How do you manage your emotions?
This is a good question! @brownpaperplanes
I manage my emotions by writing journals, meditating and spending time in nature. Sometimes it just helps us to embrace our emotions than be strict with them. What about you paperplanes? (:
How do you find time to be in nature when you are busy and spend a lot of time at work?
@brownpaperplanes yes good question.
I am on a practice where I listen closely to my voice and be aware of inner frustration. When I detect the volume of my voice rising or my inner frustration appearing, then I clamp down on control and start pausing before I write or say anything. Sometimes I have to excuse myself and leave the room and finish the conversation later when I am calmer.
@brownpaperplanes
Good question to ask!
Something that helps me is when I have to cope with feelings of irritability, anxiety or anger (for example) is using the stop technique several times a day.
- S: Stop. Whatever you're doing, just pause momentarily.
- T: Take a breath. Re-connect with your breath. The breath is an anchor to the present moment.
- O: Observe. Notice what is happening. What is happening inside you, and outside of you? ...
- P: Proceed. Continue doing what you were doing.
Meditation, positive self talk and self compassion are also a big ones for me, so taking time to sit down and comforting myself.
@brownpaperplanes
I feel angry is very intense for me. Last time I even started to feel headache, but I manage to reduce it by taking a walk to cool down.
For me it is difficult to accept negative emotions, I keep fighting them..
@mary31
Anger is a big emotion and can really affect the body badly. Taking a walk or moving around helps me too. I used to fight negative emotions as well but realized it made them only stronger. So, now, I try to accept their presence and depending on the emotion either do self care or if there's a lot of negative energy do some sort of work-out.
Hmm...
Journaling, going for walks, doing hobbies like drawing, taking a quick nap, watching mindless or funny videos to distract myself and...not really a good thing but ... Eating edibles sometimes to subdue my emotions. Depending on the type of edibles, it'll either make me sleepy enough to drift off into sleep OR keep my mind extra focus, so that's around the time I'll clean the house or do chores to keep my mind off of stuff.
To be honest, I've tried talking to people in person about my emotions, but that doesn't help me...personally it just burns me out instead and makes me paranoid that someone will use my emotional distress against me later or give me unwanted advice because they think they know me, when they don't...
I'm paranoid, because I grew up in a dysfunctional family and that's how my parents were... And I've had a fair share of toxic friends. But I digress.
@ImpudentIncognito I agree on discussing emotions with others. I find the more I focus on negative or challenging emotions, the more I get caught up in them.
@ImpudentIncognito
I understand. Has anyone felt like this? I also grew up in a dysfunctional home/family and I was taught both deliberately and subconsciously, to suppress my emotions. I was considered overly awkward, weak and immature (even after becoming an adult). Rejection became a real thing to me. Mostly because even when statements like: "I'm proud of what you did", "You are smart and it doesn't surprise me.", "I bragged about you at work again" it would largely be followed by actions that showed the opposite. So, from a young age, I learned that you trust people by their actions and not necessarily based on their words or intentions.
I too write things down. And interacting with nature helps me get grounded as well.
This is what I do when I can't pinpoint what's wrong. After I choose a quiet place with no distractions I:
1. Use a pen/pencil & paper, I close my eyes, take a big breath and just start doodling.
*No definite idea of what I'm drawing. Just making squiggles here, lines there, circles... just letting the pen glide around the paper freely until I want to stop. Eyes closed.
2. Open my eyes and see what I drew, usually looks like a giant plate of spaghetti, a complete mess that even Picasso would wonder 😂. But, I take a 2nd real close look at the drawing.
3. To my surprise, the doodles don't seem random at all. Sometimes, the strokes make up letters, numbers, and small images (flowers, waves, initials, dates).
4. Then, I write down everything I can identify (see #3) in a separate piece of paper.
5. Read the list. Ask myself if these images seem familiar or does it mean anything to me. To my surprise, the images pin point the things I've had been dealing with either lately or in the past.
(Ex. Initials: turns out the person I had a fall out with has the same letters in its name. Sunflower: I was worried about my bff's health and our favorite flower is the sunflower).
*At first, this discovery freaked me out! I asked a therapist what she thought about. She said that it kind of resembles the ink blot test, and that our subconscious is a marvelous place that has intrigued researchers for centuries. And that, many times, we have the answers right before us but, we can't "see" them until we confront ourselves in a non-judgemental way.
My opinion: Maybe our subconscious has a lot more recorded that what we give it credit for. And...maybe once we confront what is taking center stage, we can heal.
I hope this made sense.
Peace ✌
I try to not think of anything once things became too overwhelming to deal with. It's how I get thru each day for over a year now.
@kindTurtle3738
Not getting caught up in the hurricane of thoughts in your mind sounds helpful, thanks for sharing. I hope things will improve soon for you.
I keep a journal, meditation, listen to music or a good podcast, go for walks, play with my stuffed animals, cook a good meal or order good takeout. I deep breathe. I take a mood stabilizer called lamotrigine and anxiety meds.
@greenWalker8543
Great ways to support yourself!
I try to not think about it and do something I enjoy.
@KDWolfHunter
Doing something you enjoy is a great idea and can work well as a mental reset.
By taking a step back from that situation and try to relax and then think how to respond
@NotFound20 good suggestion!
@brownpaperplanes
Oh you know. The usual, "get-really-furious-followed-by-self-loathing-then-contemplate-suicide-then-suppress-it-by-fixating-purely-on-work-and-the-present-thereby-numbing-myself." Sometimes with a podcast, sometimes just raw silence.
You know, living the dream!