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brownpaperplanes
3,954 M Seeking Light 4
PathStep 9 Compassion hearts96 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes14 Current upvotes14 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2024 Member sinceAugust 6, 2021
Recent forum posts
Houseplants
35 & Over Community / by brownpaperplanes
Last post
 May 8th, 2022
...See more Does anybody know how to keep houseplants alive? What do they want? What are their demands???
How do you manage your emotions?
7 Cups Online Therapy / by brownpaperplanes
Last post
 May 22nd, 2022
...See more How do you go about managing your emotions?
BPD and Meaningful Relationships
Personality Disorders Support / by brownpaperplanes
Last post
 October 7th, 2021
...See more I was diagnosed in 2016. Since then I found a life partner and we've been together four years. We are doing well. I learnt that the sooner you can teach yourself to give up on meaningful relationships - not an emotionally repressive denial but a genuine peaceful acceptance of yourself alone in your existence - the sooner you can start to focus on your personal development. No human is really built to be alone, especially for years on end, but the harder you fight it the worse it will get. During this time you need to be getting professional help, someone who specializes in BPD. Then, out of that personal development, you may have better opportunities for healthier relationships, but don't bet on them and don't get attached anywhere before the 2 year mark. Don't get attached to anyone you pay for their time, but remember that even if you pay them they are people too, so don't be a d%€k. Be careful who you get attached to. Nobody is perfect, but you don't deserve abuse and neither does the other person. Learn something HEALTHY from every failed relationship, really learn it and integrate it into you - this is the hardest part next to the loneliness. Settle for what works and is the healthiest, even if it isn't perfect or even great. If it is healthy and fine, take it and make an effort of it. If it fails naturally, or you mess up and it fails, you will be miserable, don't deny it, don't seek attention, don't wallow, don't be mean to the other person. Be sad and cope but don't be impulsive. It's stupid but I ask myself what would Goofy do (because Goofy from The Goofy Movie is a good parent and we need to be parenting ourselves). If dad-Goofy wouldn't do it, it is probably immature and toxic, and will make things worse. Don't indulge your own toxic behavior, it will never ever EVER help you. Lastly, find a constructive way to deal with anger and bitterness, talk therapy is good but don't saturate your relationship with it. Use that person you pay for this type of stuff, again though - they are people too. I hope this helps. Good luck.
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