Hey, I'm a Certified Counselor, ask me anything you'd like to

@BeyondTheInfinity

Social anxiety can be a scarry place to be in, I understand. Firefighting techniques you will need to try and see what works for you when you are facing the difficult situation . Considering the long term emotional well being, I'd say it would work better if you can get to the bottom and work from there. Though you are saying its irrational, this fear of being judged could be coming in from somewhere.Practising mindfulness would help to a great extent. This can be done through exercises available online or even in your daily chores like say cooking or walking.Visualizing ( you could even use something like virtual reality gadgets for this which will give you a feel of a crowded mall for instance ) and mock situation trials would help you challenge yourself. One thing that really works is helping other people facing similar issues cope. Hope you find these helpful :)

@Dreamxcatcher Hmm, I understand you feeling inadequate and critical of self. It is great that you are acknowledging how you feel. You talking about it shows that this is something you want to improve in yourself. Self worth doubt is something deep rooted in you probably, it is important to work on this, figure out where the insecurity is coming from and address it. This will need time and getting some support can definitely help you when you yourself are not able to be objective about this. As a small tip, you could try jotting down your ideas about a perfect human being. It could give you a picture of your 'ideal self' and how that's making you judgemental towards your own self.

@Fairmindedskies2001 Hey , thanks for reaching out. Self esteem is something that needs to be worked on focusing on with an individualistic approach depending on where the person is at. It is something that needs healing and transformation from within. Basic process starts from building awareness and understanding where you are at. Needless to say, if there has been any past issues where self esteem was impacted negatively, they will need to be addressed with utmost care. Positive affirmations are a great way to help yourself maintain a healthy self esteem . Another thing is to keep a watch on put-downers, i.e. how you put yourself down by saying or thinking negative things about yourself .Then rationalise what is the actual truth about your qualities. Think over who put these ideas in my mind in the first instance. Keep in mind that somewhere sometime someone has made you believe all these negative thoughts about yourself. Think and write down what is the truth, and the rebuttal to the negative statements. Hope this is helpful. As far as internet addictions and 7 cups is concerned, first see if you are actually addicted or just that its a habit. See for yourself if there is a high amount of dependency. Addictions mostly find place in our lives to fill in an existing void or vaccum. That root cause will need to be worked on for long term benefit. If not, once you get off this, something else will pop up.

@Fairmindedskies2001 Oh awesome, good to see people from India here.

@LoverofLove14 Can imagine the deep hurt and rejection you're going through. When you say ex-fiance, I can imagine how emotionally invested you must have been in this relationship. So you finding it really difficult to get going forward is understandable. Sometimes, time is not the best healer. Separations are after all like losing of a loved one forever. You may need to go through something similar to each of the staged in the grieving process if its that deep. You could google that up. I can give you some tips -but you told me these " tips" kind of stuff hasnt worked for you. There's not much one sit fits all kind of stuff when it comes to these things. So, I guess it needs some work to be done consciously towards healing from within. If you feel like you need some help with that process, I suggest you to get some one-on-one support for that.

@IknowwhoIam93 I want you yourself to think over what makes you feel it is wrong. Crying is an expression of your inner feelings that naturally comes out. If you feel like crying , then you do and if you don't feel like, you don't. It is as simple as that. You are a genuine person, and you do not want to fake your emotions to show off to people -which is really amazing. And to empathize with your loved ones aound, its not necessary that tears are necessary . Simple gestures like holding their hands tight, a warm hug, etc can make them feel you're with them in this hard time. I hope this is helpful.

@toughPineapple5596 All of us have anxiety in different levels and at different points of time. If it is making you dysfunctional , affecting your daily life, and stopping you from things you want to do- then it needs to be addressed. Panic attacks are the most common signals that its time you took this seriously and starts working on it.That said, there's nothing wrong in addressing it even if its not come to that point. When you notice a pattern, or that its becoming a habit or a part of you- if you start working on it that time, it would help you to prevent it from getting to you, and yeah it will add balance to your personality as well. Anxiety disorders are more severe problems, which will need a medical practictioner to diagose and treat along with counselling support in most cases.

@Axyl698 I can imagine the dilemma you are in. It is indeed nothing less than a traumatic experience when you have battle and convince people around for something you just naturally are. To have fought that battle from a long time, I can understand your frustration and kind of helplessness as well. You mentioned your parents themselves did not have the courage to come out about their identity , so even if they are opposing you when you are being brave , they may somewhere inside be able to relate to what you're going through. So, don't give up. I understand they are really important to you. So, heart to heart communication in the best way possible would be key to put it across to them. Avoid accussation, focus on your own conflicts and emotions, and empathize with why they were not able to come out about themselves. May be you could writing a letter or something to pour your heart out and initiate the conversation. Each of the choices that you will make will have its consequences, and you should well aware and prepared before you go for it. I hope you get to a whole lot of happiness and peace of mind which will make all this struggle worth it. Hugs!!

@AquarianDreams007 What motivates each person would be different. A simple example- At work, someone would get a high from being appreciated by boss, someone else might get it from a monetary incentive. So it is important that you build the self-awareness and understand what all drives you to do better. Goal setting -short term and long term and tracking the progress is definitely a technique that helps most people. Maintaining a gratitude journal is something you could try as well- so that you will acknowledge your simple achievements and derive some energy from them. Also you may have to see if motivation levels are low for certain things in specific and you're all enthu about certain other things. If so, it could be a matter of lack of interest which needs to be addressed separately. Hope that was helpful.

@Maturefriends Hey, you could click on the profile and directly message any therapist. If you contact any therapist directly you will not get the 3 day trial period which you normally get when going through the therapy request bot. If you went through therapy request, yes a bot will take it and it will be allocated to any of our therapists. They will definitely respond to you in 24 hours time.