I have a high pressure software job and severe adhd
As I’m sure you can gather from the title. I have a stimulant addiction. But I also have a medically necessary reason to have them with my adhd. I’ve tried tapering off and alternative medications but it all comes down to the same thing every time. My work performance suffers so strongly that I risk losing my job and then I would be in a much bigger problem. I just want to not need them as my crutch but I can’t stop them. When I lost my insurance and ability to get my adderall I started buying armodafinil as a cheap substitute from online Indian pharmacies. I just hate feeling like I’m not in charge of the controls anymore. It feels like I’m John Malkovich in the movie Being John Malkovich. I can see everything happening but I’m not consciously controlling it. I could reach out and stop at any time but doing so would throw my life into turmoil.