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asheroo92
2,950 M Hopeful Heart 7
PathStep 61 Compassion hearts164 Forum posts274 Forum upvotes448 Current upvotes448 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2019 Member sinceNovember 20, 2017
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My counsellor doesn
Trauma Support / by asheroo92
Last post
 November 10th, 2018
...See more Ive been going to a sexual abuse/assault counsellor for 3 weeks now and its been helpful up until yesterdays session. I get the feeling she thinks I was raped and I wasnt. I havent told her exactly what happened but now it feels like I cant tell her because shell see it as not a big deal. ️ trigger warning ️ I was molested as a child by my brother. It happened once, as far as I can remember. On the second occasion, we were teenagers. I was 13 so he wouldve been 15/16. He forced himself on top of me, held my wrists down and said it was time to practice sex. It didnt go any further than that because I said if he didnt get off, Id scream and tell our mum. because I wasnt raped, Ive always had an issue with it not being a big deal. And now that my counsellor thinks I was, I dont know how to tell her different because I dont want her to say what Ive thought. I dont want to lie and go along with what she thinks but I also dont want to tell her. My current thought (however irrational it may be) is that shell tell me it wasnt sexual assault/abuse and that we cant continue with counselling...
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Was it assault/abuse? Sexual content warning
Trauma Support / by asheroo92
Last post
 April 17th, 2018
...See more So the first instance that I can remember happened when I was younger than 11. I can
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Asheroo's Journey *trigger warning for sexual abuse*
Trauma Support / by asheroo92
Last post
 July 26th, 2018
...See more Before I started typing, I was tapping on my latop and staring around my room, unsure of what to write. The first time I talked about my abuse was several years ago on twitter to my best friend. Since then, I have told a total of 5 people, one of them was in person. Finally talking in person about the abuse I went through as a child was overwhelming. It was a safe space; I talked to a helpline on the phone and when I got referred to a counsellor, I told them. It was a lot easier because they already had my details. They didn't raise the topic and they made it clear we would only discuss it if/when I was comfortable with it. At the moment, I'm not at all comfortable. It brought back memories and on Saturday morning, I relapsed with self-harm. I'm trying to keep things calm and make sure that I am around people and getting out of the house rather than allowing myself to shut down. I know that if I do, it will take me a while to come out of. My goal is to feel comfortable talking about the abuse with my counsellor. I think if I get to that point, I'll find it easier to deal with (I hope!)
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