Traumatic Experience Community Daily Check-in for Friday, July 6th

@KLM3278

Hey :) :)

My week has not been too roller-coastery! It has been more smooth and hilly. Monday started out not so great, but then by the end of the day it was really good. And then my good mood lasted until midday Thursday (yesterday) when it went downhill. Today I wokeup in a funk, too. Sometimes I wonder how much of my moods is hormonal (I am on day 30 of my cycle today -- so, about to begin), and how much is related to other things. It seems so hard to say. Often I want to pin much of it on hormones, especially like this when it seems sort of out of my control.

Of course, it's undeniable that things like positive thinking and affirmations will help no matter what the cause is. But I think it would help me to blame myself less if I knew, and it would also help me to be more accurate in what I chose to do to soothe myself if I knew the cause. At least that's what I tell myself. My therapist encourages me to figure out what would make me feel better in any given moment and to go for that. And she encourages me to stay positive and have a positive mindset, which I admit is still very challenging for me. But I am getting better at it!

I also had the realization this week that I have been identifying with my feelings (emotions) all this time, and that THEY AREN'T ME. I've heard this over and over again in various ways, but this week it clicked experientially. A feeling (emotion) that we feel is the same as a shiver if we're cold -- it's a sensation. Or like feeling someone touch our hand. Or like feeling hungry, or like feeling full. Sadness is no different. If I feel sad, it has nothing to do with me. It's a feeling that I am currently experiencing. So I think this will be quite helpful, to keep this in mind. Although I admit, I still don't know how to "process" the sadness or what to do about it. Because, for instance, yesterday when sadness came, I had much difficulty pinning down WHY. And I'm not sure that if I don't know why, I know what to do about it. When I feel cold, for example, I know to either... temporarily put up with it, turn on the heat, find a blanket, find more clothes, leave the room, go inside, etc. Depending on the situation.

For instance, right now I feel: Lonely (I think this has something to do with my job and the amount of time I spend alone plus my roommates being out of town right now), Worried (about my ability to handle everything on my plate and which decisions to make), Distrustful (about my therapist; she said something I didn't like the other day and we haven't addressed it entirely yet). I am sure I feel some other things, too, but those three are sticking out. Hey, it's exciting that I know why I feel them! It seems overwhelming though to have so many emotions giving me messages to do something about and I'm like whoa, I'm trying the best I can, I only have so much time and energy and brain space!

So, sleep. Has been difficult for me off and on historically. Recently it's harder again, because I started a medication that disrupts REM sleep. It MIGHT be a side effect that's beginning to wear off, so I'm feeling hopeful about that. I think the answer is probably different for everyone, but lately I have found that before bed, one Valerian Root pill and one Passionflower pill (herbal supplements) taken before bed are helping me to fall asleep and then to stay asleep. I also had a friend tell me about this sleep spray composed of essential oils, I forgot what it's called but it's like $10 for a 2 oz. bottle, and I've been using that too, and I do think it is helping a little bit especially in conjunction with the pills, just to help me feel more cozy. And, of course, I avoid caffeine in the afternoon and evening (other than cocoa) otherwise it's a disaster trying to sleep. Last night I tried a technique of rubbing my belly and saying affirmations that a friend suggested to me, and I am on the fence whether it helped me to get back to sleep or not. It may have helped, but the sleep was kind of fitful and my dreams were weird. Also, it seems to help me sleep when I don't view any screens (computer, phone) for an hour before bedtime. I'm not as consistent with that as I ideally would like to be, because sometimes I have a lot to get done. Although I will say -- I think part of the whole point of putting screens away (I know the main point is circadian rhythm) is getting ourselves into the pattern of BEING DONE FOR THE DAY and having done enough for the day and letting our brains wind down. That emotional pattern I think is harder to get into, but I've noticed it catching on a little bit (although when my to-do list is long and I don't have time to get to enough of it, it's harder to relax at the end of the day). I'm looking forward to reading other peoples' tips.

Feeling very unsettled right now. Have huge issues trusting people and been talking to a listener for the past couple of weeks and slowly starting to open up to them and when I

@KLM3278 Oh sleep is such a tough one for many Trauma Survivors for lots of different reasons and I know many of you suffer with night terrors, nightmares and sleep walking. Also trauma for many of you occured at nighttime so its often a vivid reminder of what happened to you and so you can often fight wanting to go to sleep. Sleep deprivation is common amongst those who have experienced posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Research shows that at least 50% of individuals with PTSD have experienced recurring nightmares, and the majority of people with PTSD report either difficulty falling asleep (insomnia) or trouble staying asleep long enough to feel rested (maintenance insomnia). Individuals with PTSD may be hyper-vigilant or hyper-aroused, and this can affect how they fall and/or remain asleep. Some may also use alcohol or drugs to mute their constant alertness, and this can negatively affect sleep to a significant degree. Many medications used to treat PTSD have the same result. But sleep is also important because this is the time the body repairs itself and gives you the much needed time to rest so you can fight another day. During sleep, your body is working to support healthy brain function and maintain your physical health. The damage from sleep deficiency can harm you over time or can harm you very quickly. For example, ongoing sleep deficiency can raise your risk for some chronic health problems. It also can affect how well you think, react, work, learn, and get along with others. Studies have shown that sleep deficiency alters activity in some parts of the brain. If you're sleep deficient, you may have trouble making decisions, solving problems, controlling your emotions and behaviour, and coping with change. Sleep deficiency also has been linked to depression, suicide, and risk-taking behaviour.

There are some things you could try to help you get a better sleep pattern and these suggestions are taken from healthyplace.com.

Journaling - Writing can help you relax and put your day in perspective, helping you to set aside those ruminating thoughts that might usually keep you awake.

Massage - This is especially helpful if you find yourself frequently tense. Massage not only relaxes the muscles but can also help to decrease anxiety and depression.

Bedtime routines - Our bodies respond well to consistent bedtimes and wake times. Also, we become used to the cues of a bedtime routine (shower, snack, read, etc. ) helping us prepare for sleep.

Extra time for sleep - If you find yourself waking during the night and unable to fall back to sleep for an hour or longer, consider going to bed earlier to account for hours you are awake in the middle of the night. This extra time also helps ease the mental stress of worrying that you won't get enough sleep.

Imagery - Save your pleasant thoughts and ideas for revisiting and planning at bedtime. This imagery helps calm the mind and ease bodily tension.

Masking sounds - White noise, brown noise, pink noise, fans, clocks, or even washing machines have been reported to help people drown out nighttime sounds and sleep more soundly.

Lighting changes - Use only soft, low lighting in the evening and at bedtime. If you use a phone or tablet while in bed, consider using an application or overlay to change the screen of your device to a softer or tinted light. Blue is a recommended color for encouraging sleep.

Talk to your doctor - There are medications and supplements available that can help with persistent sleep concerns. These needs are best discussed with your physician, along with your diagnosis of PTSD.

I can usually quite easily get what I call aeroplane sleep- you know where your snoozing by your aware of whats going on around you.

Thats a huge step for me and its been like that since I went travelling and being able to sleep while around other people was essential.

I have no answers or quick fixes for sleep issues as I struggled for years upon years with then but facing my fears and giving my body no other option but to sleep was what worked for me.

I do still struggle with getting restful sleep,but ive learnt in order to that I need to be in a completly silent enviroment where I can lock the door and no one else is around.

Then I take in my surroundings,reasure myself that there is no possibly way anything bad can happen and I can totally relax.

Unfortunately I dont have that opportunity often enough but "aeroplane sleep" where im still aware of whats going on around me works for me because although I am easily alerted it also find I can go back to sleep easily too❤

But thank you so much for this topic because as rain said I know its a huge issue for many people here and there are already some brilliant tips here on trying to overcome those issues ❤

I wish I could handle sleep, I haven't slept well the past few days and I'm finding it hard to trust anyone at all not even my family.. I just want it to end and be okay.

Oof, feels like I'm at the end of the roller coaster I've been riding the past two or so weeks. Had quite a bit on my mind, thought, read, did stuff, and now I'm tired!

(almost going to shut my eyes now...)

I sleep like a rock. I've been busy so it's been a while since I napped before going to sleep. Like a nap for about 1 hour before bedtime, spend 20 minutes getting ready for the next day or whatever, then go to bed. Pure bliss!

@KLM3278 hi Klm :) I struggle with sleep too, nothing seemed to help me . My mind somehow would go into over drive at night no matter how much I would try t stay positive distract myself.

So recently i've started working out and that seems to have put my mind at ease a lot. And sleep I kind of just hit the bed at night :p.. It's been years since I've just rested like this..

So this seems to work. For me