Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check In - Monday August 13th 2018
😃 Hey!!! It's MONDAY!!!! (Or almost) 😃 Please remember this is your SAFE place to share - so WE can show some CARE ❤️❤️ Don't what to do anything but say HI, that's okay to!!! ❤️
Today's topic - Our Counselor's / Therapist. What do you think their main goal is? More importantly, what is our main goal in seeing them? When I first started working with my counselor, I had NO clue why I was there. I was terrified! I literally didn't talk for I think 4 months? And it took almost a year to even look at him. I still find that hard. So, if healing is important and it is possible, which it is, what makes thearpy work FOR YOU!!! What helps with your growing and ability to talk sometimes. What is the hardest part about being able to say things - even if you like your counselor/ therapist. Is it shame? Fear? Please feel free to share anything you'd like to. And here is a SAFE hug 🤗 ❤️❤️
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I have tried therapy and I like it. I just do not have the money for it and where my emotions are either in the dumps or fine I guess my brain tells me I don't really need it even though I totally need it.
I'm freaking out
I would tell this to my friends but they don't understand and I don't want to sadden them
I feel like I'll never be free not of him not of other people
I have worked so hard to separate myself from what happened and get away from them but they still have me.
No matter where I go or how much I grow I still feel trapped
And there's other stuff to and it all's the same I thought I would be free by now bc I'm an adult but we need his money so I'm still here and i hate it
And when I go to college how is that even gonna after..Idk
I can't love my best friend who is so so good and amazing and good to me bc how am I gonna live first of all I've had a lot of messed up relationships sure but I am just maybe about to live my free life I've never had anything real like that
I don't want to ruin anything. I just want them all to be safe and good I'm so scared ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
@wittySpruce8187
I'm sorry you feel so so scared. I get it. That all sounds difficult. I don't understand it all but just know we all are here to support YOU!!!! And it makes me sad you feel scared. I hope you have been able to do something for yourself today that maybe has soothed you a little. ❤️ Remember you are not alone!!!
@KLM3278
Thank you 💜
@KLM3278 I've never been to a therapist. I come from a family that still seems to see mental illness as something to be ashamed off. When I told them that a friend of mine, who dropped out of school because of depression and burn-out-syndrome, enrolled in school again, they were making fun of how "lazy" it was of her to drop out in the first place. I find that incredibly hurtful. I mean, I'm planning to see a therapist someday in the future, but I guess I would have to do it in secret...
But I really, really ask you not to judge them. They are going through a hard time. So am I. My grandpa is ill. He had cancer when I was a little child, ever since then he had problems with eating. Now he stopped eating completely. I've been at his place today and he is looking really, really bad. We currently don't know if he will survive the night. And if he survives we don't know if he'll make it through the next.
@sincerePark336
Oh I won't judge them at all. I understand because my famy didn't believe in counseling. I started mine in secret actaully. To be very very honest, it is still something I sorta do all for me, on my own, and don't really tell people. I figure it's not their business. ❤️ Also, I am SOOOO sorry about your grandfather. I also know how horirble cancer is. Please know I'll pray for him and for you and your family. I hope you can find sometime to spend just being with him maybe. It's hard. Safe hug!!!! ❤️
@sincerePark336
Agree its not easy when your family views mental illness in this way, and sadly there are still many people who do this.Yet if its a physical illness there is care and understanding. which is what everyone needs and not the hurt and misunderstanding. Lots still to do in raising awareness. I hope that when you are ready you will find a good therapist and do this for yourself.
So sorry to hear about your grandad. This is always a tough time to go through. Hoping you are able to say your goodbyes and support each other. x
Their main goal is to treat patients/clients. Our main goal is to get better. Not sure in what capacity. What helps is that they're someone who I see on a professional basis only. I couldn't discuss the things I have with my therapist with someone I saw in my personal life. I also wouldn't be able to get the same help and advice because I don't know anyone professionally trained. So confidentiality is a big thing for me. And I think the fact I feel like a weight has been lifted when I talk also helps me. The hardest thing is not knowing what is going on. I sometimes don't know how I feel but I can't say "I don't know" all the time. It's also just really difficult to talk about things. And the guilt/shame I feel when talking about certain things makes it difficult.
For today's check in, I'd like to share something. I was in town with my mum and we were crossing a road. I noticed the person I had my trauma therapy assessment with. She was going to the bank. I freaked out. I couldn't stop thinking about the session. I was sort of frozen (my mum didn't notice). The person (I still can't remember her name!) didn't say anything which I'm grateful for because that would involve explaining to my mum how I knew them. Still, it was hard seeing them outside of that building. I only ever saw my previous counsellor at university, I never saw him around university.
I've been struggling with flashbacks again recently which is causing difficulty sleeping. No update on a therapy date yet, still on the waiting list. Hope it will be soon.
@asheroo92
I imagine seeing them was a shock! That has happened to me. Once was actually funny, but made me JUMP about 20 feet high!!!! My poor counselor. It wasn't funny at the time, but now it's funny. I was coming out of the bathroom, literally the same second he turned the cornner - so i basically opened the door to his face!!! It was SO awful. Later, he apologized and said it was just one of those things. But we talked about it. What happened to you, well, it sounds like your counselor respected your desire for confidentiality. I get scared about that also. HUG!!!! Thank you for sharing. I hope you're able to find someone to continue working with 😃❤️
@KLM3278
Thank you! I'm glad I'm not the only one with that experience. I thought I was being a bit silly. I'm glad you were able to talk about it afterwards! That must've been quite helpful. Yeah, respecting my confidentiality was really good for me. She said she would put it in my file that if they had to contact my mum for anything, they wouldn't mention what type of organisation they were which made me feel better.
Thank you for the hug! I really hope a space is available soon. There was an abuse case that got a lot of public attention here recently and that usually spikes the amount of calls they get so right now, there's a waiting list but she gave me resources and I have here :)
Hi 
I have only seen university counsellors, there is a limit of 6 sessions, and unfortunately they are not very qualified. I wasn't comfortable talking about what was going on to the first counsellor, and the second one really didn't understand at all, I was treated like a child who didn't understand how the world works. But now I am going through an assessment for therapy, and the therapist I have talked to was very nice and hopefully I can start therapy by the end of the year.
Love and hugs
@FloweringBunny
Hey FloweringBunny! I'm SO glad you are able to get to see someone out of school. Hopefully, you'll really like your counselor and will be able to do good work together 😃 Let us know how it goes!
@FloweringBunny
I'm glad you're giving it another go! Finding the right therapist can be great and really helps us to move forward. I also seen a counsellor through university and it was 6 sessions as well which really sucked! I'm sorry you didn't have a positive experience with them. I had a good relationship with mine and I was able to talk. He was qualified and made me feel at ease so I was able to share. I seen another therapist a few months after my last session with him and I just couldn't bond with them.
I hope you find a therapist you can trust and it works out for you :)
@asheroo92
Yes you make a really good point .. to find a therapist you can trust is so important. Its in the relationship that the therapy is done. As you said sometimes we don't bond with a therapist and its ok to decide the fit isn't there for you, and to find another therapist. Thank you for sharing this with us. x
My counselor right now is amazing and our end goal is to try and not be triggered by so many things. She is very understanding and I'm glad I have her. I just wish things would love a little faster. But I'm just super impatient. I think therapists are helpful to everyone, who doesn't need someone to talk to every now and then.
Good Morning
I spend the time trying to learn to help myself by changing my mindset and my perspective and how to not be so reactive when things are not good. ACCEPTANCE and Gratitude.