Feeling hopeless and scared…
Well this is my first post on here. I had an emotional affair with a man two years ago. We were friends for 15 years and in the last years it developed into an emotional attachment. It was never physical I trusted him with my life. I told him things in confidence about my other friends like a human does and after I decided our relationship needed to end I wanted to give my partner and I a chance. I started to wonder if the issues I was having with my partner were because of him and I just realized he was very toxic. When I decided to end it, he wrote to my parents how awful human being I was… to some of my co-workers, in-laws…
I had to put a peace bond (aka restraining order) I am in Canada thats why its peace bonds. Then it stopped he agreed to leave me alone. For the past two years Ive felt free and got my life back.
A week ago he sent me a message from a bogus FB account which he opened a website and published all the personal things Ive shared about my husband, my friends and so on…
I feel such like a horrible human being and the first day I really thought if I want to get rid of this issue there is only one way that I needed to commit suicide. I have no suicidal tendencies Ive has bad thoughts but never acted on anything….
i went to my lawyer and “civil” there is not much I can do but criminally there might be. Now I went to the police and showed them all the website and they said he’s a crazy person and just out of his freaking mind….
that being said I am scared now that after they investigate and there is enough to move forward with criminal charges will he just send that site to the whole world? This will destroy my friends life and do irreparable damage… I just cant live my life in fear or him until I die someday I am 40 years old… but then if I just dont do anything is this helping? I want him to stop!! This is ridiculous and I know I did wrong had an affair but I cant for this with my life..
i know this is heavy I just dont know where to turn and I feel so alone and helpless… I just feel my life is over…
@LotusFlower285 I am sorry you were hoodwinked into sharing your confidences with a person that after the fact found out he was unreliable.
Maybe you need to talk to your partner husband first before they find out about that site. Maybe if you feel there are serious issues in your relationship you may need couples therapy to work them out.
What has ended is the innocence and trust you had. I am so sorry the world is such a vicious place. I have hard lessons too and they do not come without pain, but that was not the end of my life. One phase ended and after a while a new phase begain.
Seem professional help if you feel so much despair. If you are in crisis then please refer to some of the links you can find in this doc. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zTpWn0FjXG1jf8XB99EBXn591PDQj6t2wdLU9pARsgE/edit
Hope you get the support you are looking for.
@soulsings thank you for the support and answering it really meant lot to me feeling heard. I did tell my husband about this two years ago and he was very supportive and we went to couples therapy and it helped us tremendously. The issue is that this asshole sorry the term but haven't heard anything in the last two years but now it's like he comes back with a vengeance and honestly I made mistakes but I've moved on it's life we are human.
I do have an amazing therapist here on 7 cups that has really helped me on my journey...
I feel a little better now but somedays are good and some are less good.. I am trying to float and just get by and not to be hard on myself.
I wrote here because even though I have a great therapist sometimes I feel a bit alone.
@LotusFlower285 I hear you. I think we all feel alone sometimes. These discussions are on topics that are supportive and well moderated so they are safe. https://www.7cups.com/forum/50OverCommunity_193/TeamToolsandTeamUpdates_1705/50plusDiscussionsScheduleandTopics_207920/
If you find these fit into your schedule feel free to attend. These rooms only popup 5 minutes before the discussion in case you are checking other times you will not see them.
I’m so sorry to hear that. Do not feel horrible we all make mistakes & have transgressions we aren’t happy about.
@nene1215 thank you so much for responding I needed to feel I wasn't alone... I do know of course we are never alone but sometimes knowing another human can have compassion really helps...
You’re very welcome——and always a judge free zone with me
@LotusFlower285
I'm terribly sorry for what happened to you, this is a lot to deal with! It's hard when you think you're safe and have to find out that someone betrayed you in such a way. It might be worthwhile to consider, having an honest talk with your husband and maybe also with those people who are important to you. I hope there will be a good outcome at the end and remember you can always connect to a listener if you feel to share more about what's going on 💙.
@amiablePeace77 Thank you for responding to my post, honestly I would have never thought someone could betray me like that. I know all his secrets and could write a book about him but I am not that type of person even after being bullied and blackmailed like that. I really am not that type but it's hard to just sit there and watch this unfold.
@LotusFlower285
I hope that you find the support you need right now here on the site. What you are going through is rough and I'm glad you do not want to do something bad which is against your nature. To me revenge might make it even worse, it never leads to healing. Focusing on self-care and learning from it does though. I wish you all the best for this present situation. 💙