Hey, I'm a Certified Counselor, ask me anything you'd like to

Hi @SarahGeorgeDCS How are you?

What can I do to stop feeling really empty and angry? I feel unwanted and worthless.

Dear Sarah,

I'm sorry for the long message. If it's too long, jump to last two paragraphs.

I started to have anxiety problems with strong panic attacks, more than 10 years ago. It got better in two years or so, in a way that I managed to keep my concerning thoughts in the back of my head. They were there, but they were "locked" most of the time. That's why I often felt stressed, but I became used to it and learned to live with it.

At the beginning of this year, I found out that I have a benign cancer on my spine and since it was a holiday time, I wasn't able to talk to the doctor that made diagnosis. My mind was going crazy during those few days and when I finally reached the doctor, it turned out that it wasn't a big deal, I became relieved and I can say that it didn't worry me at all after that conversation, but negative impact it had on me was undeniable, especially because I finished my studies after a long time and I considered it as a beginning of a new chapter, after which things will finally go in a better direction and instead almost instantly I got those bad news.

Last two years were really stressful, because I almost lost both of my parents due to sickness and during that time I was finishing my studies, so it was extra hard with that burden.

So, I finished my studies in December and I was finally relieved, but then this cancer thing shook me up real good.

After that, I found out that my dad was swimming in debt, because of his indifference and I needed almost two months to take care of everything, which was really hard and stressful, because it was hard to track everything (some bills were more than 15 years old). Also, we made a deal that he'll help me renovate an old place that he posseses, after I finish my studies, but then I found out about all the debts and like that wasn't enough, he interferes with renovation, because he wants to keep some of the old stuff, but doesn't want to go there and pick up what he wants. I plan to make this place a home for me and mum, since he doesn't want to go away from her place and right now, that's not a place to live at.

He's very hard headed and it's impossible to talk to him. He either stops talking or switches topics, without any chance to get him to talk about any problem that exist. People think that there's a way to talk to him, but there isn't. Me and mum tried everything and even if you recommend something regarding that, I bet you it wouldn't work. It would take too long to describe his behaviour, but it's so frustrating. He completely ignores whatever you tell him and does everything as he likes, like he lives alone, while completely ignoring me and mum. I had an anger outburst last week, which happened due to piled up desperation regarding this whole situation with him and that's one more thing that made my old problem so big again.

I do feel very unsettled inside, but I don't rage. He ruined my and life of my mother with his actions. We are both happy type of person, but he makes us miserable no matter how happy we manage to be. We don't have neighbours we can invite, we don't have relatives we can invite, we don't have any guests, because it bothers him, when someone else is present. I don't have any friends, because of his numerous restrictions, while I was attending school. I don't have much hobbies, because everything I wanted to do, he found something in it, that made it a no no. Whatever I mentioned, he saw a great danger in it and hundred of reasons why it is bad for me.

Mum and I talked a lot about getting him out of house, but she's feeling too weak to do so, because she's a blind person and feels dependant on him, although I told her a hundred times that I'll stay available for her even with him gone. She lives almost 40 years with him and that's one more reason for her to feel bad about it and now, when he almost died last year, that thought became hard for me too, despite everything he has done through time and what he still does (or doesn't do).

I have some health problems that make me unable to do every type of job and whatever of those low pay jobs I do, it doesn't cover anything but rent, so I'm unable to move out.

I reached out to some relatives three years ago, because I was offered help. That was a big hope for me and I expected a lot from it. It turned out that lots of things were far from how I was told and how I imagined it and I wasn't able to stay there so long to settle up, because mom was depressed all the time and she talked about getting medicine and things like that, which made me very concerned for her. I moved back home and became severly depressed, because although lots of things weren't as I imagined them or I wanted them to be, while I was staying with my relatives, I felt much more relaxed living there. They all live not so far from each other and I was finally surrounded with people, travelling around, doing various things, learning something new and feeling cheerful. That was all gone when I came back and that's why I felt hopeless again. I talked with mother about it and more I talked, more stressed she became, because she couldn't help me. Two months after I came back, she had a heart attack and was inch away from dying... I stopped talking about my dissatisfaction and did everything I knew to make her feel calm and to get her back to her feet. She was a bit better, but I see that her condition is getting worse. She has trouble with hearing, she's stressed about whole situation, she's stressed because little sight she had is non existent now, she has troubles walking and so on. She's such a good person and she was always there for me when I needed her, helped me through a lot and went through all this horror my father gave us with me, and I'm getting really, really concerned that I'll loose her, which means that I'll have to go through everything completely alone. I want her to witness better things, that I believe will come and I'm so scared that one of us, or even both, won't succeed through this pain.

When he ended in hospital, I think that I hoped that he'll die, so we can live our lives in peace. I realized that I don't want him to die and I feel awful for thinking like that. I'd even like to stay in contact with him, but with him living separately from us. He gets pretty sick from time to time, so that's a bit out of option too.

For some time I have problems with my stomach. I think that stress worsens symptoms, but I'm not sure. Two weeks ago, I went to a doctor to help me and she sent me to some examinations. Medication she gave me didn't really help and with days passing by, I became more and more tired and I felt like I'll fall asleep while completely awake. Like my brain is sending signals to shutt off, but I send signals to stay awake. I feel tired pretty often and also, like I didn't have enough sleep, but I never felt like this. It got me even more concerned, when I had a stuffy nose, because I dreamed for few times during last year, about holding my breath after which I woke up without air. Because of that and stuffy nose, I got concerned that I'll die from suffocation while being asleep. It got me so worried, that whenever I was about to fall asleep, panic kicked in and made me completely awake. My initial panic attacks occured when I realized that I'll die one day and some unpleasant feeling went through my body. Thinking about it makes me feel so bad that it can't be described. After that, I became anxious all the time, because I fear somewhere inside that panic attack just waits to happen. At that time, I was able to sleep once I managed to fall asleep, so that way I recovered a bit during the night, but at the moment, going to bed is my biggest panic attack trigger. I didn't have any sleep for three days and only after I took some sleeping pills, I managed to sleep. Last night I took only half pill and it seems like it wasn't enough. Other big thing that made me worry a lot is this Corona Virus, because I'm afraid about my parents getting sick from it and besides, I'm afraid that inflation will eat up my savings, which will make me unable to move out again.

I want to live my life without being anxious, depressed and having panic attacks, but due to this sleeping problem and awful tiredness, I don't have such strength as before. I didn't want to take medicine, but I'm up even for that right now. Talking with people on 7cups helps a lot, because I feel so empty without people in my life. I feel all alone and it's almost as awful as all I previously described. I think that I'd manage to go through this again, without pills, if my mom was strong as back then and if I'd have few more helpful people around me (in person), because whenever I hear and talk to someone I know, I feel like my life blossoms and like everything will be fine. I know that there's a lot I need to work on, but I feel so lost and hopeless right now. Please help me.

Yours sincerely,

Dominik

Hey, I have some questions. So I've been having really bad anxiety, thinking my family means me harm, but the thing is, I love my family and I think they love me, but I can't get these thoughts out of my head, and the more I think about it, the more I believe it. It's the What If's that get me

What if they never loved me?

What if they're planning to do something bad to me?

What if I've been deceived?

What if I'm stupid and can't see what's going on?

What if they're all in on it but me?

I'm constantly conflicted between knowing that they love me, and the thought maybe they really don't.

But they've never given me any reason to think this. My parents have stayed married for 30+ years, they've never treated me badly, but what if it's a facade?

So my question is how do you discern whether or not it's a mental disorder, I'm right, or I'm over thinking it?

I keep thinking that the very fact that I'm having these thoughts means that they must be true. Are they thoughts that I'm worrying over for no reason, or are they based in logic? How can you tell?

How much is the fish?

I think I might have a form of schizophernia or psychosis, can you help?

Any tips to be more socially saavy in any social situation ?

All I want to know is what is wrong with me mentally but I'm too scared to go to therapy because I have a serious problem with opening up. How to find the right therapist or doctor to get a diagnosis from?

I have been looking for a councelor that can help me with my family issues. My parents have been arguing on and off for the past few days and bringing me into there arguments and making me pick each of their sides. Also my mom has been pushing me very hard to face time or talk to my friends because have been on online school but she doesn't understand that my friends don't want to talk to me when I ask them and continues to push me. The continuous pushing has made it really hard for me because it makes me feel like my friends don't care to talk to me or they wouldn't care if I were even friends with them or not. I really want to not feel like this anymore and it stressed me out to think about it.

hi :)

ive been dealing with depression and anxiety for the past three years and through a lot of stress have developed an ulcer, recently i've found that i've started to deal with my anxiety and depression by distracting myself with eating foods that hurt my stomach. i guess i put myself if pain to distract myself from the thoughts in my head. and recently i feel like the thoughts have just been getting louder, i don't know if that makes any sense at all but do you have any recomendations for different and/or healthier ways to deal with this or distract myself?

Any tips on how to learn to be comfortable in my own company? It drives me mad being alone.