Help you to not necessarily have a better life bc you can't always change your circumstance but to feel better in your life.
Also they're supposed to protect you and not harm you
@wittySpruce8187
I think what you said is right. They should try and help you and make you feel safe and cared for. It can be scary to have someone care for you. It can not seem real. I struggle with that a lot, I don't know if you do? Have you had any positive experiences with your counselor or therapist?
@KLM3278
Hi thanks for understanding and yea love in general brings up a lot of fear in me
I guess I have had some good experiences with therapist but overall they were just awful so..I don't like to think about it
@wittySpruce8187
I understand. Here is a safe hug ❤️ if you want one ❤️
I gave up on Therapist. Mine has totally sucked. I come here to 7cups
@scarletPear1945
I'm sorry you had such bad experiences with therapists. Do you ever think about trying again to work with one? Very glad you find here helpful ❤️
@KLM3278
No way am I trying that again. I went against my better judgment when I did try therapy and it set me back so bad. My therapist was plain old abusive. Made my HORNS COME OUT.
. She made a big issue out of everything I said left me no place to talk to her. She too was a trauma victim and I think she was not ready to take on clients yet.
@scarletPear1945
Oh I'm sorry. I heard that can happen. But maybe the next one you try would end up being the opposite of this last person. There's so many different peoppe in the world. Maybe trying again could be worth it? ❤️
@KLM3278
Thank's
@scarletPear1945
Hi Scarlet, yes sadly this wasn't a good experience for you at all. Maybe reminds us to be aware when it doesn't seem to be going right for us. To speak up and stop if necessary. Much love. x
@rozie
Rozie, you are so right. I kept thinking things would change but I let it go on too long.
Trusting your inner voice and finding the courage to speak up and out might have resulted in a whole different outcome
Thanks for the support.
@scarletPear1945
Hi :) Just scrolling through. I wanted to say I have had a therapist before who might have re-traumatized me in a way. I understand. (I went only for several sessions and I stopped going when I realized what she was doing and that she was wrong). I don
@singercrystalspirit
Thanks for sharing that I am not sure I will ever try again at this point in life but I admire those who do connect to someone that is a help I've had 3 therapists in life and it almost cost my life and my family I've been blessed to be able to keep them both and not rock my boat anymore
.
I think their main goal is to help us feel safer and less fearful/shameful and find a way to deal with what happened.
As for what is the hardest part about saying things/opening up, I'd have to say the guilt and shame of what happened.
@sunnyAcai8948
Hi ☀️- I think guilt and shame are major things for sure. Have you been able to find ways to get past these? ❤️
@KLM3278
I have a therapist that I go to when I can afford it. I don't have the money to go regularly. She knows about my past, but she doesn't know. She knows what's happened, at least generally, but I can't talk about it. Every time that I try I shut down completely. Even talking about the feelings around it I sometimes shut down. It's fear and shame. The fear is my inability to separate past experiences from the present. I don't feel safe, ever. The shame is that deep rooted belief that I've done something horribly wrong. That I am somehow defective and deserve what has happened.
Unrelated to the topic, I'm a complete wreak right now. Fighting off tears, anxiety, panic complete panic. My brain and I are at war and I don't think I'm going to win today.
@practicalIdeal2007
I'm SO glad you came on here and shared. It sounds like you're having a horrible day. Can you try grounding? Breathing? Soothing? What are somethings you like to do to calm down? As for what you shared, i hate that cost is stopping you from getting help. But glad you have someone you can see occasionally, It really does take time to triust someone enough to talk and share. My hope is some day you will be able to believe none of what happened to you was deserved. It's NOT your fault. ❤️🐻
@KLM3278
Thank you for your response. I am trying the things that have worked for me. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. I have my weighted blanket on, something to fidget with, an ice pack on my neck (I don't know why I find that soothing but I do) and I just put on a funny TV show. I am hoping these things help. I am so horrible at grounding. My focus is not good. It really helps me when i can manage to do it right.
@practicalIdeal2007
Safe HUG! I think it's great you hcae foind things that work for you! 😃 It's ok if it doesn't work everytime. Just keep trying. What funny Tv ahow do you like? 🤗
@KLM3278
I'm doing a little better now. It's still a rough day. Thank you.
@practicalIdeal2007
Safe HUG if it helps ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🐻
@KLM3278 - Hi KLM. You are lead of today's post??!! :) I'm writing just "Hi" for now ... need to come back later to answer 'for real' because these are REALLY good questions! Especially for me at the point where I am with my counselor/therapist right now. Until later, Platy
@cyanPlatypus6370
Yes I am! Thank you for saying HI. I look forward to when you write later ❤️
I love you all Trauma fam! I don't know what will happen so just know that I love you and I'm sorry for everything. Things will be okay soon just be patient trauma fam! You are mean everything to me and I care for all of you. Keep being supportive and kind to everyone ❤️
Im blind right now and m not sure what will happen bc I might also come back. But I just wanted you all to know that. Don't worry about me
@sensitiveShade5337
:O I hope you are okay shade! <3 *gentle hugs* I hope to see you around soon! <3 :)
@Lilibuth12
Thank you! I'm trying to find the safest place for me and my pain.
@sensitiveShade5337
Safe Hug if it helps ❤️
@sensitiveShade5337
❤️❤️
@sensitiveShade5337
Hi, take care friend. If somethings bothering you, take rest. Im sure whatever it is , you can overcome.
@sensitiveShade5337
Thank you Shade. We love you too, and are here for you. x
Therapy for me is to help me lead a stable life where I can do all the things I want to do, and remember all the things I need to do. Its mainly a way of looking after myself, reminding myself I am important and that I deserve respect.
When I first started therapy with my current therapist it took me a very long time to open up about anything new, I had had therapy before and had things I was comfortable talking about but I resisted talking about many other things, I didn't see why I needed to drag up my childhood again when it was so painful and I didn't want to speak about it.
It took maybe a year for me to stop fightiing therapy and to start participating in it, but I am glad I did. Its helped alot and shes so supportive that I am grateful that she stuck with me and didn't let me just run away (after I tried to quit again and again lol).
In many ways I see therapists as the parental figure I wish I had had, gentle, not pushing their own thoughts and opinions on to me, just a non judgemental way to discuss and explore life with all this challenges.
The hardest part about being able to say things is that I am scared I will say something wrong. I've spent my whole life struggling to communicate with people, either through fear or not being able to get the words out right. I am worried I'll be judged for what I say, and I am scared to feel the fear I felt again.
@Lilibuth12
Hi Lillibith. Thank you for sharing so openly. I really understand that fear. I love how your therapist wouldn't let you run away. She seems great. I think you're right to that they're a good parent figure. Mine is like that to me to. Do you ever worry you'll disappoint your therapist? Is that part of the fear maybe?
Don't ever forget how you deserve to have a voice and be heard!!!!! ❤️
@KLM3278
I often worry that I am going to disappoint my therapist! I dunno I respect her so in turn I guess I want her to respect me, which is hard when I am baring my deepest fears and concerns. I often worry I am complaining too much or being childish in the way I think, I always worry I am the client she wishes would just go away ahaha. I guess in that way I feel more comfortable that I am paying her/its her job because I can always reassure myself that no matter what she can't abandon me just because I am annoying her xD.
She does often notice though and will discuss those fears with me. I often worry that I depend on her too much, because to me shes someone that even if my boyfriiend etc. left me I would still have her to talk to. Obs if I lost my job I might not, but hey xD always something that can go wrong lol.
Ahh idk. Therapists are confusing. People you bare you soul to yet know so little about, and trust with your deepest thoughts yet you don't have any hold on them yourself. I need that aspect, but also makes me feel unstable I guess.
@Lilibuth12
Wow! What you said at the end really really just hit me. We literally have NO control over them. We really just have to TRUST in them. That sounds like life. So maybe therapy and healing are helping to teach us about what we can and can't control. All we can control is how we react and respond. Which is hard!!!!!!!! And part of the healing is teaching is trust. What it is. What it looks like. What it can be. What it should be. And respect to! You really got it. Wow! Thank you! Respect in all it's different ways. Self. Mutual. I'm sure your therapist respects you. Even if you are childish?? That's ok!!!! Children should be respected because they are humans. We didn't deserve the lack of respect we got or the hurts and bad stuff. ❤️❤️ I think you and your therapist have a special unbreakable bond. That is a gift for sure!! ❤️
Im glad to b here im a survivor
@comfortableStar20
Yes!!!! Big safe HUG ❤️
@comfortableStar20
Hi Star
Welcome to trauma community, or as we like to call it the trauma Family
Yay on surviving, that is indeen not always easy
