What Heroin Detox Is Like For Me
I hallucinate coming off Fentnyl laced Heroin really bad. I have seen avalanches in my house, I see a tiger that talks and wants to break my bones and eat me. I hid in my bathroom for 6 days from him and was too scared to turn the water on to get a drink for fear he would hear me. I have seen sharks with metal teeth around my bed. Um..a cat in a space helmet. He could not turn the door knobs in the house. Lol. I remember him poking his head up through the toilet because something shoved him in it I forgot what. It was punishment because he didn’t like water. It also put him in the washing machine and turned it on! I have had wild animals try to get me in my bed. Eagles and shit. I have been every animal. Puppies, birds, etc. I know when the hunter shoots the gun that you have 5 seconds to collect all your bird babies and you can only carry like 5 from 100 of them. I remember my dog was nursing puppies and there was the “milk galaxy.” This man had these ski goggles and you would turn them and open the milk galaxy up. Lol. I dunno...weird stuff. Yeah, that’s what I do coming off Fentanyl & Heroin. So far raw Heroin hasn’t done me this way. I haven’t made it over 3 days and Heroin cut with Fentanyl I couldn’t go 24 or 48 hours without tripping out for 6 to 13 days. I am going to try to detox again off raw Heroin so hopefully I won’t start tripping out in a few days. I get violently ill though & When I hid from the tiger in the bathroom for 6 days I finally laid in the tub because I was so sick I was shitting liquid nonstop for 6 days. I had run in there with my blanket when I got scared & realized I was laying beside him on the couch. Thank god I got off the couch before I started having liquid come out of me nonstop for days! So yeah, that’s what my detoxing is like...
@BipolarNWonderland
Thank you so much for sharing, I know it isn't easy. Way to stay strong and continue your detox path!
@MoJoC
Thank you for the kind words! I just needed to tell someone how I hallucinate becuase out of at least 30 people that I know that are also on Heroin nobody else hallucinates like I do when the start going through withdrawals or full blown detox.
@BipolarNWonderland
Anytime. You should know, you are not alone. I have a good friend who has also been going through the same struggles with heroin and she has experienced hallucinations along with dissociation. What matters is that you are getting help and trying your best to recover!
@MoJoC
I have also felt like I was not in my body. I think that is dissasociation but I am not sure. Do you know?
@BipolarNWonderland
Dissociation is sort of a break in how your brain processes information. Everyone's experience of dissociation is unique and tailored to them; however, it often involves feeling disconnected from yourself and/or the world around you. For example, you could feel as if the world around you isn't real or feel that you are in a way detached from your own body.
Hope this helps!
@MoJoC
yes! I have so felt that way on a number of occasions! Is this something that I should mention to my doctor? I actually quit seeing my psychiatrist becuase for 3 years now I have been hearing and seeing things not only when I detox but all the time. When I detox it just gets out of control. But I do see ghosts daily & I have heard them talking before. I also have felt them touch me. I talked with someone who is Schozophrenic & they said those are all things they experienced when not on medication. Anyway, I got so tired of seeing ghosts that I couldn't stand it any longer I begged my shrink for help & he told me that I was gonna see things because I was on Heroin. I said that does not make you see things. He argued me down & said it did that he had family on it. Well, it just doesn't make you see shit & his family member was obviously crazy in additon to on dope okay. So, I quit right there because I told him I 37 friends on the shit & they didnt see stuff like I did. Anyway, I was thinking about doing a tele health appointment & seeing about getting diagnosed with Schizophrenia which since I have BPD and Bipolar 1 and 2 it would actually be disgnosed and Schizoaffective Disorder. So, should I mention that I dissasociate when I get stressed out sometimes? Do you think I can get diagnosed for my Schizophrenia on like Doctor on Demand or something?
@BipolarNWonderland
I am so sorry to hear that your psychiatrist treated you with such rude disregard for how you were feeling and what you were (and still are) experiencing. I can't speak on the diagnosis as I am not yet a doctor; however, I think it would be a great idea to get a telehealth appointment and find a psychiatrist you are comfortable working with to better help you!
