Traumatic Experiences Community Daily CheckIn - Friday 16th June 2017
No check-in thread today? Well fine I'll ninja one! Sorry if this causes chaos 
So it's Friday again. What's your biggest achievement of this week? And how are you going to give yourself a break and reward yourself? And remember, for some of us just staying alive and keeping our head above water is achievement enough. You are enough. And if nothing has been going well, do share it with us too, we are here to support each other. I hope you all have something to be proud of and something to look forward to though, you deserve it. 
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@caterpillargirl
@hereigoagain a ninja check in indeed!
@hereigoagain Hey hereigo fantastic checkin post. @PhoenixPatronus and @TheAsh are down for fridays to post the checkin but I dont know if they are planning to have done this or forgot etc. However, its a fantastic post so heres my contribution :)
My biggest achievement this week.....mmmm having almost finished decorating my bedroom having brought new shelving for the room and turning it into more of a bedroom rather than an office! Even managing to gloss without messing it up which is what I usually do LOL Other achievements.....having picked lots of cherries, gooseberries, blackcurrents and loganberries from my garden all tended by my own gentle hands LOL Im pretty sure i have achieved other things such as catching up with my posts and messages, and having done well with work, but I will leave my achievements for the week at this :)
How am I going to reward or treat myself - by vegging out infront of the telly under my duvet and watch some decent programme series and to chill and just enjoy being relaxed and at ease
What's been your biggest achievement this week?
@dancingRainbow45
Thank you :D
Those are some nice achievements, yummy homegrown berries and I'm sure an actual bedroom will be nicer to sleep in than an office ;) So basically your achievements are rewards in themselves already haha.
My achievements? Well I guess I managed a difficult balance between controlling my behavior and preventing further damage to my relationships, and going crazy alone because of not doing anything about how I feel. Oh and I finally got myself a first appointment with a therapist. I feel sorry for her already lol. Rewards? A nice little trip, a fun little flirt, "looking at cute" lol, now I'll "ignore bad internet" and "go outdoor" for a bit ;-)
@hereigoagain Sounds like you have ample reason to pat yourself on the back too! 😎😸
@melliotm
hehe thanks ;)
Thanks for going rogue ninja-stylez, hereigoagain! 😎😸
K. Right. My achievements (after enduring the by-now requisite unsettled sleep last night):
I made/ate pizza for lunch (ok 'made' = 'remove from freezer, open box, insert into oven' - it's a significant culinary level up from 'fill bowl with cereal' or 'unwrap granola bar').
I went to the store this morning, because kitties needed food (which they greatly appreciated).
I took a short walk in the sun a few moments ago for some vitamin D exposure therapy and a little exercise (left the house TWICE today).
I played Flow (my new favourite puzzle game) on my phone for a bit.
A few tiny but meaningful steps, because as you said, quite astutely btw:
"For some of us just staying alive and keeping our head above water is achievement enough. You are enough."
🤘🏾🐐
@melliotm
You're welcome 
And hey, you've been quite active considering the unsettled sleep and everything! Pizza is a vegetable, right? ;-) Taking care of your kitties, walking in the sun, enjoying a game, go you! I hope you're giving yourself credits 
@hereigoagain Heh. Thank you. It wasn't easy.
Maximum demotivation this week, today being no exception. Too much BAD INTERNET lately. Gonna refrain from immersing myself too deeply in breaking/ongoing news that only serves to overstimulate my easily rattled nerves and amplify a sense of helplessness in me at the moment.
@melliotm
When you lack motivation everything is EVEN more difficult, so even more back-patting for you please! You're sounding quite disciplined here and like you're making wise decisions for yourself. 
@hereigoagain 
@melliotm
I definitely need to make this part of my five a day 😂
@DeborahUK 
Don't forget to drink your milk!
@melliotm
This is fab! I've obviously been eating all the wrong foods for so long. Out with the cabbage and almond milk. In with the pizza and ice cream. Whoop whoop!
@DeborahUK Now we just need for cake to be declared a "fruit" and life is beeeeautiful. 🍰
@melliotm
mmhhh 5 pieces of apple cake = 5 a day
@DeborahUK
I guess the trick is to eat a varied diet i.e. pizza and ice cream AND cabbage and almond milk 
@hereigoagain
Preferably not in the same bowl 😉
@melliotm. Hehe I love that post!
@melliotm
Dang now I'm hungry for some... vegetable
I'm not sure what is my biggest achievement of the week. I know I've had some. It feels kind of like one of those growing and learning weeks. I reward myself along the way for which I usually feel guilty.
I'll have to think of a different reward system or a different feeling in regards to it.
I think maybe self-care has been a contibruting factor to both my achievements and rewards.
Forcng myself to do things I don't want to do is probably my biggest achievement.
Speaking of which, need to eat a salad and do a chore.
I 'd like to screw up the nerve to go outside. I need to do laundry anyway.
@themainjane
Growing and learning is awesome Have you tried writing down your achievements in a journal of some sort? Also what might have contributed to you doing well, I like that you're trying to analyze these things and looking for further improvements. Then maybe when you feel guilty about rewarding yourself or when feeling down you can look at your list of achievements for "proof"? I don't know what to think about forcing yourself to do things you don't want to do, personally I rather try and look at things from a different angle and find out why I kinda want to do them to get to a better place. But it seems like you're doing an awesome job at the moment, yay
@hereigoagain
thanks, and maybe forcing myself isn't all there is to it. I do see the benefits, am learning to be accept where I am and be proud of small strides.
Believe it or not, for as much as I write on here, I hate journaling. And haven't been able to bring myself to read much of anything except for some links from on here.
But you know what? For now that is okay. It's a start. :)
@themainjane
Everyone is being so wise and good to themselves today, I'm proud of you all 
Are you creative in some other way that you could use for recording your achievements and what has worked for you? Drawing, painting, modeling clay, songs, a voice log.....? But you're right, for now you can give yourself a well-deserved break
I guess my greatest achievement this week is seeing my daughter succeed in athletics. Not Only did she receive 3rd place in her individual event, but her and her teammates were second in the city wide relay race. It shows me know that the sacrifices I make to give her a better life are actually paying off. Sorry guys Iam getting quite emotional here.
@philosophicalShip9444
Makes it all worth it doesn't it? I can sense your pride, and why not eh? We invest so much into those we love, especially the little people, and to see them happy and achieving things is a great reward :)
@DeborahUK yes and wise words my friend. It took alot of years and pushing to get her to that point.... not easy but worth it when you see they payoff.
@philosophicalShip9444
Wow! And no need to apologize for getting emotional, I'm sure you're in good company there
@hereigoagain Thank you. And a wonderful Check in today!
@philosophicalShip9444
Aww, thank YOU!
@hereigoagain
Hey ninja, good one!
Greatest achievement......hmm, I think maybe getting through the week as the temperature rose here in the UK. I hate the heat!
But it's the weekend, and I have friends over tomorrow, so just going to relax in the garden - good food, good company, good time!
@DeborahUK
Haha, looks like you've got good coping skills and support in place for dealing with your (luxury) problem, congrats
My greatest achievement this week was FINALLY finding a person/social worker who is willing, and able to manage my $2000 Housing Initiative Grant that will enable me to move out of my unhealthy, substandard rental house that is in a bad section of the city that has many crimes/break-ins, drug dealers and users, shootings, and prostitution. I was awarded this grant a year ago, but the Government Housing Corporation that will be paying out the $2000 cannot give the money directly to me. The grant stipulates that a case manager has to fuction as a mediator to do all the necessary paper work, and pay out the $2000. The grant covers my first month's rent, move-in and pet deposits, as well as furniture and appliances if there is money remaining after the deposits are made. At the time I was granted the award, I had a case worker to manage the grant, but I was hospitalized last September due to the severity of my depression and suicidal ideations and desires, and the day of my dischange from the hospital, the government-based community mental health clinic I utilized immediately, without any advance notice disqualified me from receiving any more case management services. I DO qualify for services due to my severe depression, PTSD, and autism, but the agency disqualified me on bogus grounds by claimimg that I had different diagnosis/a type of mental illness/disorder that is ineligable for case management services. They KNEW I didn't have the bogus diagnosis, and I called them out on their lie by pointing them to two decades of psy records that counter their claim. So, to getting back to my accomplishment this week..I spent 15+ (very grueling) months battling that government mental health clinic via email, meeting, and made at least 100 phone calls to people in that agency, their superiors, different levels of local and state government, and even attorneys. All I heard for over a year, from person after person, and agency after agency was, "Sorry, but I can't help you." I cannot express how absolutely exasperating fighting for the grant funds was, and it was SO frustrating because there was $2000 designated for my use...that I could NOT.touch. It was a blood, sweat, and waterfall of tears war...and finally I am meeting with my new case worker on Monday who says she CAN help me. The next challenge will be to find affordable housing for my myself, and my three AWESOME dogs in tow. Housing in my city is difficult to come by because there is a large university in the city, and college students snatch up most all of the affordable rental homes. I know I should be doing a wildly & crazy, happy victory dance with my achievement, but I'm so worn out from standing up for myself, and striving for justice...that I have just been in collapse mode all week. I'm not very good at rewarding myself for anything, so I haven't the slightest idea what I could do, buy, or get for myself. I'm utra practical, and pretty broke..which makes this mission even tougher. I'm wide open to suggestions.
@hereigoagain
VERY well done!! <3