My Name is Peaches, and I'm a Whiskey Puking Alchy (possible triggers)
So, I'm starting this thread for my growth path. . . but, I am going to share some of my story.
So, when I was about 14 I had my first drink. I only ever got buzzed until sixteen. I started to steal the bottles of wine off my parents wine rack while they were sleeping, chug them and replace them with water. This went on for quite a while until my dad had realized what was going on with their wine collection. He just blew it off and went off on us a little bit.
Shortly after this, I had a friend who was 21, a brother of my good friend, who enjoyed drinking with us. He would come to work with me to help out some days and we would stop by a liquor store and get few half gallons of Old Crow or Svedka... whatever it was at the time, and also some dirty thirties. This lead to me getting a mini fridge for my room and just telling my parents it was for soda. They never really checked and when they did they didn't know what to do because I always restocked if they dumped. I was consistently getting hammered by the time I was 17.
I partied a lot, crashed a lot of cars, went to jail 4 times ultimately, had a seizure right before I quit on my rented houses kitchen floor and just a whole lot more you probably don't care to hear. It ws a wild time in my life. I also vomited, a lot. I would drink while vomitting to make the pain stop. It was usually because of withdrawal the next day.
When I turned 19, I was living in a cold garages upper story with just a mattress, a TV, and the houses WiFi. I woke up and felt the withdrawal, it wasn't a hangover. My skin was blue, I couldn't breathe, I was broke. I went out and sold a lot of my old video games and stuff with my friend for booze money. My car was seriously packed full of all of my belongings including about 7 guitars.
I would just take shot after shot after shot, day and night. Wake up, take a few, sleep more. The withdrawal was too bad to face. I have also done a ton of drugs because of alcohol. Heroin, LSD (I enjoy it, I think it can be good for your mind), Ketamine, Exctasy, PCP, Crack, Coke, Meth, daily weed smoker, any opiates, any benzos, blah blah. I never shot up, though. My favorites are Alcohol, LSD and opiates. Benzos rank up there. If this post is triggering, feel free to quit reading.
I would chug out of liquor bottles while driving, hit the bong while driving and ultimately I did get a DUI. Luckily, I never hurt anyone but myself in a vehicle. I rear ended someone once with a cop behind me and he came up to my car and saw the beer bottles laying in the seat beside me and I was like, "go ahead, man... sorry." He walked back to the cop and walked back up to me and said,
"Get outta here, I told her their is no damage."
So, I drove off. I have crashed into a pole and managed to back out and drive off, that night I crashed again. . . there was a winter storm and I wanted to make it to a party... that night I spun off the road into a ditch and the next day we had a tow truck pull my truck out. My dad came and picked me up before any cops got there.
I crashed my brothers truck once trying to chase someone down out of my driveway who stole my car to take a girl home from a small get together we were having. I fell off the side of my driveway and tumbled down the hill (it was a driveway leading down to our house, a long one, with woods on the side and a creek with a stormpipe under it. It was a pretty big hill, about twenty feet down to the creek. I got caught on a tree luckily. The next day my dad took my wheels off my Bravada, the people did return. I took molly and did acid and smashed my car windows out to prove a stupid point. I was in a living hell.
When I moved out on my own things only got worse and I got severely depressed and hid myself in marijuana and alcohol. I lost the house I was renting and started living in motels and extended stay hotels, but I would get kicked out for getting drunk and playing guitar too loud, finding the other partiers, etc... I was too loud. I was always very sick without drugs or alcohol. To the point I wanted to commit suicide and would cut myself.
I have been in an ambulance four times, and hospitalized quite a few. I went to rehab twice, multiple detox centers... some I would leave the next day. I was homeless at one point with my roomate from my sober living home. We relapsed and I backed into the light pole in the houses yard and broke it down. We wound up just roaming town that night, he stole a tent by swapping price tags for a cheap one on an expensive one. About 30 dollars for a 300 dollar tent. We set it up in the woods by a target and camped out a few nights. I would walk in the Target and walk out with beer. (Five finger discount, I never got caught until he did. Yes, I hate that I did these things.) We wound up both going to jail again together, because we took too much Xanax and he tried to steal wine. He tried to run from the police in my car and when we got pulled over, they took my car and impounded it. Never got it back. We wound up getting released the next day and my charges were dropped in court, his were not. He despises me now.
On and off, I've been relapsing. I am 14 months off of alcohol, but not weed or opiates. I try my best to stay away from alcohol so I dont lose the house I am in now. Thank you for reading, that is not the whole story, but this got too long. I've always been addicted to fun and escapism, I used all the OTC drugs, too. Nearly died on many occasions. I thank whatever higher power put us here for keeping me alive. I became a drug addicted lunatic and I am fixing myself now.
If anyone relates, feel free to talk to me about it.
@Hope3729
Thank you so much for the reply, Hope!
I certainly have experienced the negatives of life, but also it didn't come with only negatives. It opened my mind to a view that I never could have imagined and I left the experience with more wisdom than before. It still haunts me daily, although I have learned to accept it. I help other people with addiction issues daily through my social media pages for music and also people I met in rehab. They also help me.
This site seriously is amazing, I really enjoy being able to voice my story and opinions without having to go to an AA, NA, CA, whatever meeting -- and not be judged too heavily. 
I also suffer from depression, so you can catch me in the Depression Chat nearly every night when I am through with my day.
I have been close to drinking and the people on here have saved my life. They really may not understand, but drinking will most likely kill me someway, somehow, if I go back. It would lead me straight back to the other drugs I've mention above, also.
Once again, thank you for the reply. I'm glad you decided to show empathy! I believed this post would just fall on the backburner and disappear.
Peaches out
@DakotahWasHere
Well, I'm glad you decided to comment! Congratulations on 2 weeks -- I know how much that can suck! Even two days is amazing! The physical part really sucks, but the mental aspect you really need to try and stay on top off... you know, though.
I also smoke daily. I had not taken a break for over a year, but now I am on day 7 of a T-Break. I feel like that may help me enjoy it more. I am not against weed -- at all. I do think it can be misused and I have a tendency to do that with nearly anything. Luckily, it's just not bad in my opinion. I had insomnia and anxiety for a few days after starting the tolerance break. . . but it's fine now.
I felt the same way when I shared, I usually always do... Thank you for sharing, though.
