Looking for a daily accountability buddy - Marijuana
I'm still on the roller coaster. One day weed is an asset to my world and then next day it is a burden. I've tried to do this on my own, but I just can't seem to even make it a day. There's always an excuse... I can't sleep, I can't eat, I'm nauseaous, I need it to start my day... Ugh. What makes me even more pissed off at myself is that I'm a personal trainer and I pound it into my clients that they CAN change and together we work on will power. It's like every time I'm ready to quit, the weed is my friend. I'll smoke and be ridiculously productive, have amazing work outs and get shit done and handled. Other days, it makes me sleepy, hungry and unmotivated. It's been years now. Years that I've been saying I want to quit and I am ashamed. Having it completely removed from the house is not an option as another person living here smokes and is unwilling to quit, I mean, it's their life, not mine, I can't ask them to anyways.
So, I'm looking for a buddy. Someone who will sign on with me every day! Maybe someone who can be there when I want to smoke and need some help fighting the urge. I gotta try something new because doing this along is not working and we all know the definition of insanity right... doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
A little background about me for my potential new friend.. I'm a female, 27 and I've been smoking weed since I was 17. The first half, it was only here and there. Since I've been living with my boyfriend (4 years) it's been an every day, all day thing. We smoke first thing in the morning, all throughout the day, before we go to any event, we need it to sleep.. that's why i'm still awake lol. It's 11:40 pm my time and I'm normally falling asleep by 8:00. I was thinking of just trying cold turkey... but am I about to be awake all night right now!?!?! Dang.
anyone anyone? :)
@NeWoman how's things going with you
@aquaMoon2141 hey there friend... well, I have NOT quit smoking yet :/ I actually tried to go in the other direction and smoke more first lol.
How about yourself?
@NeWoman lol I'm ok thanks I'm on my 46 day and I'm still testing positive for it things are getting better for me but my anxiety and depression is still a problem for me I feel like I've lost my best friend read it took all my worries away and relax me I really really would like to give it up I have gave giving it up but it's a struggle everyday because so many people are smoking it so many people do it there so many influences out there everytime I go to my rehab group I walk past someone who's smoking it or I can smell it it's so hard
Good morning no one! I don't care. I'll be my own accountabilty buddy. Well just so you know... IM AMAZING. I've accomplished so many AMAZING things that so many people cannot so I KNOW FOR A FACT that I am going to change this addiction. I lost 100 pounds. Are you f*$%^$ serious? How? How? How? Because I have drive. Because I'm a goal-getter (haha, I like that). I have drive. I have ambition. And I'm going to let WEED control my entire life? Nope, that's not me. I can accomplish literally anything I set my mind to and that's what I'm doing. Today I sent all the weed to work with my boyfriend. Although, let's be honest with ourselves... I know where to find some if I really looked. I could make it work if I really wanted to. But that's the challenge isn't it? That in itself is the hard part. The minute today ends and I made it all the way to 6pm without smoking... I become successful. Overcoming a challenge is all about small victories. Brick by brick until finally you have built a wall. So today, my main focus is not big picture... big picture being quitting entirely. No, my focus is just... do not search for the weed. Do not search for the weed. Do not search for the weed. Do not seach for the weed. How will I do this? I will tell myself over and over again. I don't need it. I don't need it. I don't need it. I don't need it... until it's finally true. Fake it til you make it right? Today is my bitch and I am the CEO of my life and future. I will reward myself with positive praise WHEN I hit my goal of today, which again, is not smoking until at least 6pm. Baby steps. What about yesterday? YESTERDAY I WON!!!!! I didn't smoke until 6pm. GOOD FOR YOU! YOU HIT YOUR GOAL YESTERDAY SO YOU KNOW FOR A FACT YOU CAN DO IT TODAY!
PS. You're fucking amazing and I love you.
- Self.
@NeWoman
do you still need that buddy?
@chocolate201314 yes I do!!! How are you? Tell me about yourself! :)
Im fine thanks. I have this problem with hash and not so constant, with meds... Im trying to change that... If you want we can find a way to talk and maybe become buddies 😊
i hope you feel good, i promisse to try my best,
take care
choco kisses
@chocolate201314 I've done the prescription pills for a while a few years ago. I am able to smoke LESS just not able to quit completely. I can always persuade myself... I've done all my daily chores, it will make me feel better, I can't focus... so I usually give in to those reasons. Like today, I smoked in the morning idk why but then I had a great day working and then ran 6 miles so I don't see the problem with it. I feel like the main issue I have is depression and wondering whether or not the weed is affecting me negatively. Could it be making the depression worse? Idk :/ so maybe we can check in here every day and talk about how our days went, or how we want our day to go, with our addictions? I'm in pacific time and I normally get on here in the mornings between 8-12ish off and on but my schedule is pretty open and flexible too.
@optimisticAvocado5187 @chocholate201314 just a friendly update on my world.
So my friend came over on Tuesday, who we buy wax (hash, dabs, whatever you guys call it) and she sells it really cheap and my spouse and I just prefer it. The problem with prefering it is... it gives me more energy in the morning, doesn't give me the munchies, and helps me focus.. so it's harder to say no. However, I have been sending it to work with my spouse all week so I can't smoke during the day even if I wanted to. So, I haven't quit, but I have cut back a lot. I suppose that's something to be proud of. Part of me wants to say f&$% it and quit cold turkey right now, but when I tried that last weekend, I was up until 2am and I'm normally asleep by 8pm... so super late for me. Finally at 2am I was like.. I need to sleep at some point, dang. Maybe I should just man up, quit cold turkey, and suffer for 3-7 days... I mean... I'm lucky enough to work from home so I suppose it would be ok if I stayed up all night for a week and took naps throughout the day if I was tired right? Jeez, like that's something to cry about. Of course I'm ready to quit cold turkey at this moment because I'm not craving it right now so it seems easy. Overall I did have a good day though, got a lot of work done, got some learning done. It was a good day.
@NeWoman
I'm struggling with almost everything you describe. Dont know if I'm accountability buddy material, but I'm with you. I have a BF who smokes every day, and it's been part of our daily lives and our relationship for years. It isn't always bad , and many, many times better than other meds, but I'm also depressed, it's a roller coaster, and I want to change.
I'm not going cold turkey. I'm at a few days at a time without it. It's a total success for me. I've seen the results of cold turkey, and it's not for me. The longer I go without it, the more I realize that it isn't always fixing the things I think it is. The longer I go, the better I feel without it, and the worse I feel when I go back. I'm learning to be brutally honest with it, stop the excuses, the judgement and guilt, and slowly remove it from my life becuase it's what I truly want.
@Nyika so you do feel better when you're away from it? That's good to know there is light at then end of this tunnel lol. I agree totally, it's not ALWAYS bad... some days I feel like the day would be WORSE without it, or the depression would be worse without it. That's awesome that you can go a few days without it already though!!! That's where I hope... no... plan to be very soon. I'm at least proud that I've cut back to night time smoking instead of all day. Let me tell you.. maybe 2-3 weeks ago I was smoking hmmm, 5-6 times a day at least. Can never get high enough. This is a process!!! Nice to meet ya, we can still be friends, yes? :)
@NeWoman
I do feel better when I'm away from it. It's still not easy. It's a habit, not a choice for me, so I try to remove it from anywhere that I would just grab it without thinking. I prefer it to be in the garage (3 floors down from my appt.) that alone cuts my use by a massive ammount.
My BF uses it to control anger. He is verbally abusive when he stops, and thinks it's a solution for our relationship, but it also makes him completely stop communicating when he uses it, and in my oppinion that is just as bad as the anger.. I'm completely done with accepting it as a solution rather than dealing with real issues. I'm also completely done with accepting withdrawl as an excuse for treating me badly when he does quit.
I smoked for the last three days. It was my BFs birthday, and I just went along with whatever he did for his sake. I felt horrible, and totally useless. I wasn't doing anything that it helps me do, or really even thinking about it. I just smoked when it was handed to me. It was not fun, not good, and set me back as far as depresssion.
Don't get me wrong, there are still times I would use it, and think it helps, but most of the time I'm finiding that is not the case. I won't be smoking today. I'm not staying at home, didn't bring it, and don't miss it. The last three days were not better. It's a roller coaster, a band-aid, but not a long term solution to anything for me.
Friends would be good, but I'm new to 7cups, so i'm not sure how that works
@Nyika hey there, how's it going? Sorry I didn't reply sooner. That's really hard when your boyfriend gets violent! How do you deal with that? So you're trying to quit and he's not quitting? That's the situation I am in as well, but my BF seems to function just fine with it and I don't see a problem with him smoking. I've still smoked every day.
It's been a month and 3 days without any cannabis in my system and I'm still testing positive my anxiety seems to be getting better week by week but it is a slow progress I know I can do this I'm not letting weeds take over my life I want to explore the world and what it has for me
@aquaMoon2141 congratulations!!! Thank you for sharing with me on here, it's nice to see that it's going to be possible for me! :)
@NeWoman keep it up you can do it is much more out there then smoking weed all day you have so much potential and the weed is letting it all go I believe you can do it actually I know you can do it leaving yourself it's all in the mind
3 days without smoking for me now, and I'm fine. I'll be around it tonight, but I'm going to keep reminding myself that it's not someting I can't have, it's someting I truly don't want anymore.
I've been finding that the more I lower my tolerance, the less I like it. I used to smoke all day, every day, and I was fairly functional with it. Now I use it and I just feel glued to the couch, and incapable of communicating or making decisions. I find that more more annoying than enjoyable.
Hopefully I can remember these thiings and be honest with myself when I'm around it later.
@optimisticAvocado5187 @aquamoon2141 @chocolate201314 @nyika good morning friends. How is everyone life going? Mine is going well, but I have not quit smoking yet. In fact, I tried going in the opposite direction and smoke more. I was thinking that every time I think about smoking I put a negative spin on it, so maybe if I just gave in and stopped trying to quit and accept that I am a smoker then I would feel better. That worked for a few days... I hit all my goals, did all my chores and everything was fine just smoking all day long. But then throughout the week I started getting tired and lazy and lost again. Like today.. I have the whole day ahead of me to be productive as I want but my mind just feels so lost. I feel like I need to do this just to prove to myself that I can. I haven't smoked yet today, but I'm thinking I'll just try cold turkey and get this done and over with....
Day One. Today I'm quitting cold turkey, no matter what. I don't care if I'm feeling nausea, I don't care if I can't sleep... this will all pass, that's what I have to tell myself when the cravings hit hard over the next week or so. I'm so tired of feeling worthless every single day. I need value and a purpose and I just have to do this. Tappering off doesn't work, I always end up back to smoking all day like I always do. I need a change, today, before I just give up on this meaningless life. I am determined today.
@NeWoman you can do it any women😊 I was a heavy heavy smoker smoking high-grade skunk it's my 50th day without it and I've tested negative today you can do it believe in yourself
@aquaMoon2141super proud of you!!
@NeWoman Great mindset! Keep it up and knowing that each craving is an opportunity to get one step closer towards achieving your goal. I have been smoking consistently multiple times for about 4 years and I quit cold turkey for 3 months now. If I can do it, you can do it too. Let us know about your progress :)