September 9-15 questions and answers by Lisa, the therapist, THREAD CLOSED do NOT post more questions please
Hi everyone!
Welcome to the first in a series of monthly events called "The Therapist's Office". This is a thread dedicated to your questions about therapy and how you might benefit in coping with particular challenges you face in your life. The therapist’s answers to your questions will follow some time within a week after the thread is started, in this case by the 15th of September. To subscribe, so you can follow this thread and the therapist's answers, either post a question in this thread and/or hit the subscribe button in the upper right to get alerts when new posts are made to this thread.
We welcome your questions, but what type of questions should I ask? We welcome questions about therapy and coping skills for particular mental health challenges you face.
This month's therapist answering questions is Lisa Meighan MBPsS, Counselor and Director of 7 Cups online therapy program. To learn more about them check out their profile.
Please avoid asking the therapist for specific advice like "should I date this guy after meeting him online?" You may ask the therapist for coping options with the particular mental health challenges you face and they can share options that you may want to consider, but this is not an advice column. It is more like a place to learn about how online therapy at 7 Cups could help you deal with life and the many challenges it presents.
If you have any customer service-related questions please email mailto:support@7cups.com as they cannot be answered in this thread. Finally, please avoid questions about medication and drugs as these are best suited to be answered by your physician, and anything not normally discussed in 7 Cups forums.
If you have a question about this thread, please feel free to PM me https://www.7cups.com/@soulsings
I am subscribed to this thread and eager to hear your questions and the therapist's answers.
Hey @soulsings , thankyou for this initiative! Looks like a great idea and I am certain it could benefit alot of people 😊 thankyou for your help and contributions , @LisaMeighanMBPsS ❤
I'd love to know your thoughts on Self compassion and Self compassion exercises as part of a coping tool .
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Hello there, We are so glad that you are enjoying participating in this initiative and thank you for your contribution! Most of us have not learned how to show compassion towards ourselves and this can lead to further issues such as low self-esteem, depression, and feeling like we are not deserving of love and affection (which we all are!).
A useful way to see how much compassion you have for yourself is to ask yourself to reflect on how you internally speak about yourself and if you would speak to any of your friends the way you speak to yourself. If the answer is no, then you should begin cultivating self-compassion in a way that works for you including exercises like you mentioned in your message. As a coping skill, self-compassion exercises are one of the gold standard forms of working on personal growth and your own mental health. Please feel free to share some of your wonderful exercises in the online therapy sub-community. We would love to hear them!
Hey @LisaMeighanMBPsS , thankyou for the wonderful suggestion and great messages! You are very much appreciated.
I'd ofcourse like to share the resources with everyone else too ! ❤
@SunisshiningandsoareyouThank you for your kind feedback. You are very much appreciated here too and I look forward to reading your resources :)
@soulsings
Thank you so much for this wonderful opportunity.
I would like to know about effective therapy for patients dealing with Schizophrenia? Also, what are the best ways of helping a relative who is Schizophrenic? I spoke to them today and they sounded so cheerful, soon I remember that it is temporary and they would again have to suffer after few months and it made me feel devastated thinking how short is their span of happiness and well-being. 💔
@lyricalAngel70
Hello there,
Firstly, I am so sorry to hear about your relative’s diagnosis because supporting a loved one who is living with schizophrenia is really challenging. You sound like a very supportive and loving family member to ask the question in this thread and reach out for support.
With regards to effective therapeutic approaches, CBT has been shown to be helpful in treating schizophrenia. Also, the therapeutic alliance needs to be positive between the individual and their therapist for the person suffering from schizophrenia to really feel safe opening up.
A few ways in which you can help your relative who is schizophrenic:
The most important aspect of supporting a loved one is to look after yourself because you will provide the best support when you are able to look after yourself properly.
If you feel comfortable to do so, try to gather resources about schizophrenia and learn more about the illness so you can better help your relative. You might begin by learning about the symptoms and how you can best provide support that is tailored to the specific symptoms that your relative is suffering from.
Support your loved one with healthcare appointments (if possible)
Set realistic expectations - some things might not be possible at a certain time for your relative and tell yourself that is okay and you can try to do the activity again when the time feels appropriate.
Finally, your relative’s diagnosis can feel extremely daunting but with treatment, your relative can go on to have a better quality of life. Also with supportive family members, like you, it is going to really help your loved one feel empowered, supported, and hopeful.
@LisaMeighanMBPsS
Extremely thankful to you for all your inputs and expert insight. At least now I am hopeful that I will be able to help him keep all those points in mind. I like the idea of educating myself more about the symptoms, treatment, and everything else because I believe that educating the masses empowers them to support each other better. I am gonna gain more knowledge on the subject and would also educate his mother. He lives with his mother and my grandma. Unfortunately, our grandma is a little impatient and thinks that he is just being melodramatic. Therefore, she never takes care of providing him with a positive environment. It is surely a challenge when you have very few people supporting your ideologies. Stigma related to schizophrenia takes more lives than the actual disease. I wish he gets the support he deserves. Thanks again for all those encouraging and kind statements. ❤💜
God bless you!
Love,
-Angel
@lyricalAngel70
There is always hope Angel and just because your relative has received a diagnosis of schizophrenia doesn't mean that your relative cannot lead a healthy and happy life. There is so much stigma attached to mental illness and it's such a sad situation but with openness and awareness, we can try to turn it around, step by step. I think your approach of teaching those around your relative is a great idea!! Hopefully, it will become like a ripple effect and your relative will get all of the support possible. You are most welcome and I am glad it helped. I really wish you and your relative all the very best! Thank you for getting involved! 😊
Hi I’m feeling super anxious about a test I think is important that causing me to be nervous stressed out is there anyway I can calm my self I feel I’ll mess it somehow
@Kaypezzy I am sorry you are feeling nervous about a test. In case lisa does not answer in time you might try these things. Get enough sleep, eat healthy food, do NOT do an all nighter, study for an hour without radio or computer or email, really good focus then take a short break. Wish you a good study period to prepare for the test.
@soulsings - Thank you for your useful comments :) @Kaypezzy
Hi there, Anxiety facing a test feels so overwhelming because you really just want to do your best! Try to think of all of the reasons why you can do this and all of the evidence that suggests you are going to do well. Anxiety can make us feel like we are not going to achieve our best but it’s not usually accurate. Often when we are experience anxiety facing a test it is because we may have perfectionist tendencies. Remember that you are going to do your best and that is really all that matters :) Try to be as prepared as possible and get lots of sleep because that will help you be in the best physical state to sit the test. I wish you all the very best and sending all of my positive thoughts your way! Just like soulsings says, focusing on your physical health is very important to being able to manage your own anxiety levels when you are due to sit tests.
How do u ensure that you are not attached to someone?
How do you start to even love yourself when what every or who ever you try to be with or do ends up in rejection ?
How do you even being to have direction when your family doesn't understand , and they don't understand themselves?
@NkosazanaHi there, Those are really interesting questions. I wondered what your question means where you asked, how can you ensure that you are not attached to someone. I’d like to explore this with you before I answer it so I can be sure I’ve answered it appropriately. Self-compassion and love need to come from within. We have to love ourselves and try to avoid relying on external validation to feel satisfied in our lives. I would suggest that you explore building your own self-esteem and compassion and then perhaps you may find this elsewhere too. It’s difficult when our family does not understand our direction because we can feel lost and stuck at times but it’s important that you follow what you feel is best if you are at an age where this is possible.
Lisa,
What suggestions would you have for helping someone to take action on their mental/physical health goals? I tend to be very self aware of my situations but I also tend to stay in limbo. My self-destructive tendencies are easier to live with and turning my “game-plans” into actions is one of the hardest steps for me. I see my behavior, I see myself capable of change but I stay neutral. A car analogy could be that I’m in neutral and I want to be in drive. My mind feels more powerful than my will to make changes.
Thank you for the opportunity to share and get some profession feedback. Thank you 7cups!
@VioletPerson1783Hello there, It sounds like perhaps you feel like you’re procrastinating on meeting your goals for mental and physical health? It is great that you’re self-aware, do you think you could write down 3 of your most important health goals and try to work on those? For example, one of your goals could be sleeping better and the ways in which you could work on these might be to work on the growth path to develop better sleeping habits, forming a sleep routine, and ensuring that you are not looking at a screen close to your usual bedtime. Just steps in which you can break the goal down might be useful for you as often we can become overwhelmed with our goals and then it leads to us feeling anxious about meeting them which can lead to decreased performance too. Another way to increase motivation might be to look at what you are passionate about and see if it helps you to focus. It sounds like you want to work on your health so perhaps you could learn more about how to become healthier and you might find that you become really interested in the topic which will help you stay motivated.
@soulsings
Great post and thanks for giving everyone the opportunity to ask questions. Something I would like to hear about are coping tools to calm an overactive mind and adhd.
@amiablePeace77Hi there, Thank you for your question. :) There are a few ways we can develop coping skills to calm an overactive mind and ADHD. Often when we have a busy mind, it can be difficult to focus so perhaps focusing on prioritising the things that need to be done in your day might help you to focus on what needs to be done. By breaking down tasks, you can ensure that you are focused on the most important aspects of what you need to do. Mindfulness can be very beneficial for those suffering from ADHD and having an overactive mind because it helps you to slow down and focus on the moment (and not the next moment or even the one after that!). Mindfulness walking and taking in all of the natural surroundings can be really useful too. Self-care is very important to feeling your best so knowing when you need to take time for yourself can really help you to feel more focused. Try to see if you can focus on 3 aspects of self-care and apply those to your life. Focusing on your health is also very important because when we do not get adequate rest, nutrition and exercise it usually has a negative impact on our mental health.
@LisaMeighanMBPsS
Thank you for sharing Lisa, I do not suffer from Adhd (I asked for someone else) but sometimes my mind is just spinning when too much is going on irl. I think you made very good points about adequate rest, nutrition and exercise.
How can I create more positive thoughts?
How do I know if my therapist is the righ fit for me? How can we have a solid therapeutic connection so to speak?
How can yoga help with therapy?
thanks,
NG2
@NG2
Friend.
Lisa will answer in a few days, but I can tell you something that maybe will be good for you:
Buy youself a small, nice notebook. Then you start writing, 3 things each day to be thankful for. For example when I am sitting here writing to you I can be thankful for 1. My heart pumping the blood around in my body, 2. The good icecream I just ate, 3. The wonderful flat I have to live in.
Helga.
@HelgafyWhat wonderful coping skills here. I love the idea of a gratitude journal!
@NG2
Hello there, Thank you for your questions! Focusing on life in a positive way and reframing the negative thoughts can be useful. We all have negative thoughts that pass us by and we can choose to react to them or we can let them pass by. An exercise called Leaves on a Stream which is based on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can really help you to cognitively diffuse the negative thoughts and learn to let them pass you by which helps you to remain focused and helps you to channel the more uncomfortable or unhelpful thoughts. There are many videos and scripts which will help you to learn more about the Leaves on a Stream exercise. It’s such a useful technique and I hope that you enjoy it. Finding the right therapist is really a personal choice and we might look at our therapist’s background, the therapeutic approach they use in sessions, credentials, and general approach as a person. Some people might like a more direct therapist that approaches the issues that you are seeking support with and another might prefer a warmer and more exploratory approach.
Yoga helps you to become calmer and more mindful and it can help you practice what you’ve learned in therapy outside of sessions too.
I've benefited from therapy greatly, and my life further improved when I combined therapy with medication.
I was so sad when my therapist had to leave the country (but I was supportive of their life choice) thus ending our sessions. Even though she put me in touch with other therapists, it felt impossible for me to even entertain the idea of opening up to another stranger.
Therapy was the most vulnerable I've felt as an adult and it took immense strength and time to even agree to see one. But looking back I understand that I was incredibly lucky to have my first experience be with someone so capable, sincere, and we had good chemistry which helped me to open up about myself (not easy for me). I am someone who needs to "get to know you" before I feel comfortable opening up about myself (therapy was trying to help me with this). Ending the relationship with my first therapist was not unlike a breakup and yeah it felt like grief.
My question is: is this normal or common? And if so, what advice to you give to someone who knows the benefits of therapy, wants to continue, but struggles to open up to strangers?
Second question: is online therapy (via chat and email) REALLY as effective as face to face therapy?
Thank you for creating this space to ask my questions and share my experience.
@InangaroHi there, It takes tremendous strength and courage to go to see a therapist and you made such a big decision to invest your time and resources into therapy. I can only imagine how tough it is that your therapist left the country and having to go through all of the stages of grieving the loss of the relationship.Hi there,
It takes tremendous strength and courage to go to see a therapist and you made such a big decision to invest your time and resources into therapy. I can only imagine how tough it is that your therapist left the country and having to go through all of the stages of grieving the loss of the relationship. It can feel like a breakup because essentially any relationship breakdown (for whatever reason) can bring about deep feelings of loss and grief.I am so glad to hear how you had a good experience and you really trusted your therapist. Therapists are trained to help you feel at ease in sessions and I know it feels huge to open up to a stranger (because it really is a big step!). You’ll find as time goes on and you get to know your therapist that it becomes easier to trust and really open up in sessions and express how you feel. It is very normal how you feel, I have worked with people who have felt grief because they’ve had to work with a new therapist and it feels very overwhelming to begin with. It might be useful to try to look at all of the benefits that you experienced with your first therapist and see if those benefits are worth taking the next step and seeking support from a new therapist. Your new therapist will be trained to go at your own pace so you do not have to feel overwhelmed by wondering what will happen if you struggle to open up in sessions.
Yes, I believe wholeheartedly that online therapy is just as effective as face-to-face therapy services. Often, when we are working online with a therapist it can feel a little easier to open up and with the responses at 7 Cups being Monday - Friday 1-2 times per day it means that you are able to build rapport with your therapist quite quickly. We have had so many people feel better at 7 Cups using our services (listening services with our amazing listeners and also in online therapy).
Is in-person therapy more beneficial in the diagnosing process than online therapy? Is there much of a cost difference?
@Marigold357Hi there! That is a great question. It all depends on the individual situation as some conditions can be difficult to diagnose in-person and also online too. The cost of in-person therapy for one hour can be the same amount as a full month of online therapy at 7 Cups. We try to ensure that cost is not a barrier to receiving support at 7 Cups.
Hi @soulsings, thanks for the opportunity.
I’d love to hear some advice on increasing my motivation. I’ve been falling in and out of my momentum on doing activities at work and within my community.
There comes a time when I get fired up to do something then will get bored after a few moments. I could not sustain a proper routine or activity as a result.
Thanks for your help.
@Hmarqueses1
Hi there, Thank you for your question! Increasing motivation is often difficult in the moment as it can sometimes make us feel overwhelmed and stuck. Can you think of something that you can do each day to build momentum? It can be small and this might help you achieve your goals at work and within your community. Make them specific and perhaps write them down.
Also, you might want to look at the reasons that are causing you to feel unmotivated. It can help when we work on the underlying issues to work on possible solutions and easy to implement changes in our life.