Hey, I'm a Certified Counselor, ask me anything you'd like to
I had already posted this message in other places on this thread. But since I'm seeing new messages and questions coming in- I'm posting the same message below again.
Dear all, its been a wonderful experience interacting with a lot of people across the world in our 7cups community through this thread which has now been running over two years. I regret to inform that I won't be able to respond to the posts here, going forward. I'm unable to dedicate adequate time to be able to do this and hence I request everyone's understanding. Warmth and strength to one and all !!
For all those who are seeking support- 7cups have multiple group support forums and one to one listening services.Also there are self help articles and resources available free on the website. Please do check them out if you'd like to. Big hugs to all!
@SarahGeorgeDCS
I see that you have displayed your number on your profile. I have sent you an sms. I hope you don't mind. Even if I made you uncomfortable by sending you a text without letting you know then please don't hesitate to let me know
@Fairmindedskies2001 Yes, that is the official number for my private practice. You could use that number for any appointments/referrals etc. I hope you understand :)
@SarahGeorgeDCS
For months now, I haven't been great. I'm always tired; no matter how much sleep I get. It's been hard to concentrate at school and I'm not doing as well as I wish I was. I either feel empty or overwhelmed and it feels like normal people activities (showering,eating, socializing/talking, etc.) are really hard for me. I started self harming last year after some things went down. I had stopped but I'm doing it again. And school, it gives me this weird nervous/tense feeling. Even the tiniest things put me in edge. I still laugh and talk and do said normal everyday activities but it's really hard for me. Really really hard and when I get home I usually cry over how hard it was. Or sometimes the tears don't even fall out. Something is wrong with me. What's wrong with me?
@Elaine246 Hey seems like you have been really feeling low for sometime now , and I can imagine all of these things are making you anxious as well. I can understand what makes you question yourself. However, let me tell you - people go through these phases in their life and it is a phase that can pass if you address it the right way. It is very important to ask for that helping hand and extra support when you feel helpless on your own. You could immensely benefit from some professional help, pls try and do that if you are able to manage that. In addition to that, you can participate in the community forums here and discuss your issues with many other people who are going through similar things. Take care of yourself , you are showing the courage to talk about what you're feeling than just brushing it under the carpet. Not everyone can do that, really proud of you. Hugs!!
@Elaine246 Just noticed that you are a teen. You could look up our adult/teen listeners or look up our therapists directory for individual support. Online theray on 7cups is not open to teens as of now. Just wanted to make it clear.
@SarahGeorgeDCS
Hi. I hope this thread is still open. I'd like to ask about work stress. I read that it could just be burnout, but how can I tell if I am just in a phase or if I am really in need to quit my job? See, the company I work for has had restructuring done in Jan 2016 and it caused me stress. I thought it was a phase, me trying to adapt to changes but up till Dec 2017, I still could not come to accept the restructuring. Jan 2018: again, another restructuring where the tiny division that I was in was disbanded and we were to merge with a larger division.
My supervisor gave me additional work load for the month of May to see if I could handle it or if we'd have to hire someone to help out. I accepted it, believing I could, but I was wrong. At the end of May, we discussed my progress and I told her I don't think I can handle it. Instead of sticking to the deal of hiring someone to help, she insisted that I push myself, despite my telling her that I swear this is as good as it's gonna get. But nope, she wouldn't listen.
It's June now and I still cannot cope with the changes. I am disappointing everyone around me. I keep getting told off by my colleagues to pick up the pace -- but I have my own original work load to do as well! My own clients (that I have nurtured) are getting neglected! I keep telling myself that it's just a phase, that I will adjust and get used to it... but it's been two years and counting and I am really, really, stressed. I have to work (unpaid) overtime, my appetite's gone... my heart is just not there anymore. The only thing stopping me from quitting is me feeling bad to leave my colleageus in an even tighter spot, and my reluctance to change.
Is this burnout/a phase or is it really an obvious sign for me to leave my job? (I'm sorry this got long. I couldn't shorten it any more.)
@EarlyOnion Hmm, work stress can really get on you at times. Definitely, its not just you! Its good that you are introspecting. This is something very specific, and to understand properly what you are going through and for you to come to be able to come to a decision on how to take things forward, it would need a lot of reflection to be done. You seem to be really confused and I do not want to give any suggestion on this, which may not turn out to be the best for you. Pls feel free to look for some individual support with any of our listeners/ therapists. And take care of yourself!!
@SarahGeorgeDCS what are some tips for someone who ends up with a bunch of fake friends and barely had any
@loyalPlum8325 Hmm, everyone may not have the same level of ability to make friendships and nurture them. But relationship building is part of developing emotional intelligence and it can be worked upon. It needs practise. You could start with making conversations with people that are different to you and see if you are able to emotionally connect. Test your waters. And if you're ending up with fake friends all the time , then there could be something going wrong in the choices you're making while coming to people. Will need to reflect on what do you look for in a friend? What makes a genuine friend for you? What draws you to people? How do they come into your inner circle (that is from hanging out friends to close relationships)? etc. Just some questions for you to reflect . And pls remember, beware of having self-doubts when friendships turn sour. Its not just your fault, or may not be your fault at all also.
When does an eating disorder become an eating disorder? Ive gone a couple days in the past here and there not eating; i always thought as a form of self harm. But im at a point now where ive been restricting my food for going on a week. I cant get the voice to stop. Im not sure what to do. Is it just a phase that will pass like it has been in the past? I dont feel like its an eating disorder but then why am i doing this. Thanks for reading.
@Npepsicola For an eating disorder diagnosis, you will need to consult a doctor. Having said that, these issues can come from a variety of psychological reasons as well- including prolonged stress /anxiety and many more . Whatever is triggering it would have to be understood and addressed for which therapy can help. It is not possible for me to answer your query in here. Since it seems like getting to you, I suggest you get one to one therapeutic support and if required a medical evaluation as well.
I see a psychologist in person but I've recently run into some difficulty. My treatment is covered by insurance but due to some sort of billing error, my therapist has not been paid by the insurance company in some time. Now my psychologist wants me to pay him out of pocket and have the insurance company reimburse me, but when I asked the insurance company about it they said that isn't possible, bills need to come from him and not from me. This wasn't a problem before but now it is and I'm very anxious because my therapist asked for payment and I said no because the insurance company told me to say no. Now I'm afraid to see my psychologist again because I feel bad he hasn't been paid in a while and I'm worried he will continue pressuring me to pay him out of pocket and seek the reimbursement the company says is not possible. I'm not very good at standing up to people and standing up to him about this is especially awkward. To further complicate things he knows I recently got a bonus at work and so I definately have the money to pay him but I also don't want to pay him directly if the insurance that is supposed to cover this won't reimburse me.
Any thoughts on how I might get through this? Thank you!
@northernspy Oh, that must be a tricky situation. But honestly, I don't think its in my capacity to make any comments on this. Hope you understand. I wish all of these things get sorted for you at the earliest.
@SarahGeorgeDCS I understand, thank you.
Your psychologist and your therapist are the same person? If they are the same person, he entered into an agreement with the insurance company, and he entered into an agreement with you. He can't simply decide to back out of those agreements because of a billing error. He needs to resolve the billing error.
It seems to me you are correct when you refuse to pay him directly, because that was not the agreement. How much money you happen to have at the moment has nothing to do with it. Even a billionaire would refuse to pay him directly.
It was unprofessional of him to ask you for direct payment, in my opinion, because that was not the agreement. Worse than that, it sounds like he has handled this billing error in a way that has damaged his therapeutic relationship with you.
I asked a therapist I know in real life what she would do in this situation, and she said her first priority would be her therapeutic relationship with her client. She said billing errors are common, and she hates the extra work the insurance companies cause her.
@northernspy
@SarahGeorgeDCS
my gf and I have been having a lot of issues.. we love each other to death but.. neither one of us wants to compromise
@MesaNdavid Hmm, relationship issues can be hard. I'm glad you are aware of your own issues. Next thing is willingness to work on issues. If that is lacking, you will need some introspection to be done on your own and also develop some empathy for each other. Relationships need to be nurtured. I wish you both all the best. Hope it works out for you guys. If you need support- it is available in any form that you prefer. But yes, willingness to work matters. Ultimately, its both of you in the relationship
Never mess with ur mind
How do you know when you're depressed? Right now I feel like I'm just living in a cycle of emotional numbness where I feel anything from emptiness, sadness or shame. I'm also struggling to feel emotions in reaction to things which is why I feel that I am emotionally numb. Is there a difference between being emotionally numb and being depressed? Thank you so much for your help and taking the time to answer my questions!
@samiblue4386 If you are talking about clinical depression, it will need diagnosis by a medical practitioner. However the "feeling" of being depressed can strike many of us at different times. If it is persisting for longer duration, it is important that you reach out for support to understand and work on whatever is been causing this emotional stress. I hope you will do that soon. Take care of yourself!!
@SarahGeorgeDCS
hi I want to adopt a more positive attitude and I just wanna be able to speak my mind and make better and clearer judgments I just wanna better myself overall
@thoughtfulCity2429 That's wonderful. I'm guessing this comes from a realisation that you are not being able to have the clarity you need and probably negative thinking is disturbing you right now. The desire to improve and willingness to work is definitely the first major step towards self improvement. Some work will need to be done to reason out what's preventing you from being the person you want to be- the hurdles, roadblocks- will need to all be worked upon. Once that's done- to keep that attitude up and running will be easier . Support is always available in different means if you feel you need handholding in that process.